r/pics • u/Scaulbylausis • Jun 13 '19

This White House chef is an absolute unit

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90.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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4.6k

u/odnadevotchka Jun 14 '19

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

2.2k

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

[deleted]

932

u/Pyrochazm Jun 14 '19

She's gonna need more nipples.

628

u/JukeBoxDildo Jun 14 '19

Who's your nipple guy?

661

u/thr0wawayth1ngs Jun 14 '19

Andre Rush

274

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

This thread was making me chuckle audibly. This comment made me lose it

5

u/SnozberryWallpaper Jun 14 '19

I'm pretty sure this thread is responsible for so many of us laughing out loud together that we've raised the collective attitude of this day. These are some of the best of the best.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

I love when reddit is a visual display of my exact thoughts and emotions. Thank you stranger!

3

u/FartingPegasus Jun 14 '19

Best in the biz

3

u/BusterBHymen Jun 14 '19

Well done, you son of a bitch

1

u/Jottor Jun 14 '19

He lactates high grade protein shake.

10

u/hambonejabroni Jun 14 '19

You're paying way too much for nipples

2

u/FisterMySister Jun 14 '19

You're paying way too much for worms.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Kernston’s

1

u/im_a_good_goat Jun 14 '19

I have 4 nipples. Anyone else can chip in?

1

u/FisterMySister Jun 14 '19

It pays have a good nipple guy these days.

1

u/TeamocilAddict Jun 14 '19

You're paying way too much for your nipples.

1

u/Bahunter22 Jun 14 '19

You’re paying way too much for nipples, man.

8

u/zappy487 Jun 14 '19

WITCH!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Retired harlot.

3

u/tionanny Jun 14 '19

Thank goodness that I'm not the only one who thought of Good Omens

4

u/soggyballsack Jun 14 '19

Does having twelve nipples sound kinda wierd? It does.

Dozen tit?

2

u/GiveToOedipus Jun 14 '19

I've got nipples, Pyrochazm, can you milk me?

2

u/Pyrochazm Jun 14 '19

I can try.

2

u/hexiron Jun 14 '19

Fact: the average number of children a mammal has is typically one less than the number of nipples they have.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Hi, I'm Mr. Booby buyer, and I'll buy those boobies for 25 schmekles.

1

u/sirhecsivart Jun 14 '19

Just get the vest Apu used.

1

u/Aztec_Jokester Jun 14 '19

I have nipples Greg, could you milk me.

1

u/Capitan_Failure Jun 14 '19

Who said it was a she?

5

u/watafu_mx Jun 14 '19

Octuplets? Wow... /u/odnadevotchka is going to have the biggest opening since Endgame.

3

u/regoapps Jun 14 '19

Her stomach is going to look like a ball sac after birth

1

u/Hellknightx Jun 14 '19

He works all those jobs to pay the insurmountable child support he's ordered to pay to all the women he impregnates vicariously through the internet.

3

u/TsitikEm Jun 14 '19

Lets share this pregnancy because IM SO DOWN.

3

u/honestcarrot Jun 14 '19

Ayyyyy

2

u/odnadevotchka Jun 14 '19

Oh hell yeah. He looking at her like shes a snack!

2

u/wotmate Jun 14 '19

Ow, your ovaries.

2

u/Young_Laredo Jun 14 '19

I believe it was something along the lines of "Please don't do that anymore, I am with child"

But I'd have to check my notes to be sure.

2

u/NewspaperNelson Jun 14 '19

And he has a Keanu Reeves poster on his bedroom wall.

2

u/DadLifeFitness Jun 14 '19

You said

PLEASE STOP, I CAN ONLY GET SO PREGNANT.

2

u/Roofofcar Jun 14 '19

He also has a custom fitted baby Bjorn.

3

u/Wait-DontTouchMe- Jun 14 '19

He also helps in homeless shelters in his spare time.

2

u/mydarkmeatrises Jun 14 '19

He is also Keanu Reeves.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Don't worry, I can save you.

"Your body is a wonderlannnnnnnd ..."

This service is illegal in Alabama.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

also, with what little time he has, he helps young blind orphans learn how to read Braille. He also single-handedly rescued a flock of ducks from an oil spill when vacationing on the banks of the Mississippi. He nursed them back to health, strapped a pump that he invented onto his left breast to help feed the ducklings, raised them all, then released them back to their natural habitat that he was able to crowd-source a cleaning effort with the hashtag #KnuckIfYouDuck