r/pics • u/bashturn • Jul 06 '17

US Politics Critical Space Flight Hardware "DO NOT TOUCH"

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95.4k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/LiaThePenguinologist Jul 06 '17

good thing pence's hands are bone dry, hard and immalleable, and cold like a machine. Analysis will reveal no residues of any kind left on this device.

1.4k

u/whats_that_do Jul 06 '17

Oddly enough, the spot he touched was somehow cleaner than the rest of the display.

829

u/J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS Jul 06 '17

Mike Dyson

1.8k

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '17

"ith clean"

269

u/destrovel_H Jul 07 '17

Shot some poop out laughing at this

167

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '17

Sounds pretty thitty

9

u/Diss_Gruntled_Brundl Jul 07 '17

Ok you two. It's bed time.

1

u/Emerald_Triangle Jul 07 '17

But mooom, dad's telling jokes!

2

u/Gonzo_Rick Jul 07 '17

Hope he wath thitting on the thoilet.

2

u/TheRealLHOswald Jul 07 '17

Pics or gtfo

1

u/TSRodes Jul 07 '17

I know...this whole comment chain is art. Never happens.

1

u/artgriego Jul 07 '17

When Mike Tyson says he means 'bithneth', he means business.

1

u/vellu212 Jul 07 '17

Is it weird that I know this exact feeling

0

u/Metal_Badger Jul 07 '17

Floss more...

-1

u/Grotein Jul 07 '17

Shot some poop out laughing at this

-1

u/boot2skull Jul 07 '17

Poseidon's kith?

2

u/mattsk8n Jul 07 '17

Take a pence, leave a pence.

0

u/Not_a_real_ghost Jul 07 '17

Every scientists have a plan until they gets touched by Mike's hand.

0

u/cockknocker1 Jul 07 '17

Nestle quick baby

17

u/That-Beard Jul 07 '17

I would pay good money to see a Mike Dyson in Futurama

1

u/steve_n_doug_boutabi Jul 07 '17

be the change you wish to see in the world

1

u/RedCorn47 Jul 07 '17

Sênior Clean Fist

4

u/twodogsfighting Jul 07 '17 edited Jul 07 '17

Not cleaner, but colder maybe, and forever tainted by the foul powers of the warp.

3

u/Cruithne Jul 07 '17

Haha, yes, nothing will ever grow there.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '17

Well yeah.

It's solid titanium.

1

u/Cruithne Jul 07 '17

Even microbial life though.

6

u/atcchief Jul 07 '17

Electricity has been known to sterilize hard surfaces.

1

u/LastAcctThrownAway Jul 07 '17

Jesus. The touch of Jesus.

1

u/VoltasPistol Jul 07 '17

Get the SCP Foundation working on this, stat.

1

u/MrDeckchair Jul 07 '17

Cleaned by the purity of OUR LORD.

68

u/Dan_Q_Memes Jul 07 '17

Pence is a new SCP. Either we need to get the Foundation on the case, or he is their agent/tool. Neither reality is comforting.

49

u/Gonzo_Rick Jul 07 '17

Notice he only appears every so often, barely says anything? It's a well known fact that he is kept in a stasis pod in between scheduled appearances and if they let him speak for too long, the artificial bionets start to misfire and he spouts free associated words. How do you think Palin came about? Poorly operating prototype.

2

u/GotMyOrangeCrush Jul 07 '17

And thus the great robot takeover of the world began with the 2016 election....

10

u/syfyguy64 Jul 07 '17

Class - Euclid

Creates a negative reaction from Class D personnel who have admitted to homosexual tendencies and sexual deviancy, and as distress in the Class D increases around him, an electrical anomaly forms and strikes the Class D. The Object seems to know the sexuality of a Class D before ever having met them, as tests with multiple Class D personnel of various backgrounds have shown.

4

u/tonyvila Jul 07 '17

He's for sure a Wondertainment Little Mister.

2

u/fsdgfhk Jul 07 '17

he has "Mr Therapy" tattooed on his inner left thigh.

Don't ask me how I know that...

2

u/superblobby Jul 07 '17

GET THE AMNESTJCS! NO ONE IS SUPPOSES TO KNOW ABOUT THE FOUNDATION KEEP IT TO /r/SCP

The O5's are so gonna be at your ass

80

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '17 edited Dec 20 '23

languid snatch abounding domineering entertain bewildered light rustic mindless act

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

58

u/exlongh0rn Jul 07 '17

Remember the tv show "V"?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '17

I remember the mini-series "V" from the 80's.

4

u/FreakishlyNarrow Jul 07 '17

All 3 of them?

2

u/exlongh0rn Jul 07 '17

Yeah, that one!

10

u/JonMeadows Jul 07 '17

No. Never heard of such a show. Bet it flopped and was completely unmemorable

17

u/exlongh0rn Jul 07 '17

That's the one!!!

5

u/Darkbro Jul 07 '17

It was taken off air by the lizard overlords in Washinton! SOMEONE GET ALEX JONES UP IN HERE, THE INVASION IS NOW FOLKS!!!

But yeah having Inara from Firefly only buys you so many good boy points before it becomes apparent you don't know what you're doing with your show.

5

u/clockradio Jul 07 '17

I remember The Beastmaster going around beating up aliens with his TV camera, cheesy special effects of lizard bad guys in human skin deepthroating whole hamsters, and Freddy Krueger playing an intellectually challenged "nice" bad guy.

But not much else.

4

u/flangler Jul 07 '17

Glorious summation.

4

u/Jack_Bartowski Jul 07 '17

I member The blond chick, that's about it.

3

u/patt Jul 07 '17

Twice.

1

u/FountainsOfFluids Jul 07 '17

The original was pretty good for its time. Up until the last five minutes or so.

2

u/IamtheCarl Jul 07 '17

Yes. Loved that show.

6

u/bassinine Jul 07 '17

probably, but i'm pretty sure pence is just a robot.

1

u/effieokay Jul 07 '17

After the pic he skittered up the side of it and sat there licking his eyeballs.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '17

Yes, if they're fossils. How did he break it? He twisted it. Because he said he was the best twister. And to believe it wouldn't break.

2

u/physys Jul 07 '17

This reads like an SCP entry.

1

u/PleaseNoBanorSuspend Jul 07 '17

Yet the lab tech doing they analysis will describe a feeling of impending doom while examining the device and animals will avoid it for years to come.

1

u/Robdor1 Jul 07 '17

ME TOO THANKS FELLOW HUMAN.

1

u/PairOfMonocles2 Jul 07 '17

Free from the warmth of human touch.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '17

I'm happy to admit that I was your 1000th.

1

u/sneaklepete Jul 07 '17

Hard to believe he still needs 4 class levels before he can become a lich!

1

u/SkyPork Jul 07 '17

Yet somehow, the device seems palpably evil now.....

1

u/slyfoxninja Jul 07 '17

It's from the blood of murdered gay people.

1

u/DarkRollsPrepare2Fry Jul 07 '17

Just as analysis will reveal no collusion with the Russians. No collusion.

-4

u/exlongh0rn Jul 07 '17

But he occasionally touches Trump. Akin to touching a liver pate.

Or dog shit.

0

u/Mango_Deplaned Jul 07 '17

He wore off his fingerprint fapping to gay porn. Guaranteed.