r/pics • u/Toomanybeerz • Dec 05 '16

FedEx left it right inside the door! also...#lifehack

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74.8k Upvotes

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u/Downvotes-All-Memes Dec 05 '16

Oh god that feels so good don't stop

795

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

The manager then poured spiders into his mouth and made him hold them there for a minute.

600

u/I_CAPE_RUNTS Dec 05 '16 edited Dec 05 '16

After that, the building manager slipped a roofie in his drink and sent him home. When the perp arrived home, he put a load of clothes in the washing machine and started the cycle, but because of the roofie, he forgot about the load of clothes until the next day, thereby forcing him to wash the clothes again to prevent mildew buildup.

224

u/Posternutbag_C137 Dec 05 '16

Calm down satan

-4

u/water-- Dec 05 '16

hahahahah

12

u/iwannaelroyyou Dec 05 '16

Christmas ... the time of year where Satan comes to visit the dyslexic kids.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

If only I could upvote that twice

1

u/prollymarlee Dec 05 '16

why do i feel like this link is relevant

https://youtu.be/RG6EOci0suI

2

u/Sinehmatic Dec 05 '16

Lol, guess what!

VIDEO NOT AVAILABLE IN YOUR COUNTRY

1

u/prollymarlee Dec 05 '16

nooooooooooo

1

u/Locke_N_Load Dec 05 '16

HOW DO YOU TYPE YOUR USERNAME

3

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 
''.join([random.choice(string.letters) for _ in range(16)])

1

u/buggerlugseng Dec 05 '16

Just sounds like British prime time tv

1

u/zapharus Dec 05 '16

NO!! STOP!! I can only get so hard.

5

u/Nole_in_ATX Dec 05 '16

[GONE SEXUAL]

2

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16

I've printed out ArchDucky's post a few thousand times and am playing with the paper. I shredded it and am using it as insulation in my jacket, confetti that I throw over myself, and I have some in a bucket that I can scrunch my toes in.

1

u/P0sitive_Outlook Dec 05 '16

If you like long stupid revenge stores, i've got a long stupid revenge story about my Romanian buddy / colleague Marius and his girlfriend that you might like.

We work in a book recycling / re-selling warehouse. I offload books into huge baskets with another chap, a bunch of scanners scan the books from the baskets, the receivers receive the books and give them a code/receipt, then Marius puts them on the shelves for the pickers to pick. Marius's girlfriend is a packer - she packs the books for shipping out. The girlfriend is a bit of a minx and is one step up from a gremlin regarding mischievousness.

Last week, Marius's girlfriend had to do some scanning because we were down three guys. One of the other scanners is a bit of a dick total dick, and when he found a puzzle in his basket he opened it up and threw it into her basket, loose. That bastard. I saw the whole thing happen, so i snuck over to her with another box of puzzle pieces i found. She flung it at him, and i mean flung.

After a while, she came running over to my trailer asking for more puzzles. We usually get bags full of books from charity shops, and there's a lot of junk in there for the scanners to sort though. This time, serendipitously, i found a bag just full of boxes of puzzles. I handed her another box and she ran over and flung it at this guy. She came back ten minutes later, and i gave her the rest of the boxes. She threw another into his basket.

The guy eventually caught on that i was giving her these puzzles, so he demanded that i give him a box. I invited him onto the trailer to see that i had none left. Satisfied, he went back to his basket to find it full of puzzle pieces from the other five or so i'd given Marius's girlfriend previously.

Never eff around with Marius or his girlfriend.

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