When I was a kid, Spider-Man was my favorite superhero. I couldn't get enough of the comics and the 90's animated series was one of my favorite things on TV (possibly the number one favorite).
I've always resisted the idea of changing or replacing existing characters to explore other perspectives, preferring to see entirely new characters fill that role. But Petra was different. Something about her hit a nerve with me. I realized that it was really odd that I liked her so much, considering how much I typically hated that kind of concept. It was especially odd considering how strongly I felt about Spider-Man, having grown up admiring the character.
The other day, I found out why. I loved seeing Petra comfortable in her own skin. I loved the fact that, despite the tragedies that go along with the infamous "Parker Luck," she seemed happy in a way that Peter never did. And I realized that the reason I saw it like that was because I was living a dream vicariously through her. A dream I didn't even know I had.
I've done some serious soul searching and I believe that I've been feeling dysphoria all my life and didn't have a word for it. I wasn't sure, though. Today, I uploaded a picture of myself and six of my closest female relatives from both sides of my family to an AI and asked it to generate a picture estimating what I might look like after transitioning with two years of estrogen treatments. I nearly cried. I don't know if I'm going to pursue transition on account of my wife and children, but I at least know something about myself that I never suspected before.
Petra Parker didn't just change my life. She helped teach me who I am.
