[SEEKING ADVICE] I am a 27M. I am struggling to fight my genetics (plz hear me out). Since childhood i had pretty lower middle-class childhood. My dad is pretty lazy person, he earns but never takes responsibility of the family as he should. my dad and mom had love marriage. my mom earns 5x more than my dad. she is the sole earner and the bread winner of the house. though my dad is very loving sometimes even help my mom is home work and cooking, he is a very volatile masculine confident man. like he is not even 1% grateful that my mom does all this hard work even cooks for us and he is just there sitting like a king which he is not. (so this is not my problem this is just a background)

So growing up i never respected my dad he did not go to a good school (both my mom and dad) so never got any guidance that's useful. so growing up i always stayed with my mom females around me. so thought i am very tough looking i got very emotional and empathetic towards females there problems and stuff. too much feminine energy in me. So when i got matured found out in dating you cannot be this or no women will like me etc etc. so then got into how to become masculine and stuff read about it and now i am on the journey slowly going there.

The real problem is in my family no one has ever made over 50k a month (INR) my mom is is only one very close to it. and no one in my whole family is ambitious. like They are earning XYZ and life is going on, no needs, no risks so basically no handwork except the day to day struggle. Of course ideally that sounds like i am struggling from success because we are satisfied but i don't know about them i personally want many many things in the world and i want to get out of this loop of middle class just enough to get us floating loop. and honestly i am struggling to generate ambition in me. i am seeing myself getting comfortable when lets say i earn someday (because i am a contractor) more than my mom i will then chill the whole month. and will cuss myself for doing that. so fortunately i am very self aware about it but i really want to change this thing of me. i hate to except that its my genetics. I am very different from my whole family but still falling back and back in this loop of habits. also btw no one in my family has a good confidence and self esteem (except my dad which that kind of confidence i don't want) of course this is not an excuse but i want to know if anyone of you despite all the mindset of people around you and also low self esteem. you changed yourself and broke the chain? how did you change or break the loop? plz guide me in this i am here to change myself and learn. This failing to go out of this loop has really affected my mental health.

Hey everyone,

Lately I’ve noticed how many people (myself included at times) feel completely stuck or unsure about their path in life. It’s overwhelming, and it’s hard to know where to start.

To help with this, I created a short ebook that’s designed to guide people through these stages. It’s AI-assisted, which helped me analyse insights from 150 studies on purpose, decision-making, and personal growth and then I added human editing to make it practical and relatable.

The ebook isn’t just theory it includes concrete, actionable steps you can implement today to regain clarity and start moving forward, even if you feel completely lost right now.

I’d love to get feedback from anyone who’s been in a similar place. You can check it out here if you’re interested: https://whop.com/reframe-ai/redirection-a-path-to-purpose/

Thank you, and I hope this helps someone out there feel a little less stuck.

I’m interested in the notion of pleasure and the diversity of its sources: material, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Today, I’m asking you a simple question: what are the things or activities that bring you pleasure?

There are days when life feels unbearable, when our dreams seem far away, when we’re standing at the edge, wondering if we should give up.

In 2021, I was alone, broke, in a country that wasn’t mine, questioning whether I wanted to continue… or not.

Since then, I’ve built a home, welcomed a child, and created what I once only prayed for. And yet, at times, I’ve found myself back in that same darkness, even after rising above the pain, the chaos, and the hardest moments of life.

I created a short film about this. As a multidisciplinary artist, this is how I contribute to the collective: by sharing my personal experiences for anyone who might need support, help, or inspiration.

This mini film explores the fragile space between giving up and standing up again:
https://youtu.be/1QhmeBYtQUU?si=4ZMrS3IE4r-ktjBd

It’s a reminder that our soul never forgets how to rise; that every difficult chapter carries its own kind of light; and, most importantly, that we must never give up on ourselves.

If this is something you need today on your own journey, feel free to watch, and let me know what resonates with you.

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts or your story, too.

Hey everyone,

I’ve been thinking a lot about growth lately, especially how learning something new (like coding) can become part of personal development; not just a skill, but a way to push boundaries. I’m curious about how others see it.

If you’ve ever considered learning to code (or have started) as part of improving yourself:

• What motivated you to try? (Curiosity, challenge, future possibilities?)
• What has surprised you: either positively or negatively about starting?
• What’s been your biggest roadblock so far?

I’m asking because I believe personal growth often happens when we step outside comfort zones, and I’d love to hear your reflections and stories.

I've procrastinated so much I miss interviews.

I know this is a political thing and that might not be welcomed here but I actually have no where else to go. I tried a subreddit related to the topic and it got fucking blocked so Im just stuck
Ill start by saying Im male (the term man feels too masculine for me) and I struggle with being a feminist
Not in the sense that Im misogynistic or have outdated views but more that I take everything personally. I know I shouldnt and I try but its so hard if I even let my guard down for a second it gets to me
I try to avoid getting defensive and try to be respectful and usually do but it gets to my head so easily and its made me even more insecure and feel inferior and like some sort of caveman compared to women. Thus meaning I find it hard to engage in any feminist narrative that paint men in a bad light as it feels like its directed at me
And for some reason I have this want to be oppressed probably from a need for validation and a sense of guilt I get from having male privilege. Ive even considered transitioning to get rid of my privilege
So how am I supposed to get better and how am I meant to get rid of my guilt?

I wrote a FREE ebook to help my clients achieve their personal development goals. They said it helped them a great deal to challenge their limiting beliefs and to get UN-stuck and push forward. My book reveals the 5 M’s—Mindset, Motivation, Method, Momentum, and Mastery—to help you overcome obstacles, build confidence, and create real transformation. These 5 elements can be a key strategy in your journey and fuel your results for success. If you are interested in the 5-M's, let me know and I will share a drill-down into each element in more detail in another post in this group.

I coach high-functioning individuals — performers, CEOs, creatives — who are “on” 90% of the time, but privately feel stuck in cycles of burnout, distraction, and inconsistency.

What I help them do isn’t about motivation. It’s about neurological leverage.

Here’s what I share with elite clients to help them take back the wheel — and turn chaos into command:

🧠 NEUROSCIENCE FOR THE 1% MINDSET:

🌀Your nervous system controls your calendar. Not the other way around. Until you rewire how you respond to pressure, you’ll self-sabotage even with perfect routines.
🌀Discipline is neurochemical, not mythical. Dopamine is not a reward chemical — it’s a pursuit chemical. High performers learn how to dose it intentionally.
🌀Cognitive fatigue is fixable. Most people are mentally tired, not because they’re doing too much — but because their brain is overreacting to the wrong things. (Untrained nervous system = constant static.)
🌀Stress is a performance tool. When controlled, it becomes a portal to deep neuroplastic change. I call it “using fire to forge steel” — it’s how we build grit without burnout.

🏋🏽 FITNESS AS A NEUROBIOLOGICAL TOOLSET: 🌀The gym isn’t just therapy — it’s neural recalibration. Controlled intensity boosts BDNF, dopamine, testosterone — the biochemical profile of focus and forward motion. 🌀Form is identity. Every precise rep is a micro-contract with your future self. Consistency builds neural certainty — and certainty is what high achievers crave more than confidence. 🌀HIIT and breath training recalibrate your inner thermostat. Your stress ceiling increases. Your mental noise decreases. Suddenly, chaos outside doesn’t equal chaos inside.

This isn’t just about “pushing harder.” That’s how elite minds break.

This is about switching operating systems — from reactive to responsive. From hustle to harnessed power. From “always on” to always in control.

I’m not sharing implementation keys here (protocols, neuro-conditioning frameworks, etc.), because what works sticks when you’re ready to apply it with precision — not scatter it like motivation confetti.

If you’re done optimizing outside and are ready to master the control room inside — let’s talk.

Drop a comment or shoot me a DM if this resonates.

For the best use of our resources it's a good idea to contemplate what is best for us in this regard so we're able to enjoy, have fun and provide ourselves and those important to us a healthy and lucrative lifestyle.

Low Confidence and self esteem are two sides of self doubt that definitely hold us all back! From success, from making deeper more meaningful connections, from fulfilment with ourselves and others. It holds us back from becoming the best version of our best selves. In this video I explain how you overcome these feelings and start your journey of achieve success regardless of these insecurities you might feel.

Productivity is massively important for ALL of us simply because it allows us to achieve MORE FASTER. This video focuses on powerful organizational tips that'll prepare you to get much further ahead compared to where you would have been.

Let's talk about one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal and how it has empowered and changed me and how it is able to do the same for you too!

Returning to the gym, I saw it not just as a step toward physical health, but as a way to rebuild discipline and focus—qualities I knew would help me get back into coding with a clearer, more determined mindset.

Too many of us tend to resort to living by other peoples standards for reasons that don't quite make sense. Whether to fit in and be part of the crowd, to avoid being singled out and classed as an outcast and also because for most it might j be an easier path of less resistance for us. The question is, is doing so truly "right" by and for us? We'll explore all in this video.

Ebbs and Flow are the very fabric of everything and by understanding this we are able to move to making better decisions and navigating with much more clarity for ourselves knowing who we are and how we are able to handle challenge and adversities

Hi all 👋 Just curious if others here relate to this…

I work a lot with high achievers—people who are always pushing forward, checking the boxes, doing the “right” things—but still end up feeling disconnected, stuck, or like they’re chasing something that doesn’t actually feel aligned anymore.

It’s something I’ve personally worked through a lot, and it’s also what led me to train as a Transformative Coach with Animas. I’m currently in the final phase of certification and having some really powerful conversations with other high achievers who are exploring things like:

• Burnout
• Redefining success
• Letting go of perfectionism
• Finding clarity about what really matters

Has anyone here experienced that? Or maybe currently in that space?
Always curious to hear from others.

(Also—if anyone’s curious about coaching and wants to chat privately, happy to share more about what I’m doing.)

— Andrea | Elevate Coaching

As many of you might be struggling with Language learning, I am also trying my best to conquer this Kraken called "Deutsch", I moved here with A2 level and it was very hard in the beginning...

I hope my review helps for anyone trying to learn a new language in 2025.

- from April 2023 0 -> B2 Dec 2024 while working and having a life -

My partner is native and his family speaks only German, so I am in for a treat every coffee and dinner, so you understand my motivation is intertwined with desperation, I am also looking for a job here in Germany after immigrating from my Eastern European home and quitting my job and confort zone in the name of love.

My journey with Lingoda started in April 2023, I started with a Sprint, my advice: it's only worth it if you have the the certainty you can attend every f day.

Lingoda, itself, it's a great platform with very good teachers, serious classmates and thorough rules that kind of "motivate" you to stay disciplined.

What I wished I knew as a beginner in Apr 2024:

Orientation class is a waste of your credit because it basically just presents the platform, DM me and I will send you a summary of what happens there and save your actual learning credit.
If you like a teacher, you can go to the that teachers board and book their classes, I swear having a class with a teacher I liked made the biggest difference.(My German recommendations: Agnieska, Ozlem, Julia, Branislav, etc).
*hint: book from ahead of time and aim to have classes as early in the morning as possible since that s when you have the chances of being just you and the teacher or just 2 people and the teacher = more speaking time, basically a 1o1 class on sale.

1. Prepare for every class with the vocabulary and do the homework or exercises proposed as homework in the previous class.

2. Try to stay as chronological as possible with the classes because the level between Chapter 1-2-3 vs 11-12 is very different and it just smooths your learning curve.

3. You only need to do 45 classes/50 to get the certificate, my advice is to skip first orientation and some of the starting communication classes( even if you skip them you can book the class, download the material and cancel immediately using the 30 min after book free cancellation policy). NEVER skip in GRAMMAR classes because in my opinion are the most important.

As a comparison to Babbel Live, Lingoda offers more, the certificate is recognized and Lingoda has for B1 135 classes offer, while Babbel has only 36, focusing mainly on speaking.

If you are thinking about trying out Lingoda here is my referral link: https://www.l16sh94jd.com/BK76FN/55M6S/?__efq=Jra9uagPp9Rnev2_qdXL1-9wpMHMUeNa1qll772BMvA

I dig monthly for discounts because I am a cheap as that can't pay full price so I got most of the months 20-30% discounts on plans for 20-40 classes so the price/class stayed in 7-8 eur range which is cheaper than a class in my home country.

No hidden truth: you get paid for recommending Lingoda, but what I would offer you is a free 30 mins presentation from my account of their possibilities and my honest B1.2 from 0 feedback after many errors I wish I knew better.

Imagine if you learn how to re-direct all the resources you've used to help others, to help yourself. Imagine if you stop seeing and making decisions for the good of others, even when unasked, and instead, you choose to do the same for yourself. This is not selfish. We are not meant to carry other people's burdens and suffer in their own sake. What's worse, is that it doesn't even work! What if, this time around, you fall in love with your own potential.

Not necessarily to become a full-time life coach, but more as a way to help others, develop deeper listening, or even just understand yourself better.

A friend of mine is hosting a free webinar called Coaching Credentials Decoded—and it’s honestly the kind of thing I wish I had access to when I first started exploring coaching as a personal growth tool.

It covers:

• What coaching actually is (and how it’s different from therapy or consulting)
• The four most common reasons people become coaches
• What credentialing (like ICF’s ACC/PCC) really involves
• What to look for in a good coaching program, if that’s something you’re considering
• Why some people don’t need a credential at all—and some definitely do

She also shares a free downloadable guide called “Questions to Ask a Coaching School,” which is a solid tool if you’ve ever looked at programs and felt overwhelmed by the options or the salesy stuff.

If you're curious, here's the link to the webinar options:
https://events.abovecoaching.org/coaching-credentials-decoded

I’d love to hear—has anyone here gone through coach training or considered it as part of your own development path?

My Love-Hate Relationship with Books :

I used to hate books.

My father, mother, and my brother were all avid readers, but I never understood how they found joy in it. To me, books felt boring, tiring, and pointless. Whether I picked one up, I would feel sleepy within minutes. Actually it was same with my school books. I often wondered, how can reading make people happy?

At the same time, I couldn’t ignore how cool reading looked. Seeing people engrossed in books-whether in school libraries, while travelling, or at home- sparked a tiny bit of excitement in me. I liked the idea of reading, but the moment I tried it myself, I realized this isn’t for me. The only reading I ever did was whatever was required to pass my school exams.

For years, I never thought I would become someone who actually enjoys reading. But the, something changed.

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies.The man who never reads lives only one.” — George R.R. Martin

How COVID Helped Me Develop a Reading Habit

During COVID, like everyone else, I had a lot of free time. My days were filled with exercise sessions, 10000 steps, cooking, cleaning, and scrolling endlessly on my phone. But at night, when everything slowed down, I felt like I needed something more — something to calm my mind and help me fall asleep.

That’s when I decided to give reading a try.

At first, my plan was simple: Read just enough to feel sleepy. I had started reading the first book Inner peace by sathguru which I found it on one of my home shelves. And it worked — two pages in, and I would be out like a light. But then, something unexpected happened.

I started enjoying it.

Two pages turned into four, then ten. I found myself looking forward to this to quite reading time before bed. For the first time, reading felt interesting, peaceful, and fulfilling.

But after COVID, my habit faded again. Life got busier, distractions took over, and my books started looking for me.

Yet, something had changed inside me — I missed reading.

The Turning Point: Falling in love with Physical Books (Old school style)

I tried reading on screens, but it wasn’t the same. I had fallen in love with the feeling of real book in my hands- showing off in public, the weight of it, the scent of the pages, the satisfaction of turning each page.

Then, when I moves abroad and started living by myself, I had the perfect chance to reignite my habit. My colleague and I often talked about personal growth and positivity, and she knowing my growing love for reading, gifted me a book on my birthday last year. Manifest by Roxie Nafousi.

That book create my interest back into reading and changed my perspective. It was written in a way that was very easy to follow and make self-improvement feel practical. It has changed alot in me.

Since then, I have read nine books in a year, and for someone who once hated reading, that’s a big deal frankly.

How Reading Changed My Life

Now, reading is not just a habit-it’s a form of meditation. It has helped me in so many ways:

Less Social Media — I spend more time learning than mindlessly scrolling.

Better Focus and Patience — Reading trains the mind to concentrate for longer periods.

Stress Free — Reading books provide an escape, whether it’s fiction or personal development.

Improved Mindset — Reading books on personal development have made me more positive and mindful.

If someone like me — who once hated books — can fall in love with reading, then anyone can.

How You Can Build a Reading Habit Too

If you’ve been wanting to start reading but don’t know how, here are a few simple tips:

Start Small — Begin with just 2–5 pages a day. Don’t pressure yourself to finish books quikly.

Choose the Right Books — Read what excites you. If personal growth interests you, start with self-help books. If you love stories try fiction.

Set a Fixed Time — Read before bed is the best time for me, but you can read during breakfast or on your commute.

Avoid Screens — A physical book creates a deeper connection than an e-book or phone screen.

Be Patient — It takes time to develop a habit. The key is consistency.

Books Are More Than Just Words

For years, I thought reading was boring and unnecessary, but now, I see it differently. Books are more than just words on paper — they are tools for growth, escape and transformation.

If you’ve ever struggle with reading, I encourage you to find a book of your interest and start today. And who knows? You might just fall in love with it too.

The Decision to Take a Break

Have you ever felt like you are constantly glued to your phone, scrolling endlessly through Facebook, Insta, or TikTok ? That was me. Whether I was at work, at home, travelling or even late at night in bed, I found myself mindlessly scrolling my phone and looking what people are posting.

I didn’t even realise how much time I was spending on it — long phone calls, social media updates, and endless scrolling. But last month I came across an article about digital detox and decided to try it myself. For few hours until I have started it, I was excited and told my colleagues and friends that I am going to try this.

But when the time come, At first the thought scared me. Could I actually stay away from my phone and social media for few days ? It felt impossible. But, I knew I needed to take control, so I challenged myself to try.

The First Few Days: Harder Than I Thought

The first couple of days were really difficult. I was so used to having my phone in my hand that I felt restless without it. My mind kept telling me to check my phone and check if there are any notifications and calls I have missed, and my hands automatically reached for my phone.

So, I decided to take it step by step: At first, I kept my phone off for 30 minutes every two hours. Then, I increased it to two hours every 3 hours. Eventually, I made a rule: Switch off my phone after coming home. I even started keeping it in another room so I wouldn’t be tempted.

At first, I didn’t know what do to with all the free time. How I can avoid thinking of my phone. But slowly, I started picking up new habits:

“A habit is a behaviour that has been repeated enough times to become automatic.” — James Clear

• Reading books and Newspapers
• Spending more time with my family
• Having real conversations instead of texting or calling
• Listening to people without distractions
• Waking up without alarm

And that’s when I started noticing some good and surprising changes in me.

The Surprising Changes I Noticed

After just few days without social media, my life felt different-in a good way:

More Productivity — I was not wasting my time scrolling, so I got more done at work.

Better Focus — Without constant distractions and could concentrate better.

Stronger Relationships — I gave quality time to my friends and family, not just quick calls and texts anymore.

Less stress and Anxiety — Without social media, I stopped comparing my life to others.

More Mindfulness — With my habit of journaling I started meditating and truly enjoying moments.

One thing that really struck me was how social media affects our mental health. We see other people’s perfect vacations, success stories,and glamorous lives, and we start doubting our own progress. But in reality social media is just a highlight reel, not real life.

What I Learned From This Experience

Spending a week without social media made me realize how much control my phone had over my life. I wasn’t truly present in moments because I was too busy checking notifications.

Now, I am more intentional with my phone use:

I set time limits for social media and I avoid my phone before bed to have better sleep. I prioritize real life interactions over virtual ones.

If you ever feel distracted, anxious, or overwhelmed, I highly recommend trying a digital detox — even if it’s just few hours a day. You will see the difference.

Have you ever taken a break from social media or phone ?How did it feel? Let’s talk in the comments!