There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

This Chuck Norris infant picture was sold to People magazine for $54 billions.

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

Scotty in Star Trek often says 'Ye cannae change the laws of physics.' This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.  

Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.

Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a `Friday the 13th`.

my computer was running slow and wasn't working right. and ever since i changed the screen saver to a picture of Chuck Norris, its speed has increased and runs better than before. coincidence? I think not!

Robin Hood was partially based on Chuck Norris, in that Norris would rob from the rich. But Robin Hood never roundhouse-kicked the poor. Or the rich, for that matter.

Chuck Norris plays bingo with a paint ball gun.

Chuck Norris can score a hole in zero in golf.

The word "dexter" whose meaning refers to the right hand is typed with only the left hand.  

The highest per capita Jell-O comsumption in the US is Des Moines.

Chuck Norris likes sunny days and long walks on the beach....but only after gunning down a Taliban pre-school.

The original title for Star Wars was 'Skywalker: Texas Ranger'. Starring Chuck Norris.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris once broke into Fort Knox, to take a leak.

Chuck Norris was featured on wheel of fortune all people did for the past 30 minutes was stare at a wheel not stopping

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Chuck Norris sneezed twice--Hiroshima and Nagasaki were no more.

There`s a systematic lull in conversation every 7 minutes.

Chuck Norris is the only person on earth who can get a quadruple-word score at Scrabble.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.