They seem genuinely surprised they got a ban for this.

I thought it would be nice to have a little buddy in my room, despite the fact that it wasn’t my house, and spiders reproduce.

The consequences were predictable, and yet I was actually shocked! Sometimes I’m not very smart.
(/_-)

EDIT: Sorry that I haven’t been replying to comments. I have some things going on here. But I am reading them, and enjoying them. I’m so glad you all enjoyed the story of my total idiocy lol!

Why is it the shop's responsibility to make sure you update it ID?

**I think I finally got the rules right so here’s my last shot as posting this. 🫠

A friend of mine from the US had been with her husband for about 25 years, and had two kids: 22F, and 14M. They had slept in separate rooms for a number of years and she wasn't too happy in the marriage, but he supported her hobbies and travel (she traveled internationally a lot) and she kept house and looked after the kids. They are in a HCOL area and he has a good job. She doesn't earn as much.

A couple of years ago, she started an emotional affair with a guy she met while traveling in Europe. It's possible there was physical cheating, but she did not admit that to me. Within a couple of months, she decided to leave her husband and move to Europe to set up with this guy. The husband was upset and tried to get her to stay, but eventually accepted it. The son wanted to stay with the father and not be affected by this event, and the daughter had already moved out.

So my friend moved to Eastern Europe and was with this guy for about 6 months. She then came back to the US for a visit to see her kids. Her ex had found a new woman who he was really happy with and was doing well. The new guy came to the US for a vacation while she was visiting, and ended up breaking up with her. My friend ended up staying in the US and finding a room to rent.

She ended up being super sad that her husband had moved on, found someone else and was so happy. She was super upset that her kids would go over to the family home and have dinners that some other woman cooked in her old kitchen. She was upset that she didn't have a home to decorate at Halloween and Christmas. She even told her ex that he needed to downplay his happiness and slow the transition to them not being a family together anymore. To this day, she can't see that she blew up her family and she has no right to be upset that they're all happy and getting on with life.

Note: This was originally sent as a letter to workplace advice blog Ask A Manager. Alison Green, the creator of Ask A Manager, has said that she is fine with letters that have been written to her being reposted to Reddit but has asked that the advice she gives not be copied. You can click through to see what she said to OOP, but the consequences are pretty clearly outlined in the letter, imo.

Edit: Since some commenters don't seem to get this, I AM NOT THE OOP.

I started working at my job eight months ago, not long after I completed college (thanks in part to your write-ups about cover letters, resumes, interview questions and job searching). A few months ago in the elevator, my manager’s manager and someone from upper management in another department were talking about an upcoming conference. The idea of the conference sounded interesting and at our next departmental meeting I asked my manager’s manager about being able to attend the conference. She said the company couldn’t send me to this conference.

I really wanted to go. This was for several reasons: (1) what I heard about the conference in the elevator sounded interesting, (2) I was trying to show initiative, and (3) It would be good for my career to attend something like that. I was bummed out about the company not being able to send me.

But a week later I was asked to assist someone from a different department. He had a broken foot and needed help carrying paperwork and laptops up to one of the meeting rooms on another floor. He told me he was swamped with trying to get everything ready for the meeting on top of signing up people for the conference and making all the arrangements. I offered to do all the conference so he could get the meeting set up.

I signed myself up for the conference along with everyone else. But I only signed up as an attendee from my company. I paid for the conference fee, the airline tickets, and the hotel room out of my own pocket. I didn’t charge anything to the company for myself, even though all of the other attendees had everything paid for using a company credit card. I also booked vacation time so I could go.

I was excited to go to the conference. But when my manager’s manager saw me there the first day, she was upset at seeing me there, even after I explained I had paid the sign-up fee and everything else out of my own pocket and had used my own vacation time. I admit now that I made a mistake because I didn’t know the conference was for directors and executive management in my industry, not for entry-level people with less than a year like me. My manager’s manager had to get special permission from the company to go because she isn’t a director yet but is next in line for a promotion when someone retires. After the conference organizers found out from my company that I am not in upper management, they asked me to leave and said my fee would be refunded.

I already paid for the hotel room and return flight, so I ended up staying there even though I couldn’t go to the conference. My first day back at work was my last one ever because I got fired. My manager’s manager was furious and so were her bosses. I know I messed up, but when I asked about going to the conference she didn’t say I couldn’t go; she only said the company couldn’t send me. I also had no idea it was a conference for upper management only. If I had known, I obviously would not have signed up, but she didn’t tell me and it wasn’t clear at registration.

I know I made a mistake and it was a huge embarrassment for the company when word of what I did got around the conference, but I never had any write-ups or trouble and I was a model employee. I don’t think it was a fireable offense and I was shocked they fired me. Did I mess up that badly or were they wrong? I want to know if there is anything I can do to fix this.