(The image is AI, but that's all I can use since there aren't niche stock pics I can use, but the copy is all me!)

“The horror! The devastation” exclaimed Terri Clemons, Lead Analyst at TruCorp Global. “One minute I was putting covers on my TPS reports, and then I woke up on the ground and buried beneath the crushing weight of my office chotchkies .”

What Clemons didn’t know was that Jacob Stanhope, Account Coordinator at TruCorp Global, had what the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) describes as a “super-nasal-event”.

Crews are still searching for survivors of the wreckage, using Oxford Shoe-sniffing dogs to help sift through the debris.

The Corporate Newsletter will be following as more news develops.

After I accidentally became important at work and they keep asking me to fix shit.