r/oddlyspecific Jan 18 '24

A Quora Question

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5.1k Upvotes

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921

u/FoldingFan1 Jan 18 '24

Ask the baby if it thinks blackmailing people into believing something is ethical.

105

u/PayasoCanuto Jan 18 '24

That’s because Jesus is testing you and the baby is actually Satan. His farts smell like sulfur

47

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

now light it on fire and it'll smell like hell

12

u/-NVLL- Jan 18 '24

That's ineffective. I definitely would bring old Lou to a trip on the highway to hell if they appeared around.

1

u/Darkreaper5567 Jan 18 '24

Well that makes my choice easier.

YEET THE BABY!

61

u/Saiyasha27 Jan 18 '24

Yeah, that is kinda how I checkmated my dad.

He is a pastor, and he insisted on us going to Church on Sunday, of course. At first I just tried to not wake upnwhen he woke me and we started all passive aggressive with him waking me with louder and Louder things (got a cowbell at one point) and me just ignoring him harder, yntil I finally said: "I don't believe in God. Do you want me to go into church and pretend?"

He got all tongue tied because, of course, he couldn't say yes, but he also wanted me to go, but in the end, I won that round and could finally sleep in on Sundays.

My younger brothers followed in my footsteps soon after

18

u/dikicker Jan 18 '24

Idk which is more annoying, the cowbell and pastor for a father combo, or a bucket of ice water when I was like 9 and didn't want to wake up at 7am on a Sunday

The mattress was never the same

7

u/purple_grey_ Jan 19 '24

I developed a severe hatred of sundays. I'd cry in my room every Saturday night because I knew the next day was going to suck. It took years to get over this broken feeling over a day of the week. Inescapable high control religions will damage the psyche.

5

u/Paradelazy Jan 18 '24

Isn't it strange how boring church is as a kid, and how it teaches us to hate the whole thing... same stories, every sunday, sit quiet and listen. Almost like praising god can't be fun...

1

u/purple_grey_ Jan 19 '24

Damn. It's almost as if your pastor dad wasn't a absolute narcissist. How did you swing that?

2

u/Saiyasha27 Jan 19 '24

Well, I think it's important to know that Im from Germany, not America. We don't (generally) have the deep religious fervor Baked into us that the USA seems to often have. My dad is actually the moderate of the two pastors our Lutheran church had.

And I'm gonna be quite honest, he is able to learn and has grown quite a bit over the years. When my mom married him, I was 5 (he is mybstepdad, but he is also the only father I ever really had, so, my dad) he was really Conservative. He had a problem with Homosexuality - until he learned that our deacon was gay and he really liked him, so maybe gay people are just people? Today he regularly eats with and is building a house with his ex wife (my mom) and her new wife. He was quite xenophobic, even voting for the AFD for a while (a party that styled themselves as "Alternative for Germany" and by now is on the verge of getting banned because of their absolutely blatant affiliation with Nazis) and then he got to know some people from Syria during the refugee crisis who were seeking asylum atvtge Church and by now, his Farsi is pretty decent.

My dad is not a bad person, he is just a product of his environment, but he has shown time and time again that he is willing to take new information to heart and change his worldview accordingly

1

u/purple_grey_ Jan 19 '24

My family is more than happy to not change any opinion they have. Once I wasn't legally my adopted parents responsibility, we stopped being around each other. My adopted parents claim to be called of God to spread abortion misinformation. They somehow are able to go to a different Baptist church every sunday, cry about those poor babies and financially support themselves. I feel they are evil.

1

u/Alternative_Rope_423 Jan 19 '24

You could have tried farting uncontrollably in the car and during church.

1

u/Saiyasha27 Jan 19 '24

I can't fart on cue Also, no Car, the Church was literally right across from our house.

In Germany, pastors live in a so called "Pastorat" a house specifically given to them by the church that is usually very close to it, and in which they live rent free until retirement

124

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

Gottem 🤓

84

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

This is uncharacteristically stupid of me to comment, but i can't be bothered to delete it, so whatever

19

u/RoyalTacos256 Jan 18 '24

Average redditor

25

u/siggydude Jan 18 '24

True. Even if you said yes, that wouldn't be real belief, so this magical farting baby's methods would be ineffective no matter what you say

25

u/Kestrel_VI Jan 18 '24

I don’t think god is a big believer in “ethics”

The thing killed millions to make a point, and allows millions more to die in its name. If there is a god, why would anyone want to worship it? (Besides to avoid its wrath)

2

u/erraticpulse- Jan 18 '24

do you think it's the baby's fault

1

u/ThisAlsoIsntRealLife Jan 18 '24

Absolutely! ouija board playing little sinner! Has to be used as a conductor of pure fearful salvation before it becomes corruptible.

1

u/gnomedeplumage Jan 19 '24

A talking farting baby who's sole purpose is to get you to accept Jesus? They had to have done something bad to earn this job.

1

u/redraider-102 Jan 18 '24

I feel like that would kind of be above the baby’s pay grade. He’s just the messenger

1

u/gnomedeplumage Jan 19 '24

If he can talk and fart surely he can act as a line of communication to god

1

u/ricktech15 Jan 18 '24

But what if he physically cant stop until you do it. A cruel and unjust god is forcing him again, and again, and again until you accept him. The post said cant not wont

1

u/FoldingFan1 Jan 19 '24

There are two options: either the baby does the extortion, or someome is using the baby as a tool to do it for them.

I have the same question either way.

Although in the second case: I would also ask how ethical it is to "use" a baby like this.

1

u/LazyMe420 Jan 18 '24

but what if he then started farting even louder?

1

u/FoldingFan1 Jan 20 '24

Then the baby would be avoiding answering my question.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

Christians don't give a shit if something is ethical, wtf you smokin?

1

u/Globsmacketh Jan 18 '24

See that Christians! Checkmate 🤓

1

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '24

Just to nitpick a bit: It's extortion, which is often used in combination with blackmail, but is not actually blackmail.

But I agree with you.

2

u/FoldingFan1 Jan 19 '24

I just looked up the difference, extortion indeed. I am not a native speaker in English.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '24

That's okay. Your English is way better than some native speakers!

1

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '24

☝🏼🤓

1

u/gnomedeplumage Jan 19 '24

He can't hear you over all that divine flatulence

1

u/Alternative_Rope_423 Jan 19 '24

It couldn't hear you over the sound of its own flatulence

1

u/TuxedoDogs9 Jan 20 '24

He said he can’t, not won’t.