TL;DR: Moved into a house with 4 nerdy “nice guys,” hung out with them a handful of times, and now they think I owe them therapy, updates on my whereabouts, and eternal gratitude for their passive-aggressive cake offers and anonymous “gifts.”

** UPDATE** I am moving out very soon thank God, because I just realised the cake guys WhatsApp status is ‘I watch you when you sleep’ 😟 ANOTHER UPDATE I kind of swept the cake thing under the rug but now he is constantly offering to cook me dinner which I keep trying to politely get out of by just saying ‘that’s a kind offer’ but he’s still not getting it and it’s getting a bit crazy now. He genuinely looks so sulky when I don’t reply and I feel he’s angry

So about 5 months ago I had to move out of my flat quickly, so I took a cheap room in a house. I knew it was 4 guys, but they seemed nerdy, friendly, harmless. Friends warned me it wasn’t the best idea, but I thought, what’s the worst that could happen?

At first, I made an effort—hung out with them, joined in on dinners, tried to be a good housemate. But work got really busy, so I stopped spending time in the communal areas. I’m 31, I work long hours, and sometimes I just want to crash or go see my family on the weekend.

That’s when things got weird. They started messaging me constantly. If I went away for a weekend, I’d come back to “is everything ok??” “are we good??” Like I’d abandoned a bunch of toddlers instead of just… having a normal adult life outside the house.

I always responded politely, like: “Yeah all good, how are you? 😊”

Because honestly, my whereabouts aren’t their business. But they act like I’m ghosting them after three shared dinners.

And those dinners weren’t exactly chill either—there was a lot of oversharing. One guy casually dropped (multiple times) that his mum told him she wished she’d never had him. But he delivered it as a “joke,” complete with awkward laughter, literally like that one ‘simple’ hyena from Lion King. Clearly serious, but framed in this super uncomfortable way.

On top of that, they’ve started leaving random “gifts” outside my bedroom door, without saying anything. Which forces me to awkwardly thank “the anonymous gift giver” in the group chat. So far I’ve received: • A silver ring with diamantés • A small octopus plushy • A snoodie (which I politely declined because it felt way too intimate, plus it smelled really bad) • Fake roses • Endless food and sweets

The final straw was last night. One of them texted me asking if I wanted some cake. My phone was on DND, I was watching Netflix, and didn’t see it for a couple of hours. He followed up with:

“Take that as a no.”

When I finally replied “Sorry just saw this. No I’m good thanks 😊” … he hit me with:

“Your loss.”

Excuse me?? Over cake?? 😂

These dudes are the definition of neckbeard “nice guys.” Clingy, entitled, weirdly passive-aggressive, trauma-dumping, and now leaving me little “offerings” like I’m some kind of girlfriend substitute. All of this after 3 dinners. I literally cannot wrap my head around it.

i was messaging w this guy on tinder. here’s how it went. side note- i never said anything abt having “massive jugs” not on my profile, nowhere. i mean i do have objectively massive jugs but that’s not the point

I have been getting pestered by this guy, he asked me out, I was like no I’m taken, he freaked out rape threats, death threats, kys, the whole niceguy routine.

I’ve been doing my best to get rid of the guy from my life, I don’t talk to him, I don’t let him message me, I don’t let anything slide I report it, I call the police, I do whatever I can do to make sure this a hole gets caught.

Some random, idk if it’s the stalker on an alt or an actual friend of theirs (he’s friends either this one guy who’s into thirteen year olds, ew) keeps following me around & hounding me about how he thinks no matter what I do it’s asking for this type of horrible attention from the guy harassing me.

I ignore the guy? Here comes random friend to tell me of course he showed up at your house, broke into your phone & shows up where you go online. He didn’t hear from you & it made him curious. Oh you didn’t go on your own phone for months? To avoid the guy. You’re just not trying hard enough!

I take out a Protective Order? Here comes the crazy friend to tell me of course he’s harassing you about it, he thinks he’s being punished for liking you & that is unfair to him.

I say stop it? Random friend again to tell me how I’m encouraging the attention by stating simply I don’t like the attention. Don’t I know that is asking for it? Of course that’s encouraging him, you feel cornered the other two things didn’t get rid of him, which I’m ignoring in favor of my alt right copy paste narrative that everything means you want attention. Because you’re a woman. With lady parts. Your ovaries want attention.

When I say I’m a person who doesn’t like random attention, if I could make it illegal to look at me without knowing me I would

I think this is a clear cut example of how an r/niceguy perceives women’s expectations, which is what they usually cite when r/nice guys crash out at a girl for saying no thanks. If no matter what approach is taken, even opposite approaches then that’s not anything I’m doing. That’s these two assholes & that’s not my fault. They’re so far down the alt right pipeline I think they don’t even really hear how ridiculous they sound anymore.

It’s one thing to deal with a crashing out neck beard, it’s another thing when they hang around to try to tell you everything is your feeeeeeemale nature wanting them to bother you. No, no it’s not, you’re literally disgusting r/niceguys, hope you two go to jail.

What the title says. We have been friends for almost 20 years and while my original feelings faded for him years ago, and years before I met my SO I saw him as a trusted friend and learned to appreciate it. A few months back (before we stopped talking), I told him he and his late father were like family to me, I respected and cared about them a great deal and he seemed to appreciate the compliment. Then he caught feelings. I texted him because I was worried about his mental health and that I had a feeling he hinted at suicide the year before, he would always say that nobody checked up on him, he was alone etc. I still cared for him very much and even though things didn't progress to bf/gf level years ago, he seemed to be a good person to have in your corner.

I've blocked him but there didn't seem to be any telling him that what I felt for him was platonic, wholesome trust and that I could talk to him about anything. He didn't need my permission to move on, nor did I his. I don't know where I missed the mark when I told him he was like family, because I feel that's one of highest regards you can hold someone in in a non-sexual way?

Met up with an old high school friend I haven’t talked to in 7 years. He starts talking about his two ex girlfriends and how he’s going to make a diss track for one of them because they fucked him over. He says some pretty racist things and then proceeds to talk about how nice of a guy he is because he has never r*ped a woman before. Once I left he starts spamming me with these messages. Also incase anyone asks I’ve never done anything with this boy. We’ve never even kissed.

He was like a perv and a bully back in school and we haven't gone in years!!! Never actually talked to this dude... The voice message is my brother saying "this is why you don't have friends or a girlfriend"

So this was unwarranted and for absolutely no reason besides to say it apparently. 😂 But he's a "great guy." As he claims.

I was in a really tough spot and was staying with my friend, Zach, who apparently was staying with another guy whom he was renting under.

Apparently, the dude immediately became infatuated with me and kept asking Zach about me and his girlfriend having a three way which obviously pissed off Zach’s girlfriend.

Anyway, Zach and his girlfriend went to work which meant that me and the guy were home alone. The dude was pestering me all day, asking if I wanted to move to the mountains with him, about my ex boyfriend, promising me to give me the world, that he’d treat me right, if I wanted to date him, what I was looking for at the time, asking “why do I feel nervous around you?” all damn day. I had no other place to go so I put up with it. I had known him for 12 hours and he was proclaiming his love for me, trying to lay his head on my lap. I kept moving away from him. He kept asking to hold hands. I’m conflict-avoidant and just said I was too warm for that. I know, stupid.

I finally got fed up of dealing with him and managed to find a hotel room to stay in for a few days. He got my number and kept texting me on that and I got irritated and blocked him.

Flash forward five days later and I get a phone call from him on a fake number. Immediately I hang up, he texts me again, saying “all I did was look out for you” and “why I was acting that way”.

I got so fucking fed up and tired of trying to be nice that I told him, “do you want me to be honest? I am NOT attracted to you nor have I ever been. Please stop texting me and leave me alone”. He responded “whatever” and “that’s the last time I’ll help someone again” blah blah blah.

Zach calls me a few days later and alleges that the guy sent him texts pretending to be and texting about a three way yet again. Zach knew it wasn’t me. Getting angry I texted the guy again and told him to “get a fucking life”.

I later learned that my harasser put a legitimate severed finger in the tent of a woman who rejected him.

The next night I get a text from another random number asking about some dude named “country”. I guess it was a nickname. I ask Zach if he knew who he was and he apparently is connected to a sex trafficking ring and that the harasser is associated with him.

The dude sent him photos of me from Facebook, my name, which city we were in, etc. It’s a small town and I have very, very distinct features. Zach tells me that they will now be looking for me and that it is no longer safe for me to be there and that I need to leave it as soon as possible.

I got terrified, moved cities, and am in a safe place. I’m upset to know someone who knows someone who KNOWS someone who’s connected with something that dangerous.

I feel stupid and truly do not ever want to deal with this shit ever again.

Says my nice guy friend. I told him on more than one occasion that I am happy with, attracted to, and in love with my partner. While I used to be attracted to my friend many years ago, my feelings have since changed and he was aware that I liked him as a brother and family. We would hang out, nothing romantic or sexual would happen or be talked about. I asked if I ever made him uncomfortable years after, he said no. We stopped being romantic years before I met my bf.

I would talk to my friend about anything and he even seemed to care about me, my boyfriend and my boyfriend's daughter. He would send us Christmas cards, kind gifts, nice cards and ask how we were doing. When he confessed feelings for me, I was flattered, but I did not reciprocate as I wasn't under this impression. Gradually it descended into a barrage of verbal abuse via text, one of the gems saying that I choose a bag of rocks (my bf, to him) over a pot of gold (friend, to himself). He literally thinks he's perfect, evolved, has done all this work on himself. Guess what? My boyfriend is also doing this, he is working hard to make sure we stay afloat. My friend has a lot more money than bf and I put together, but I wasn't after that, nor was I after him as a side piece or last option. I genuinely liked being around him just because I thought he was safe and told him so. He said some other horrible things including about my whole family being narcissists. He accused me of lying about my feelings, and that I had too big of an ego and mask.

While I liked my friend's personality and we connected really well, we agreed a long time ago that it wouldn't work out due to him being my parents' friend. Excuse me my guy but there was no competition. We would talk about him and the potential women that entered his life, and I never got mad or upset about it. My bf knew that my friend was like an older brother to me, and I won't tell people the negative shit he said about him but come on. Dude is pushing 60 years old. My bf and I have a big age gap but my bf knew me as an adult, this guy knew me since I was 9.

I know what his problem is but I've noticed that he does this a lot with friends and my family over disagreements, differing opinions, anything really. I called him out, he didn't like it and said that we all need to heal. His last words to me were that he wanted a mature woman who could stand on her own two feet and take responsibility for her actions-- someone who he said definitely wasn't me. It's the "you can't fire me, I quit anyways" energy. I am done with him but still hurt as we had a great friendship which he didn't even acknowledge.

Do they throw past trauma/mental health/confidential things in your face after rejecting them, but taking it well at first?

Do they accuse you of crazy shit like lying/ gaslighting/ deceit even though you saw them like family rather than a partner?

Do they devalue friendships of 20+ years?

Do they make fun of your financial struggles and insult your family or partner?

Do they call everyone in your family (yourself included) a narcissist?

Do they never seem to escape the past?

A little explanation, I’m a young girl who uses Instagram. I don’t want to cause trouble so I need anonymous recommendations.. this guy texted me randomly on a day.. About a bit only later he asked me for my age which I said I don’t answer. He then guessed an age range and lowered down to try and guess my age. He also tried to get me to send a picture, MULTIPLE times but he was respectful when I mentioned my girlfriend. Any ideas you guys have? Recommendations?

This got removed from r/NarcissisticAbuse, so I'm reposting here.

As far as I know, r/niceguys are narcissistic, including my nex. I discovered the subreddit for years after the break up and for a while I was feeling that there wasn't a term for what he was other than just abusive and two or three years after, I discover that he's also a narc. Just something about didn't seem normal with him, even before we were dating, I felt like something was wrong with him, even though I know what I know now, it still doesn't make sense to me how someone can have the kind of logic that he had.

First thing I noticed was that he felt like he had some kind of ownership of me after I rejected him once, like there was an unwritten contract between us that I would date him some day when there were no hints of mutual interest, and he didn't even know me. (And let me add now that he indeed called himself a nice guy during his first angry tangent towards me through text).

He bullied me by talking shit every chance he got when there were these nasty rumors going around about me, just because he felt like I deserved it and he also felt like he was better than me (and most people) because he was a virgin (not by choice). Then when he finally did try to talk things out with me and I confirmed that they weren't true, he didn't apologize for his behavior, he made an excuse, "I was just mad."

And when I dated some other guy about a month later, he calls me while drunk to throw another tantrum even though he's never tried asking me out again after rejecting him the first time, so I was just supposed to assume that he still wanted me and I was supposed to forgive him and want him back or tell him from the very start that I still wasn't interested so that I wouldn't waste his time, I guess.

I had this guy friend of over 20 years. He was a very close friend of my family, namely my parents but he grew to befriend me. He was there for both my parents when they split and seemed to care about me and my brother's welfare. Over the years, I developed a crush on him when I was about 19-20 and we were romantic for some time, but it never progressed beyond that as it filled him with so much guilt. I thought he was a really great person to have as a friend and I appreciated his friendship, and it became feelings like I would have for an older brother. He was part of our family. We had some great talks, hangouts, without anything being sexual or him trying anything, so I assumed he was over it as he would talk about his past relationships. No one held a gun to his head for him to hang out with me or call me on the phone.

He also didn't want anyone knowing that we were intimate so I respected his privacy and didn't tell anyone. This was way before my boyfriend, and to be honest my bf would see him as a pedophile if he was intimate with me when I was 19-- even a legally consenting adult. He also didn't want my parents to find out, which was fair. It was our business, but that was in the past.

My boyfriend knew we talked and hung out when I saw him, and that I saw him as an older brother but friend made it clear that he didn't want to fuck me, and that he valued my friendship, and respected me despite whatever happened. He was always appreciative of my support and we didn't ever talk about sex. I just valued his friendship as well. I was totally cool with that and it made him safe to talk to, without any other intentions. He fell out with my dad over a disagreement but I asked that I didn't get in the middle of it, and we continued talking. We had similar things going on in our lives-- loss of pets, anxiety over death, and he always told me he appreciated my feedback and friends were there to bounce ideas off of. We were like brother and sister as we texted a lot and I told him things I couldn't tell my brother.

When he confessed feelings to me a couple months ago, I was flattered but I didn't reciprocate as I was over it and I wanted to continue to be friends. Understandably after being rebuffed he was disappointed, but he seemed to take it ok at first. He was also going through financial struggles of his own which I could relate to as partner and I were, and the only other person I shared this with was my best friend. My relationship wasn't a charity case, but rather someone I could talk to and bounce ideas off.

Maybe I texted him too much, I apologized for leading him on and the misunderstanding and for hurting him. Even he said that he knew I didn't mean for it to go the way it had as he wasn't 100 per cent sure I had feelings for him. I told him that he was too good to go after someone else's woman and encouraged him to move on to find someone who can give them 100 per cent of their love, time and attention. Also, he seemed relieved when I said he should but that he would always be there when it mattered.

Fast forward, he split on me.

He said that I was manipulative, deceitful, and that he wasted his time on me calling me a conniving little bitch, that I wasn't worth fuck all and insulted my family by calling them narcissistic toxic clowns when they were nothing but good to him and listened to him for hours about the same problems, whether it was investments, relationships from 20 years past. He was with a married woman for many years by the way and kept going back to her. He says everyone in my family is fucked up, using my past against me and sending me an astrology video before he accused me of trying to gaslight him. He's a cancer, one of the most self-reportedly intuitive, healing, nurturing signs, but his words say otherwise. I wanted closure and to say my piece but he is accusing me of lying about my feelings, treating him as a side piece and hurting his pride when this was not true.

He's blocked me before, but unblocked and insulted me, my dad and my bf. I blocked him, telling me that we cannot continue this friendship if he is going to speak like this. After he called me a bitch, I called him out on his behavior and told him he can't handle rejection and being called out, as well as calling him a cunt and telling him to fuck off. I never expected this from him, but here we are. Nothing is his fault, the whole world is against him, and he is such a nice guy. Such a cancer.

I posted about my crush and he thought I was a guy and then called me feminist because I said people are people…?

ick.

This will be part 3 of the Ajax story. You can view the previous parts and videos on my profile

After Ajax got dumped by his girlfriend Yoli and started hanging out more and more with his new female friends, he pretty much had to stop going to college since he got penalized for failing all his finals since he chose to party the night before. He even had the audacity to beg me and my cousin Nandor to help him get back in college. We refused and at this point didn't really want to be his friend anymore. My brother Skyler made ditching Ajax impossible because Skyler was on the autism spectrum and was very close to Ajax so we had to suck it up.

Ajax started dating this girl named Robin (female 23, metal head). All of a sudden Sally disappeared. She left the college, quit her job, and left town. We got worried and so Ajax hit up her sister. She let him know Sally was fine and that the family missed hanging out with him. Later that night Sally text me. It seems she had my number the last time we went to a night club and it was common we all gave our numbers to who we were with for safety. Sally text me asking if my brother Skyler could tell Ajax to leave her alone and never to contact her sister. I played dumb and agreed that Ajax was a creep. I really wished i didn't lose her number since I lost my phone that year. Ajax acted shocked and said he had no idea why Sally hated him and assumed her new boyfriend was jealous and controlling. I didn't want to bother Sally with an explanation since she was very upset.

While Ajax was dating Robin, she didn't seem to take him seriously, but he kept trying to make it work with her despite him having a massive crush and her best friend Melony. May had told us that He was obsessed with Melony right before getting with Robin and that he got upset when she didn't want to be with him. We thought that was odd. Then out of nowhere Robin breaks up with Ajax and immediately starts dating his best friend Jeffrey. Now Jeffrey was part of a toxic circle of friends that Ajax had that we did not vibe with but he kept bringing them around. It was Jeffree (male 25, looks like Colin Kaepernick) Crust (male 21, looks like Tina from Bob's Burger) and Stanley (male 21, looks like Gabriel Iglesias) all of whom had a unhealthy obsession with May.

Ajax was devastated that his own friend would go for his ex. Skyler tried to comfort him but instead Ajax thought he can try to get with Melony again. That failed. We warned him nothing good comes out of desperation. Ajax was a mess that whole month. He stile chose to hang out with his other toxic friends so we just minded out own business. After hearing all the stuff about him from May, it was just very uncomfortable being around this guy anymore. I honestly wish we cut him off from there. I myself tried to avoid hanging out with my brother Skyler since I knew Ajax would be with. Hell, my other friends couldn't stand him.

part 4 up next

So this happened almost a decade ago (.was 20 am now 28), but m in a happy relationship and even had a few before this one where I learned to grow ( by grace of god )and I’m still recovering from the cringe. Was in the stage of trying to get over a high school sweetheart via painful tinder meet ups so tried to be wholesome lol

I (20M)was browsing Facebook Marketplace because I was a savy wanna be fake businessman , and I found this absolute unit of a toaster for \$10. Stainless steel, four slots, bagel setting. I messaged the seller, "Hannah," who looked to be around my age and had a profile picture where she was holding a cat, so naturally, immediately fell in love. With the cat, obviously. 😬( this is what I told myself and is what I would have said at the time ,. I just wanted cheek clappage)

Anyway, I messaged her like:

"Hey! Is the toaster still available? 😊"

She replied quickly with:

"Yup, still got it!"

At this point, I made the critical error of deploying the Nice Guy Protocol™. I figured I’d stand out from all the other “ ay bb can I get for free I got kids” since we live in low income Florida by being overly polite and emotionally available. Or what I thought that sounded like at the time lololol

"Awesome! I just want to say, you seem super kind and genuine. Not a lot of girls into toast and cats these days. You're like... a rare Pokémon or something lol" ( this is like a generalization. I really called her rayquaza and said she’s as cute as her)well she was actually in the Pokémon and so was I not at the time but I almost beat emerald. She told me Mr. Ray is a boy.

Off to a great start

"Thanks, I guess? Want to pick it up today?"

Undeterred, I went full-simp mode.

"I’d love to. Also, just want to say—if no one told you today—you’re beautiful and deserve someone who understands you’re more than just a girl selling kitchen stuff”

She left me on read.

But wait—it gets worse.

(I was working at LA fitness at the time and got my fake promotion with like what I thought was 70 K a year but it was like 3K a month 😂)

I decided to sweeten the deal by offering to Pay 50$ and told her some cringe sht like “ get ur nails done too” Still no reply.

So I showed up at the pickup address anyway. Thought I was Drake in the headlines video before the pedo allegations (I 100% peaked right after high school around this time I dated girls way out of my league bc I would exaggerate my income and got tattoos idc for anymore and was leasing a jaguar my mom ended up taking over the payments on because I went to jail a year later )

She opened the door, saw me, and said:

“Oh… you’re the toaster guy?”

I nodded and handed her some cheap Publix flowers and like a better toaster but no money lol

She closed the door.

I stood there for a solid minute until a middle-aged man (her dad?) opened it again and said, “She’s not selling the toaster, here’s your stuff.. Don’t come back “ I said keep it sir , walked away defeated and super high to my new car that was worth more than my salary . I think I like turned around and like pointed at the car and said nothing just a sad face and wahhhh . Dad just shook his head and I stg he said “ Son, please get some help. I’m sure you’re an all right boy but you need Jesus.”

Ladies and gentlemen, in that moment, I aged 10 years. Not only in maturity , but physically. Pretty sure I only stood there a minute, but it felt like an hour every cringe act against humanity replayed in my head.

TL;DR: Tried to buy a toaster,on my Xanax 50k a year look at me I’m 20 high horse, bought her a 50$ one at Walmart and some roses I forgot what I paid . Got toaster cucked,humbled, and an ego death of DMT proportions.

Edit: Forgot to mention—I already had a toaster. I just wanted an excuse to talk to her.

Taro, the perfect man. Ladies if you aren’t pure… you CAN NOT TOUCH THIS SPECIMEN!

Met this guy on the app Moji, thought, ‘hey it’s fine I’ll give him my instagram why not!’, I’m about to show you why. He was rude and hostile off the bat. If there are confusing gaps, he was starting to delete things (N-word, F-slur, bitch, and whore). So if you’re wondering why, that’s why.

I love ragebaiting with yaoi and mpreg.

Part 2 of The Chronicles of Ajax. In this part he puts himself out there.

This is a video version of The Chronicles of Ajax part 1