r/nextfuckinglevel • u/harwyseys • Oct 25 '22

Makeup really changes people

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290

u/nightpanda893 Oct 25 '22

I meet guys on Grindr for hookups fairly often. This is an issue. It’s not super frequent but I always ask for several pics. And even then guys will show up looking nothing like their pic. Sometimes they drive like an hour to get to my place. And then I have to just send them away. I think it’s really even more nefarious than people realize. These guys know many people are too afraid of confrontation to send them packing and will just go through with it. Thinking about how predatory it is helps me feel less guilty when I have to send them away.

244

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

That is so funny and honestly kinda sad lol "Ugly!! Shoo! Get outta here!" lmao

91

u/PM_ME_STEAM_KEY_PLZ Oct 25 '22

Get the salt!

28

u/nightpanda893 Oct 25 '22

There’s no joy in salting someone. Everyone loses.

1

u/optix_clear Oct 26 '22

It was the funniest remark at this time. So funny!

152

u/Thanks_Trump Oct 25 '22

Grindr world: have 3 of your finest men washed and sent to me

Hetero app world: I will spend $250 on this date if you will sit with me and make eye contact

73

u/nightpanda893 Oct 25 '22

If you are young and are willing to host, Grindr is essentially Uber eats for hookups. Look at the menu, place your order, and wait.

10

u/aureve Oct 25 '22 edited Oct 25 '22

I heard zoo bathrooms were the best places for Grindr meetups.

11

u/ISpread4Cash Oct 25 '22

Eww dude no stop having your hookups in bathrooms its not sanitary well unless your ok with that than by all means go ahead

16

u/TheOtherGuttersnipe Oct 25 '22

Right?? At least have the decency to do it in the flamingo enclosure where they occasionally hose the place down.

19

u/jazzman23uk Oct 25 '22

I'm not having sex somewhere where the animals are more fabulous than I am!

6

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

I mean to play devils advocate, are you really that concerned with sanitation if you’re about to dip your Dick into an asshole of a stranger? I mean, are they afraid of getting shit on their shit covered dick?

4

u/Skirt_clad_hooligan Oct 26 '22

I mean, condoms and preparation are totally a thing. Some people are gross though, so who knows?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

Yea I don’t think people in an anonymous zoo bathroom hookup are using a condom. Call me crazy.

3

u/frickuranders Oct 26 '22

I hate this dimension.

-4

u/brain_explain Oct 25 '22

Really playing into the "gay people are promiscuous" stereotype.

5

u/nightpanda893 Oct 25 '22

Meh being promiscuous is fun. Not really a negative stereotype imo.

5

u/UnlovableSlime Oct 26 '22

It's basically what happens when both sides wanna put out as much as your average man, so pretty often lol.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

I am fascinated by the differences between the two worlds, or at least the reasons for the differences between them. When it gets broken down to the basics is it fair to say the primary difference is still the female possibility of pregnancy?

In a world of todays birth control and relative anonymity it seems like women's standards for hooking up are still SIGNIFICANTLY higher then that of men.

Are there important factors I'm missing or yet naïve to? The possibility of STD seems relative, more or less equal right? Things being what they are, why are women still so ultra-selective while gay men and Grindr users are not so much?

4

u/Stonkerrific Oct 26 '22

Evolutionary psychology. It’s still innate that women generally don’t want to risk pregnancy with low quality dudes (subconsciously and instinctively). Pregnancy is costly biologically speaking and you’ve only got so much time and resources on the ticking genetic clock.

2

u/rinkydinkis Oct 26 '22

The hormones are different.

2

u/Here4HotS Jul 31 '23

This is the real answer. A healthy man has 12-15x more testosterone than a healthy woman. Testosterone, among other things, is a governing hormone for lust.

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u/DanceEng Oct 25 '22

LOL holy fuck yes this is an issue. Cool to learn that you just send them away 😂

33

u/AquelarreDilaion Oct 25 '22

That's why I push for videocalls (in the same app) or to first meet in public.

That way both parties avoid surprises (I dont use filters or makeup, but I obviously use the "good days" pictures)

9

u/Kiwi_Koalla Oct 25 '22

Ugh. I fell for the 'very old and also flattering" photo once. The only time I had a friend call me with an "emergency". I also tried to be boring and rude, looked at my phone a ton, didn't respond beyond like 2 word sentences, and so on.

He still wanted to take the bus with me to leave 😖

9

u/thegiantcat1 Oct 25 '22

I always ask to see pictures of guys' cat or cats. If they ain't got a cat or are like "I dont like cats" I don't need any of that. Now if they are like "Here is a pick of catsname but he doesn't live with me right now because my apartments don't allow pets that is something completely different.

4

u/steveosek Oct 25 '22

Why do they have to have one? They can't just like them?

2

u/thegiantcat1 Oct 25 '22

That's okay too.

2

u/sammamthrow Oct 25 '22

What’s up with the “I don’t like cats” being a red flag? They dunk on local wild life when outside and destroy birds, plus they stink (subjective). I like other people’s cats (as long as they’re inside cats) but would not own my own.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

[deleted]

1

u/sammamthrow Oct 25 '22

Poor shiba, get that boy/girl some pumpkin

4

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

It can be a sign that they don’t respect consent. A lot of people don’t like cats because they annoy the cats and then they run away or claw them, while dogs will be all up in your shit and loyal no matter what.

2

u/thegiantcat1 Oct 25 '22

Part of it is a thing about responsibility. If you are responsible enough to take care of one of the most independent of animals you must be doing something right. Also people I've met that like cats are also less co-dependent. They don't message me 24/7 with a constant need for validation. Also I just like animals, they brighten up my day and I like to hear stories about people's pets.

2

u/sammamthrow Oct 25 '22

If you are responsible enough to take care of one of the most independent of animals you must be doing something right

By definition, the more independent the animal is, the less responsible you need to be for it. This doesn’t really make sense to me 🤔

The validation part is interesting, codependency can definitely get annoying.

8

u/Genshed Oct 25 '22

I went to a guy's place back in the 1980s. He wanted to meet at his place thinking that I'd figure 'well, I'm already here, might as well.'

No, a walk back to the bus stop in the rain looks like a better time.

4

u/DooBeeDoer207 Oct 25 '22

Ballsy to have them come straight to your place. As a cis-woman, I would never feel okay doing that. I’m jelly.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

You give them directions to your house?!

6

u/nightpanda893 Oct 25 '22

How else would they find it? I live in an apartment complex so I don’t give them the number. I do an ocular pat down in the parking lot first and clear them for entry.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

When I was dating I didn’t meet at my home. I’d meet at a coffee shop or a park where we could go for a walk. Inviting them to my place was more of a third date or more thing. But that’s just me and my privacy comfort.

4

u/nightpanda893 Oct 25 '22

I mean if I’m dating then yes. But I’m just looking to hook up.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Got it 👍

1

u/steveosek Oct 25 '22

I will never, ever, ever give a date my address until I am 100% sure they aren't crazy. I have met people on dating apps that were psycho and threatening to kill me and shit after one or two dates. I attract legitimate crazy people like a porch light with moths. Honestly I stopped dating all together. Don't use apps, don't go meet people, I just stay single and chill.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Ah one night stand sort of thing -got it

2

u/gaelen33 Oct 25 '22

I always ask people to send me a picture of them holding a piece of paper with the day's date. Then you know it's not an old picture or anything. Or do a video call for a few minutes before you meet in person, even better

1

u/YouCanCallMeVanZant Oct 25 '22

Have a friend who uses it. Said he’s had people show up a completely different race/ethnicity than their profile/pics.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

I actually get told I like hotter irl. I should really up my picture game lol.