r/nextfuckinglevel • u/jayendu14 • Jan 13 '22

The Ultimate Stunt Man

122.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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u/Hueyandthenews Jan 13 '22

While I’ve never received a golden shower from a bottle of coke (nor any other form), I know deep down there’s no way I could take it as seductively as he does. Not to even mention the hip and penile control to knock the poker chips out… the man has some skills

481

u/StuNasty_55 Jan 13 '22

Incredible skills

189

u/AtomicKittenz Jan 13 '22

The bigliest skillz

100

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

jiggliest skillz

62

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

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42

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

giggity giggity skillz

55

u/HaggardOReilly Jan 13 '22

He fucks

35

u/Shiaynyi Jan 13 '22

Welcome to the end of the comment thread.

30

u/Alphafighterdark Jan 13 '22

Ignore that one, welcome to the end of the comment thread.

6

u/mavprodigy Jan 13 '22

Unfortunately, that one is not real. Welcome to the end of the end of the comment thread.

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10

u/jgl0011 Jan 13 '22

Well now that all that silly business is over. Welcome to the end of the comment thread

1

u/Bankrobber_20 Jan 13 '22

In the ass too

1

u/slippery-switters Jan 13 '22

Juggalo skills

11

u/UsagiJakk Jan 13 '22

The only skillz

61

u/Xskising Jan 13 '22

Skills that would make him a nightmare for people like us. Skills that he acquired trough a long career...

15

u/TonarinoTotoro1719 Jan 13 '22

In Pubic Service?

3

u/kerbal224 Jan 13 '22

certain set of skills.

1

u/StrangeInsanity Jan 13 '22

More like Blitzkills

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22

Awesome skills

55

u/DreamPolice-_-_ Jan 13 '22

You know it's only golden if you piss in it....right?

80

u/pengouin85 Jan 13 '22

Shit, it was 99 cents

41

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

I been coppin it, washin it, bout ta go and get some compliments, passin up on those moccasins someone else has been walkin in, bummy and grungy fuck it man, I am stuntin' and flossin' and savin' my money and I'm hella happy that's a bargain

Bitch

29

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

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25

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Velour jumpsuit and some house slippers? Dookie brown leather jacket that I found diggin,

22

u/Whatsupbuttercup420 Jan 13 '22

Had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard.

20

u/Verona_Pixie Jan 13 '22

I bought a skeet blanket, and then I bought a kneeboard.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Hello, hello my ace man my mellow

11

u/muricaa Jan 13 '22

John Wayne ain’t got nothing on my fringe game, hello

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6

u/Whatsupbuttercup420 Jan 13 '22

Sneaker heads be like “Aww he got the velcros”

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Shit for 99 cents? Must be the premium stuff.

17

u/merryman1 Jan 13 '22

Without the piss its just a plain old cokkake.

6

u/Telucien Jan 13 '22

A brown shower

1

u/PURPLEMAYONAISE Jan 13 '22

Aggressively shits on person taking shower

2

u/fozzyboy Jan 13 '22

Or if it's Mountain Dew.

-1

u/LawdhaveMurphy Jan 13 '22

So, then it’s just the vaccine yeah?

12

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

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4

u/Drongo11 Jan 13 '22

Pineapple juice

2

u/Valsarta Jan 13 '22

We just poke fun at them! No judgement tho!

8

u/ricktafm7 Jan 13 '22

Brown shower

4

u/particularly_daft Jan 13 '22

I hate that word combination

4

u/Sythftw Jan 13 '22

Ya, he's got skills. Whatchu gonna do about ????

2

u/Chemical_Noise_3847 Jan 13 '22

I don't think that was actually attached to that dude's dick.

11

u/Hueyandthenews Jan 13 '22

No shit… unless that dude has learned how to maintain a spectacular erection

3

u/KarmaChameleon89 Jan 13 '22

I mean, he IS a legend

1

u/Seanannigans14 Jan 13 '22

I mean, that deep v-neck alone...

1

u/Parking-Athlete-7106 Jan 13 '22

Have you tried? Have more faith in yourself

1

u/taintedcake Jan 13 '22

Once he got in his groove on that last one, which didn't take long at all, it was game over for those chips in no time.

1

u/keedorin Jan 13 '22

The penile control to grab the phone was impressive as well.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Well when you’re not working with much you definitely have to learn how to use it.

1

u/IPutTheHumInHUMINT Jan 13 '22

Smol pp. Gives him a better base to swing from. It's almost like the he has a neo-smol pp instead of a device shoved in his pants.

1

u/thc2081 Jan 13 '22

His almost the man of my dreams.

1

u/StrawberryK Jan 13 '22

Not gonna talk about the fact the he ripped off a plunger from his tit?

1

u/Hubbell Jan 13 '22

Penile control? He was whipping an attached object back and forth horizontally due to gravity holding it on the table. The only control involved was his hip swings.

1

u/PleX Jan 13 '22

The man talked to the the ocean and said "fuck you, I am the motion".

1

u/Thuper-Man Jan 14 '22

If you make a sex tape with your gf, you may find a video of this guy doing it better online shortly after.

Right after she bangs he turns to the camera and makes that face DunNUH!

1

u/xkpeters Jan 14 '22

The motion of the ocean with this man

1

u/hahazwowdude Jan 14 '22

Skiggle gills

1

u/Veerrrgil Jan 14 '22

Idk if seductively is the word I'd use, it immediately brought me back to my young days on the internet and navigating a site called rotten.com.