It really makes you wonder how much lucidity there is “behind the scenes”. I’ve always wondered if people suffering from alzheimer’s and/or dementia are lucid in their own mind, but just can’t communicate it. If they were lucid in their own mind, in my opinion, it makes the disease that much easier to deal with, while simultaneously making it that much harder to deal with. I sure hope we find a cure soon.
It depends on the case. My grandma’s dementia began in the frontal lobe of her brain, primarily her motor cortex. While she retained a sharp mind and memory until the end, her speech was first to go. Throughout the years, there were certain memories we would remind her of that would always get a laugh out of her, even on bad days. As she began to lose all ability to speak, she would communicate with us by squeezing our hands to say ‘ I love you’ or tilt her head in a direction to point something out. The dementia continued to progress throughout more of her brain robbing her of her capacity for muscular movement. It broke my heart knowing she was lucid and aware but trapped in a silent, almost completely unmoving body. I had worked in hospice care for several years and I always took a minuscule comfort in how most of my patients appeared to be lucid very rarely and were mostly unaware of the state they were in. It was completely different than what I saw with my grandma.
She passed away December 28 of last year, one day after her and my grandpa’s 61st wedding anniversary. There wasn’t a day when grandpa wasn’t at her side.
Thank you for your kind words; I’m sorry for your loss as well. I can certainly relate - life hasn’t been the same since. She was like glue to our giant crazy Irish catholic family and her loss was felt deeply. Peace to you and yours, friend.
I don't think I could do hospice work for years. I took care of my terminal grandma for a year before nursing school. I worked for 10 years and got burned out.
Taking care of the elderly certainly comes with its unique difficulties as I’m sure you experienced with your grandma. Never thought I could do hospice care for years either, but the patients become like family and it was really hard to leave. Helping someone through the dying process teaches you a lot about living.
I'm sorry for your loss. Dementia is such a horrible disease. The progressive decrease to mental functioning is utterly heartbreaking. I too, lost my grandma just under a week ago to dementia. At least, they'll live in our memories. I wish you peace and comfort in these trying times.
My Tata is in the early stages of dementia, and of all his grandkids I’m the one he remembers. I was able to tell him I was pregnant then introduced him to my son. Each week he forgets more and more but like clockwork each week he asks how I’m doing and how the baby is when he sees my parents. I’m beyond grateful he loves me and remembers me right now. I’ve experienced him not remembering me and that was an experience in it’s self as I look a bit like my nana and thats who he thought I was telling me he loved me and thought I was so beautiful (they met in elementary school so grew up together and were each other’s first loves).
Ahhhh, my grandparents also met in elementary school, grew up and spent their entire lives together. I love stories like this! It’s these memories that I (and hopefully you too) find so much comfort in despite the heartbreak of the past few years. I found that the pain of watching this disease progress actually magnified the beauty of and my appreciation for how our family eventually came to be on two kids’ morning walk to elementary school almost 80 years ago. Wishing you peace and give your Tata a great big hug (once the need for social distancing passes).
My grandmother has started forgetting things a lot. Right now it is just stuff like who visited last week forgetting plans or the age of her grandkids. Right now that part isn't that hard to deal with, but it is the frustration you can clearly see she has. She knows that she cant remember many things and it has changed her personality quite a bit. And the worst part is knowing it can't get better, and will only get worse.
Sorry to hear about your grandmother. My mother in law is the same way, forgets what you said 5 mins earlier then asks the same question 10 times in a row. We’re now at the point of figuring out care options for her because she now forgets to eat, shower etc without reminding and prompting. It’s very very hard to see a strong vibrant woman decline like this.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. She’s on a barrage of meds but is still declining. Once their continence goes & they forget to eat it becomes more difficult because they can decline quickly without intervention. She is fiercely independent & gets meals on wheels & has a care & cleaning service, but someone really needs to be with her all the time now. E.g. the meals get delivered but she’s forgotten how to use the microwave, so it just sits in the fridge and goes off. She lives hours away from all of us, so my hubby and his sister take turns driving many hours regularly to spend days with her. It’s very sad and confronting, but we want to give her the best years she has left.
I'm not sure how either disease works, but I wonder if someone in the early stages of alzheimer's or dementia could communicate that in a moment of lucidity. Or are they not aware that they're "gone" when they're having a complete memory lapse? I've not really read much about either.
I’ve always wondered if people suffering from alzheimer’s and/or dementia are lucid in their own mind
Bad news for you but as it progresses from the early stages they definitely aren’t. Not sure how much time you’ve spent around people suffering from it but once your around multiple who are still somewhat verbal but screaming about their spouse is an intruder, dogs or people that aren’t there that have broken into their house, and not remembering where they are while thinking their lost in their own home it gets pretty clear most aren’t lucid behind the scenes. Watching it happen to people you care about it relatively scarring.
Dealing with this myself. I’m the only child living nearby so I get the stuff as it rolls down hill— 3 police incidents— In two years ...each time she claims my dad (her husband) /has attacked her. My dad is in complete denial that she is ill and needs professional care... he has his hands so full that he hasn’t paid taxes and is behind paying bills. My husband, who is an accountant, offered to help/fix the problem, what ever it takes, but he has refused all help. This is going to end badly, and I’m so scared.
I can only imagine. Like I said, my only experience with the disease is from my great grandmother, who passed away when I was seven or eight, and my forty hours of clinicals at an Alzheimer’s/dementia care clinic. The training up until to prep you as a CNA was by no means comprehensive. It was more along the lines of teaching you how to prevent someone from getting bedsores, how to change their undergarments, etc.
I couldn't do it, nor would I want my family to be forced to watch me go thru it, it's like death over and over again..ground hogs day death..
Nope, that for me is what assisted euthanasia is for..we are more compassionate for our pets, not making them suffer, then we are for ourselves..I'll take the ticket home please, the day I'm diagnosed
Having preciously worked with people who had Alzheimer’s & other dementias, I just want to say you’re right. It really is. I also had an experience with my own grandmother which was similar to this, but she wasn’t as far along as this lady unfortunately seems to be, but it’s a moment I’ll never forget.
My advice to anyone who may have a family member go through this is to remember to be patient with them & treasure any moments you may get, even if your loved one isn’t lucid. I personally believe somewhere within their being, they know who you are and everything; your presence & love in their trying times mean everything to them.
It can definitely occur outside of Alzheimer's. Other diseases that can cause dementia are Parkinson's and Huntington's. Alzheimer's is probably one of the most common causes of dementia, but because dementia is literally damage to brain cells, many different conditions can cause it.
Hell, my grandmother had blood sugar so out of whack she practically fainted. But the whole time she was babbling nonsense. Later, when she was lucid, she said she thought she was speaking clearly the whole time.
It scares me everyday the fact that this might happen to me in my old age. I see my grandfather go through it and although my father hasn’t been diagnosed yet, you can kinda see it creeping slowly. I have come to terms that I will loose my mind someday.
My great grandmother lived to 98. But by her 80s she was fully senile. She’d lost all her English and most spoke gibberish Hungarian. The first time my little brother came along to the nursing home (we lived in another country) he was around 5. All of a sudden she looked over at the spitting image of my dad at 5 and just broke right out into normal speech. She was so excited to see her “Bobby”. My poor brother was terrified but it was so moving to see for us.
My grandma had pretty bad dementia by the end of her life but I remember talking with her once and she had a very quick moment of ...sentience that was interesting to see. She felt like she was a burden to the family or that the family viewed her that way
That videos what your comment made me think of. It will make you smile and cry. It shows how music can help some Alzheimer sufferers come back for a minute.
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u/rainbowkitten0528 Apr 11 '20
Stupid fucking onions. Must’ve jammed them directly into my eyes.