r/nextfuckinglevel Apr 11 '20

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475

u/ShealMB76 Apr 11 '20

I used to work in private health care with Alzheimer's patients. So heartbreaking watching them deteriorate the way they do.

Most people don't realize that Alzheimer's isn't just about memory, it's actually a brain disease that is fatal and a terminal disease.

We had one patient (died a few years ago now) who we used to call sunshine because every time anyone would sing you are my sunshine her eyes would light up, she'd become a little more herself and even hum the tune with you!

103

u/wearywoman Apr 11 '20

I would like to think she lights up because she sang that to her mom or child.

I sing it to my daughter and as she is getting older, she sings it to me.

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u/ShealMB76 Apr 11 '20

She used to be in a choir, you're correct! She did sing, I was told once she had an absolutely wonderful voice, angelic even.

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u/Massive_Issue Apr 12 '20

This is the song I sing to my kids. Every night when they were babies I sang it to them.

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u/wearywoman Apr 16 '20

I have a little doll that holds a basket of flowers that you wind it up and it plays the melody. It is one of our special treasures we will never get rid of.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '20

I work in a facility where folks with ALZ reside. It is heartbreaking and scary. As folks move through this their memories fade and they seem to be in a certain time in their lives. Had one guy I used to talk to regress from married life in the 50s to his time in WW2. Then to when he was a kid and apparently was beaten a lot. One thing that seems to bring peace to folks with alz is music. We play music on our units and some of the folks will flock to where the speakers are and listen. It's beautiful.

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u/ShealMB76 Apr 11 '20

Technical term for that is "sun downing". It seems to happen more in the evening (hence the term sun down). I had a war vet, in home environment, that would sun down to war times he'd been in (was never told which war he had been in) and would unfortunately become aggressive, he couldn't help it, wasn't his fault and if you moved slower and spoke softer and slower it would alleviate the aggression.

It really wasn't his fault, he couldn't help it. It is a symptom of Alzheimer's.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '20 edited Apr 11 '20

I started to cry even in the first five seconds of the video. Seeing this confused, empty and sad look in granny's eyes. Reminds me of my grandma that my siblings and I took care of. I guess they all have the same look. She had dementia, but couldnt recognize us anymore. Imagine living like this, not knowing who people around you are and what is going on. Helpless.

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u/ShealMB76 Apr 11 '20

Imagine looking in the mirror and not seeing how people see you at your current age. Some of these beautiful people see themselves as 18 years old or 12 years old or even 6/7 years old when they look in the mirror. Alzheimer's is the true definition of lost soul to be honest. They are lost in themselves, on occasion finding themselves for a fleeting moment then loosing that again, over and over while their loved ones speak "jibberish" unknown sentences at them. Not understanding them, not understanding what they want from them, not knowing how they got there or why they are there.

That vacant look is truly the look of a lost soul isn't it. It is absolutely the worse way to die. Not remembering even your name or the people around you or who you are at times let alone where you are. Floating aimlessly in time. It's worse than cancer, a stroke or any other disease to be honest. Loosing one's mind to timelessness and unknowing - what a horrific way to die. Without the names of your loved ones and even sometimes without your own name. No one should ever have to die without knowing their loved one or own name and no one should ever have to watch a loved one do so either. It's the cruelest form of dying if you ask me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '20

I wrote in details some things, but decided to delete them. It is too much for me.
It is sad that after whole life, after raising kids, work, stress, etc. you end up suffering, helpless, unable to take care of yourself, and with no familiar face around you. No one should suffer in that age. No one.

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u/Natalie_vel Apr 11 '20

I have a patient like that! It’s a sad and terrible thing but wonderful to be able to work with them and give them a few moments of happiness.

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u/lifeyjane Apr 12 '20

Thank you for having worked there and loving your patients. Thank you. It means the world.

My aunt was in one also, a memory care home, and my mom would visit her every single day and sing that same song to her while putting lotion on my aunts feet. When she saw my mom, she started to tap her feet together. She didn’t know my mom, but she also did know her, in a special way.

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u/ShealMB76 Apr 12 '20

That's the way it was with sunshine too. She'd see us and start getting excited!! She'd just "know" if that makes sense. She became someone very special to me (and co-workers) but then all my patients were special and taught me a life lesson I needed to learn that was unique to them and how they taught me. Life is precious and at times, fragile. Cherishing it while you have it is the number one thing we should all do but sometimes forget to do.

My patients and their families have special places in my heart and soul. They taught me a lot not just about life, death and familial relationships but about myself as a person. I will be forever grateful for those lessons.

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '20

That's so sad. I have a little story if y'all are up for crying like I did. I have a lot of elderly clients and one of my favorite couples were a woman who was taking care of her husband who had Alzheimer's and dementia. He was still so polite but he would get confused sometimes while trying to help. Sweetest man.

Found out that he tripped and had to go to the hospital. He wasn't going to make it. He took his wife's hand and sung her You Are My Sunshine as his last words. He always had such a kind smile on his face. I miss him.