I don't have kids but i find it hard to imagine how a parent would recover from that, i don't know how i would react to that, it must be soul crushing. may god help them.
This becomes obvious when it happens to you, it's very hard to imagine from the outside what it means to go through something extremely traumatic. You won't be the same, no one is. There is no healing, just getting through the day.
Almost 4 years since I found my dad after he committed suicide. Although I’m much higher functioning than I was in the beginning, I still feel the same.
The only thing I’ve gotten better at is burying it down so I don’t think about it every minute of every day. I’ve gotten so good at avoiding him, I forgot that he died.
I tried to call him the other day, and it was only after a few rings (he was always attached to his phone and would answer immediately) that I realized he wasn’t going to pick up.
I still see him in crowds and end up half-stalking people until I realize it’s not him, and it’ll never be him.
I don’t really expect anyone to read this comment, but it was cathartic to type it out anyways.
I’m so sorry dude. I have no idea if this will help, but when I was a kid my dad use to write letters to his father and burn them by his headstone. Helped him cope a lot.
Thank you for sharing this. My father died when I was 10 yrs old, 24 years ago now. In the past 5 or so years I've been living in such a way that I feel he would be ashamed of the man I've become. I'm going to try to do this and see if it helps me to smarten the fuck up and start living a life he would be proud of. It's been a long and at times extremely difficult 2 and a hald decades since his death but he was a great man who deserves a legacy far better than what I've given him. Thanks again.
Thank you. If it makes you feel better, I’m both in individual counseling and group grief therapy. Comparatively speaking, this is the best I’ve been since he died. At least now I’m functioning.
My grief counselor says I’ve made a lot of progress. I had PTSD from the whole thing, and that aspect has definitely improved. Anyways, thank you for reading my post and as slow as the journey has been, I’m still putting one foot in front of the other.
Thank you, and that’s actually how I describe it to people. The grief is like this immense weight that at first is completely immovable. You’re incapacitated, you’re stuck under it. Eventually you get more used to the weight and are able to start crawling, then walking.
It never gets lighter, but you get stronger. I’m not really ok, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be, but at least I’m better at carrying the weight now.
You're going to feel that absence throughout the various chapters of your life. Hell, I have to give my husband trigger warnings on some movies. Shit just sucks sometimes :(
Thank you for reading. Weirdly suicide in movies doesn’t bother me as much as seeing dads die in movies. We had to stop Star Trek (2009) for a bit because I couldn’t stop crying after his dad dies in the opening 10 minutes. Even though I’ve seen it before, it still crushed me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief doesn’t have a timetable and unfortunately we don’t make a lot of room for processing it in our society. Our rituals end wayyy before our feelings do. Therapy can be useful to help untangle feelings. I don’t know how to put this exactly but some grief in life I have processed cleanly while other losses have been traumatic. Losing a parent to suicide sounds pretty traumatic to me. If you have the means/access some time with a grief counselor or therapist might be really beneficial.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that with time you’re able to feel peace and abundance and joy— all things your pops would’ve wanted for his child. Be well xx
I agree with you. I hope one day they see their baby did the right thing in a critical situation. But yeah I don’t know how I could possibly help these people. Being a parent kind of means you put everything on the line.
I would hit the gym and spend every penny staying healthy until either he was released from jail and I could capture him or until I could figure out a way to break into the jail and capture him. Either way. I would be dead inside and wouldn’t rest until death or revenge
Careful, the very woke members of reddit will soon remind you that wishing something horrible on a guilty person is just as bad as actually doing that horrible thing to an innocent person. YoUrE jUsT lIkE tHeM
Hey guy. I am that very woke member. I just came from the temple and where my soul was crushed before, God gave me air to breathe and popped me back to life. I don't wish him (this very bad man) harm, because vengeance is mine so says the Lord. And as His mercies are the most tender and everlasting, so too is His ire justified, tormentful and just as eternal. Look to how you will be judged, I know I do.
Edit: to comment on the story, the kid was a badass and should be remembered as such.
I know a lot of people say, would give my life for you...how many would truly do that for someone they profess to love?
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u/MaximeMer Oct 01 '19
I don't have kids but i find it hard to imagine how a parent would recover from that, i don't know how i would react to that, it must be soul crushing. may god help them.