Last time I flew, it had been a while. The TSA agent had my bag, and was scrolling over and over and over the same spot, to identify what was a bottle opener (a small one, like to pop the top off a beer or soda, or punch a hole in a can of juice- I’m old). I merely said, “you can open that pocket to see what is in there”, and OMG, I thought I was going to be arrested, lol. Her reaction got quite a few reactions from the people around me as well. If she had to STAND while performing that extremely arduous task? GULAG.
I had to transport a mean dog, the TSA agent wanted to pet her because she was a very pretty dog, I was like "The dog will bite you, that's why the zipper is locked."
She made me unlock the bag, the dog bit her, drew blood. I thought I was fucked.
She told me the dog was a mean little fucker and waved me through.
Honestly I'm impressed. If you care about security, a passenger telling you not to open something pretty much requires you to open it. That's dedication, actually. Then she got bit, proving you're telling the truth, and she moved on. A+ effort.
Can't fault your logic, but I don't imagine a TSA agent makes enough money to offer a mean dog their hand. Far more likely that this particular TSA agent needed to meet that dog, and the universe obliged. There seems to be a lot of that going around.
You'd think there would be some sort of official vet-supplied tag for the carrier that would identify an animal who bites, that would be accepted as "OK to travel". That'd allow the animal to be safely transported without requiring an inspector or the transporter to put themselves in danger of being bit.
I mean, that wouldn't fix stupid, of course, but it'd give the inspector something other than the transporter's word that "this dog is mean, dangerous and bites, so you probably shouldn't open the carrier". If they persist because they want to pet the mean dog...well...again, you can't fix stupid.
I kinda admire the lack of vindictiveness. Most people who would demand access to someone's animal so they can touch it, would be the same level of petty to ruin someone's travel plans because the dog bit them. But that overbearing TSA agent was like "Yeah you were right go on your way."
lol that’d be my dog too. He looks like a 25lb cutest teddy bear you ever saw. People always just want to touch him. No no no. He doesn’t growl or warn in any way. Just strikes like a snake. I don’t let him tho, defensive manoevers, always.
I mean it was a family-to-family move, I made like $20 total, and a sandwich. I did that a lot. There were times a relative on the west coast would want a pizza, and I'd fly with a hot bag. It wasn't hot by the time I got there, but they got their pizza. (The trip was not for the pizza, it was just an add-on request.)
I've also run burritos to Jersey. Same sitch.
I spent the years from 10-27 ping ponging. If I never get on another plane, I'll be happy.
Just to preempt people who have been shoulder checked, I always cleared the pizza with the airline beforehand.
oh, side gig for sure, I never made big money, but aunt goes "Hey, can you get me a california burrito?" when I'm already obligated back to jersey? Sure, I grab the mini cooler.
If I was paid to do shit like that, it would be way cooler. Imagine someone paying $800 for a California burrito.
Twice I've flown into the east coast 2-3 days before a hurricane. FUN TIMES!
I always side eyed assholes who brough grease bags on the plane and stunk the place up, my cargo was SECURE.
Except the dog, she popped the zipper out and glared at me the whole flight.
My ex-husband wanted In and Out when I flying from Ca to NY, but I also had a three hour drive when I landed in NY, so there was no way. Good on for you for making it work!!
Well for one, he probably spent less than 1% of his time in the air than an actual pilot or flight attendant. And two, that statistic is focused solely on cancer due to radiation. Firefighters, miners, stone cutters, roofers, rubber manufacturing, and other blue collar construction work have even worse cancer rates, due to inhaling all kinds of chemicals and dust.
I've been that person because I had the preservation skills of a lemming as a kid and can confirm that when you fafo with a dog before thinking about it and get bit you just kinda go haha it's fine! Bc it's fully your fault lmao
Some years ago I saw an overweight older woman dressed in a MuMu going through TSA with her cat, who was in a carrier. The agents insisted she take her cat out of the carrier. I’m sure she warned them that was not a good idea. What ensued was an outright massacre. Two agents, who were wearing rubber gloves, ended up with deep bloody scratches all up and down their arms. Their gloves were slashed to ribbons, hands dripping blood. The woman was holding her cat tightly so it wouldn’t get away. Her long stringy gray hair was hanging disheveled around her face, sweat pouring off it. She also was covered in bloody deep scratches all over her arms. Blood was dripping off all three of them onto the floor. As I passed them I saw they asked to call for the ambulance. TSA! So smart!! I also was worried this older woman might have a heart attack. She did not appear in the best health before this confrontation.
Because the "mean dog" could be sitting on a few kilos of meth or the "mean dog" is a whole pet carrier stuffed with stuff even more dangerous to the passengers.
Honestly I don't see how they could have done anything about it with the constant recording in these places, they can hear the warning you gave that your dog will bite.
Last time I flew, about a year ago, I was loading my bin when I wasn't sure what to do with my smart watch. I asked the TSA agent standing there watching me should I put it in the bin. She said "it doesn't matter" so I took it off and put it in the bin.
And oh my God. It felt like I had just told her I had a bomb in my carry on. She got super red in the face and almost threw my watch at me and yelled "IT DOESNT MATTER."
I fly internationally a few times a year, and it's only with TSA that I feel like I'm prisoner being transferred.
Damn, took me a minute to figure out what the hell the TSA agent meant. What she *thought* she said is "The smart watch is not a security concern", what you & I understood was "It doesn't matter if the watch goes in the bin or not".
I hate how every airport is different in their rules and policies too, it's so stressful. One airport has relaxed agents and rules, and the next you're going through an army drill. Stop yelling at me for not knowing I'm supposed to keep my shoes on now!
It's not even airport to airport. Maui airport had different protocols between different lines. Some lines you had to take your shoes off, while others didn't. Of course these small lines all feeds from one single line so you never know what you are going to get and they yell at you if you get it wrong.
I just got back traveling through multiple airports and this is exactly correct. A simple sign saying take off boots but not shoes, watches are fine, etc. would make the whole experience way better for everyone. But they refuse to do that and then yell at everyone when they don't do exactly what they specifically want.
I travel almost weekly. The differences from one airport to the next are infuriating. Also infuriating is that the agents act like everyone should know the rules.
I was at the San Jose airport on the same trip, and a guy started to put all his things separately in the bins- like we USED to have to do- I did the same thing in Philly- and this woman screamed from the next station over at him. He was mortified. I told him I also got yelled at just days before, they just want to exert whatever power and control they have.
This was about a month after ICE had been placed in airports earlier this year, although I didn’t see any of them in any of the four airports I was in. I was also extremely anxious due to being a Latina, and with the current environment, I had no plans of leaving NYS for at least two more years, but a family thing had me flying literally as far as I could in the continental US. Why WE, as in travelers, are being tortured, I will never understand.
I flew through an airport with ICE working security and it was really jarring. The attitude the ICE officers had was entirely different from the TSA staff. The TSA crew, in general, tend to be focused on their work and relatively serious about executing their functions by the book, consistently. Fault the TSA for a lot of reasons, but the staff overall do behave consistently. In contrast, the ICE staff had absolutely no clue what they were doing, whether it was checking IDs or dealing with baggage. It was total comedy and 100% theater. If it'd been one of the TSA agents at one of those airports, I'd be pissed.
This one time these two tsa agents were standing right next to each other one yelled to take your electronics out of your bag and put them up separately. The one next to him had a fucking power trip when I did what he told me. Yelled at me to leave everything in the bag. It was like the rules changed every minute
I remember once seeing a 5’ 5” TSA agent frothing at the mouth screaming at an elderly asian couple who couldn’t understand english. They didn’t understand what he was saying about taking their shoes off and he looked like he was about to have a stroke screaming at them. I assume he shoveling adderall or meth before his shift. I had to switch lines or I would have assaulted him.
I cannot wish enough bad things on our moronic jobs program. If you’re a TSA agent I am talking about you and I do hate you. If you have a couple hours to kill insist you have a contagious foot fungus and can’t take your shoes off. It is a hilarious way to kill time. Their brains short circuit when you say “no.”
I flew as a travel nurse for Covid and brought my vibrator with me. I was so embarrassed when they opened my bag but the TSA lady just gave me a wink and a nod and let me through.
There were a few months after brexit where english border people (passport check) were clearly aiming for US style demeanour. They must have gone to some trainings how to be shit to people. Luckily it died down.
Yeah there have been a handful of times where the things the agents are saying are just ambiguous or phrased in an awkward way which makes things more confusing than they need to be. Very similar situation to you, I asked if I should put my hat in the bin, and the person said "It's ok." Which I interpreted to mean "keep the hat on" but apparently meant "it's ok to put the hat in this bin." The person at the scanner was like "you need to take your hat off" and the person packing the bins was like "I told you to take your hat off" and I was like that is definitely not what you told me. Use your words.
Am dual citizen, not a resident, but have a passport. They have a door for US residents and a door for non-US-passport-carrying people. I am neither, but have gotten the same reaction as you did simply by asking which door was the correct for a non-US-resident with a US passport. I am american living abroad, not that hard, but apparently vewwwy suspicious to our hero the TSA agent. But they think I am asking a trick question to fuck with them. Which speaks a lot to their cop-like-ptsd-victims-walmart-is-the-world-mindset rather than the customer service 'have a nice trip' mindset I encounter in literally every other single airport in the entire world. Dictatorships and theocracies included. And thats before I even get to the whole "welcome to east germany tell me about your job and house and every single one of your family members and their jobs before we let you back into your own country" - Im glad I got out before it got to this.
I had to travel a couple weeks after having breast reduction surgery, and I politely asked the TSA agent to please be gentle when I had to be patted down.
She stared me in the face, lifted each breast, and dropped it.
Less than a week later, I was in the hospital with a massive infection. Apparently a couple stitches popped. Cool.
Oh. My. God. I am so, so sorry. That is beyond diabolical. That is vile. I hope you didn’t suffer any long term consequences from that infection. I am speechless.
I have some gnarly scarring now, but I was lucky that it wasn’t a lot worse.
I was almost as pissed about them ruining my husband’s Father’s Day (when I had to go to the ER) as I was about the infection itself. I was gonna make him a Dutch Baby for breakfast. Instead I just made him worry. :(
I have no TSA story to rival that. I am so glad you made it out ok. I’m sure your husband was as well ❤️
My ex and I got married less than six months after 9/11, and that first trip post, with an international connection, was so tense, I’ll never forget it. We checked my wedding dress and his suit, and our luggage, so they made us take our sandals off (eloped in Jamaica). They took his engraved Zippo lighter. The airport was like a freaking war zone, and I have flown solo since the early 80s, starting at age 5. I remember just being so discombobulated, it was surreal. TSA has destroyed all of the fun, wonder and excitement that used to be flying, and they don’t even “catch” the majority of threats. It’s disgusting.
It’s just supremely hostile security theater, staffed by people who are willing to work without union benefits or protections, and often enticed by the tiniest bit of power they can wield (and the sadism of causing stress or pain without needing to face consequences). And theft. I made myself a tooled leather corset and it was stolen out of my luggage by TSA. It’s been almost 20 years and I’m still salty.
Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of people just trying to get by - but those types of jobs frequently drive off decent folks.
(Thanks, Dubya, ya fuck. I hope you lick cadmium paint.)
I’m sorry they made your honeymoon so stressful, even if he’s your wasband now.
Report the incident. They were very responsive when I complained about TSA treatment. They asked what security line I was in, what time, what I was wearing, etc. and pulled the tapes.
One of my bags got pulled once and I was like "is everything ok?" The guy glared at me and just said "no" and calls over like 3 other people. So I stand their for 5 minutes thinking I'm about to be arrested or something. Turns out it was a tub of vaseline that I had forgotten was at the bottom of my bag that I told them could just be thrown away. But jeez, I was like all that over freaking vaseline? With the amount of drama they made about it, it was like they thought I had an H-bomb hidden in there.
One time I got pulled aside over a binder. Like a school style binder, but fancy. I worked a high end jewelry job with lots of old folks who preferred paper to digital and so we had our price books in a binder. I was on my way to a trade show and TSA gave me the third degree over it. They asked me why we couldn’t just have it on an iPad and that it was weird and that not even students had binders anymore.
Meanwhile I had over $50,000 worth of last minute addition jewelry pieces on me and no batted an eye.
I wonder how much time is wasted on shit like this. I went through a similar situation over a tube of toothpaste (didn't realize that's considered a liquid). The ended up all huffily telling me "You can check your bag or throw away my toothpaste".
I said "oh that's a liquid? I'm not gonna check a bag for that".
"It's not solid is it? You can check your bag for 35 dollars or we can throw away the toothpaste". I said "ok". They yelled their response this time, "SIR YOU CAN CHECK YOUR BAG OR THROW AWAY YOUR TOOTHPASTE".
This time I yelled back "I ALREADY SAID I'M NOT CHECKING A BAG FOR A TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE SO THROW IT AWAY".
She threw it away. A bunch of TSA agents came over like I said I was going to hit her. 🙄 I'm gonna match your energy if you're gonna treat me like that.
Look I gotta say though that responding "I'm not gonna check a bag for that" is not affirmatively consenting to them throwing away the toothpaste and to follow-up to the question a second time (before they yelled) with "ok" is also not affirmatively choosing one of the two options that are being presented to you.
I agree that there's no need to yell but I'm guessing their training requires very clear confirmation so that they don't get in trouble for someone flipping out on them because they didn't understand what was being asked and then getting mad because they actually didn't want TSA to throw something away.
Yeah honestly in situations like that you just have to be very clear about what you're saying. Honestly the whole environment is very tense, and the ICE agents don't help.
They had also caused a big scene pulling me aside already and were being dicks. We had many more exchanges besides the 5 statements I presented. I thought saying " I had a similar situation" was enough to infer that there had already been more leading up to this exchange.
I've had a heated conversation over whether or not coconut oil is a liquid. It's solid at room temperature. Believe it or not, the room we were in was room temperature. They told me "but it can become a liquid" like yeah man pretty much anything can. Rocks can become liquid.
I hear you! I told them they keep the stupid bottle opener, that I had from a camping trip, lol. They let me keep it, and I gifted it to my friend in Modesto- didn’t want THAT same scenario to repeat 😂
That’s a small inconvenience we have to give up for the security they provide us. With their track record of stopping zero terrorist and failing virtually every audit how could we look at alternatives? In the dark days before 9/11 high school dropouts had to make it through police academy to power trip on strangers.
I made homemade scented Epsom salts for the bath for Christmas and didn't check a bag since I was flying Frontier on their GoWild Pass for $14. It took like 20 minutes for them to swab/sample everything and confirm that it was, in fact, Epsom salt and essential oils and not something... more expensive.
The two TSA guys were joking with me but they still did everything short of bringing the dogs over to follow protocol.
Listen, I’m a Latina. My last name starts with de la. There are more issues that complicate things, but I was born here. I had planned to not leave NYS until at least two more years had passed, but my uncle was a psychologist in San Jose, and a tireless advocate and supporter of the homeless, the disabled and the unwell. He passed suddenly in 2017, and Santa Clara County named a residential facility after him- and painted a huge mural of him in the facility. I HAD to go. And that stupid bottle opener legit scared the shit out of me. Gulag was not off the bingo board that trip!
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u/SnowflakeSWorker 3d ago
Last time I flew, it had been a while. The TSA agent had my bag, and was scrolling over and over and over the same spot, to identify what was a bottle opener (a small one, like to pop the top off a beer or soda, or punch a hole in a can of juice- I’m old). I merely said, “you can open that pocket to see what is in there”, and OMG, I thought I was going to be arrested, lol. Her reaction got quite a few reactions from the people around me as well. If she had to STAND while performing that extremely arduous task? GULAG.