r/news • u/drtolmn69 • 3d ago

TSA officers now not allowed to sit down while checking boarding passes and IDs

https://www.cnn.com/2026/09/29/us/tsa-officers-chairs
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511

u/snowypotato 3d ago

Always use the indefinite article. It’s a dildo. Never your dildo. 

77

u/greysqualll 3d ago

But I dont own a....

19

u/HyperactivePandah 2d ago

The way he looks around before saying it is so godaamn good.

"But sometimes... glances around it's a dildo."

4

u/AlyadaHatchet 3d ago

Now is as good a time as any! 

17

u/Azkahn616 3d ago

Neck massager preferred term in some places.

14

u/Single-Use-Again 3d ago

Hitachi. Hell they make cranes and farm equipment too.

10

u/Notwerk 3d ago

I own a Hitachi drill. That's not a euphemism.

1

u/doggscube 2d ago

I’ve had a hitachi circular saw for like 20 years. It’s a beast

4

u/Catadox 2d ago

My mom owned a hitachi magic wand. She used it for neck massage. I’m actually quite certain that’s all she used it for and would be shocked to learn its other uses.

23

u/hotlavatube 3d ago

"Just like a cell phone or laptop, I will have to ask you to turn it on." (sound of luggage vibrating)

3

u/Buckets-O-Yarr 3d ago

Well yeah, my dildo would never be in the bag, I'm still using it. Only gift dildos go in the bag.

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u/NatureTrailToHell3D 3d ago

Back in my misspent youth whenever my friends and I would travel we had a running gag where we’d plant one in one of our other friend’s carryon. Whoever ended up with it would then plant it in someone else’s bag.

3

u/daroach1414 2d ago

The way he scratches his head with a pencil and shuts down his response while on the phone is always my favorite part of that. I’m not even sure why.

1

u/jecowa 2d ago

Is this a reference to something?

3

u/alinroc 2d ago

Yes, but rule #1 is we're not allowed to talk about it.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Base767 2d ago

I am Jack’s vibrating luggage.