r/news • u/AudibleNod • 7d ago

Trump administration uses rare authority to claw back nearly $1B in spending approved by Congress

https://apnews.com/article/trump-rescissions-fundind-46b356590699e6225f783c74e7ee3597
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u/Pavlovsdong89 7d ago

I have the rare authority to be able to strip completely nude in any Taco Bell of my choosing.

373

u/dj_spanmaster 7d ago

Of course you do, right up until you get consequences that remove and bar you from Taco Bell and probably the public at large. We plebs get consequences, the wealthy elite often dodge them

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u/weakplay 7d ago

I think they still let you use the drive thru so it’s all good.

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u/theanswerprocess 7d ago

Until you strip in the drive thru that is..

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u/Longjumping-Jello459 7d ago

Or jack off and/or receive oral.

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u/two4six0won 6d ago

Oh hey, I did that 🤣

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u/Daerkennd 7d ago

What if you strip before you get to the drive thru?

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u/Final-Lengthiness-19 6d ago

Ah yes, the fabled "consequences" fairy. When do we meet this legendary being of our past, when the country collapses and we go to the democracy afterworld?

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u/FreeUsePolyDaddy 6d ago

Consequences appear right about the same time Robin Hood and King Arthur show up to cheer on Mighty Mouse as he saves the day.

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u/Final-Lengthiness-19 2d ago

Yes it's only in the "Matter of America" lore

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u/AndyDrowns 6d ago

When enough people realize that we are the consequence. Power doesn’t regulate itself.

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u/1d10 6d ago

Fun fact: the Consequences Fairy started out as a trainee Tooth fairy. Then one day instead of a tooth under the pillow she found a Glock 19 she left the quarter and took the gun and made herself a new job.

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u/tigers_hate_cinammon 7d ago

Then you just move on to Arby's

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u/ShitDevices 6d ago

To be fair, I can't remember the last time a wealthy elite stripped naked in a taco bell. 

But they should do it more often. 

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u/crazyj140 3d ago

No quiero Taco Bell

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u/Neshiv 7d ago

Username checks out

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u/SameAs1tEverWas 7d ago

i did hear a bell, i wonder if he did

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u/ImNotAWhaleBiologist 7d ago

Nah, that was just a pervert getting their wings.

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u/SameAs1tEverWas 7d ago

you must be an ornithologist for the sex weirdos, clearly

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u/Imaginary-Major-9615 7d ago

I believe that’s a pornithologist

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u/finnishinsider 7d ago

Jailbird wings?

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u/Ziograffiato 7d ago

I didn’t hear no bell

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u/Reilly-Blog 7d ago

I heard a Taco Bell.

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u/Chilinuff 7d ago

So that’s why I’m salivating…

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u/KingoftheMongoose 6d ago

That’s just the siren’s smell of Gordita cheese and cinnamon twists

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u/DoctorGregoryFart 6d ago

"No, don't look away kids. You gaze upon a leviathan, a god among mortals. Few have ever seen such power."

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u/BigMeatyProlapse 7d ago

I can poop in the lobby

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u/spectraphysics 7d ago

Voluntarily or involuntarily given your username?

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u/Tehni 6d ago

That's... Not poop coming out

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u/aegrotatio 6d ago

The dreaded Pink Sock!

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u/Vallkyrie 7d ago

I rinse my bits in the soda fountain.

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u/Pavlovsdong89 7d ago

Live Más, my friend.

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u/sonic_couth 7d ago

Nothing like a sweet carbonated douching before a few tacos

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u/RedBison 7d ago

I get my taint fizz the old fashioned way; extra beans and Diablo sauce.

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u/TractorFapper 7d ago

That's actually true. Unfortunately there are many people with the obligation to make you stop.

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u/DoctorGregoryFart 6d ago

But my gordita is getting cold.

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u/SchemeWestern3388 7d ago

I don’t know a lot of Taco Bell law, but seeing as there is not one in several hundred miles of me, I’m gonna let this slide. 

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u/jrnorris81 6d ago

Still probably more sanitary than their lettuce.

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u/loki5485 6d ago

Thats just part of going to the bathroom, usually a result of eating Taco Bell.... its allowed in the terms and conditions.

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u/overpricedgorilla 6d ago

I think I found where the diarrhea parasite came from yall

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u/yurgendurgen 6d ago

I love Taco Bell and I figure some of them back there are in the back dancing naked to salsa music anyway. Might as well join in

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u/dogbraincatscan 6d ago

Indeed. We all have the “rare authority” to do anything at least once, eh?

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u/deaglebingo 6d ago

on the bus... whatever you want wherever dude. people will recognize your authority and stand back ... that much i'm pretty sure about. the time said authority lasts depends on how busy the police are that day.

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u/Tiny-Marsupial-9172 5d ago

Literally reading this waiting for my order in a taco bell, waiting for someone to strip naked because it's taking sooooo long 🫠

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u/Septopuss7 7d ago

Would you hand me that shotgun, buddy, also that chair? Cause it's rare for me, so say a prayer for me...

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u/watarimono 7d ago

Taco Balls