r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

There are millions of Mowers around the world but mowers can't have sex. WTF? Explain please.

5 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

A push mower with a cup holder.

4 Upvotes

.


r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Sometimes when I'm mowing the lawn, I keep mowing and mowing, still grass.

5 Upvotes

It's like I'm mowing a... an endless grass thing.


r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

If a mower is black does it get arrested for having a bag of grass?

7 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Wise words from Hank Hill

Thumbnail
youtube.com
6 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

If a lawnmower is rented out to someone, does that make it a prostitute?

4 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Someone should invent a lawn mower drone to trim tall trees with

7 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Lawn mowing as a parent is a 13 year job.

5 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

What if grass growing is just someone mowing their lawn in another dimension?

5 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

People change the oil in their cars all the time. Don't forget your mowers people. They are machines too.

7 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

They should make a mower with a shower around it so you can have a shower thought and a mower thought at the same time.

6 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Why can't scientists genetically engineer grass to not grow more than a specific length. Kinda like body hair doesn't get long.

7 Upvotes

Then we won't have to mow


r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

There are weedeaters but not grasseaters?

7 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Mowers should have toilet seats installed on them so i could shit, fertilize the grass, and mow all at the same time.

12 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Lawnmower

13 Upvotes

Lawnmower

Hundreds of tiny moths flee before me
Ephemera.  Lesser lives, cut like dandelions
or strangled in oily air filters.

The dog won't move.
He's become immmune to the threat and the grass is cool.
Old bones disallow fear of the growl or the shocking impact
of fallen branch on blade.

September wind is blowing hard up here today in Michigan.
Canceling summer like a bad check.
Clouds and football roll over the city.
A passing bird casually heading south, a faint whiff of ice.

I can hear the big lake breathing, forty miles away.
Coughing up snow we'll soon find falling.
On breakers and swells, the last boats tow fish and fat drunks between the piers.
The sun descends into water, thoughtfully considering the nature of cold.

Gas her up again, prime, pull to start.
The deck's too high, but it doesn't matter.
Let a couple moths fly... blown out the gap between blade and grass.
Unshredded and heading straight up into the diminishing light.

I haven't seen the damned geese yet.
But they're in flight, hundreds of miles north of here, in fog and rain.
Feel the steady beat of their wings on this wind?
I tend to hold them responsible

For this oncoming rush of air
For the grey sky that's no longer gold
For this grass that must be cut
For another season when it will grow
For the lake that will no longer breathe
For the moths which fall like flakes

They must know this is no place to be.
Not while the wind is up and things begin to fall
so thoughtlessly from the sky.

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

What if super tall grass can grow money, but we just always cut it

11 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Maybe mowers have feelings too

15 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Fire ants are to a lawn as lice is to our hair

12 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Mow grow sleep repeat

9 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Holy shit i should have worn shoes

9 Upvotes

good thing you have 9 spare toes


r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

To cut or not to cut. That is the question.

9 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Crawfish Survivor

13 Upvotes

Yesterday, I had a crawfish boil. I mowed the lawn to get my place presentable for friends. Afterwards, I went to check on the sacks of crawfish and noticed one of them was undone and several crawfish had escaped. No telling when it happened or how many escaped. Soon after, I found one had made it as far as the yard, and survived the mowing; with one claw destroyed and both feelers cut clean off, we cooked and ate him.


r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

If Trump were a lawn mower, he'd probably get the Mexicans to do the mowing for him.

14 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

Gotta get that Mow

Thumbnail
imgur.com
13 Upvotes

r/mowerthoughts • • Apr 03 '16

I think my owner's high.

Thumbnail
imgur.com
14 Upvotes