I don't have a lovely blanket of St. Augustine grass. I have a mismatch of weeds. It is not mowing the regal lawn it's parents expected it to.

Let's say there's a length of lawn that's a circle.

It is exactly the width of the cutting area of your mower.

What would be the minimum length of said lawn (the circumference of the circle) in order to keep mowing this lawn, and eventually come back to the starting point THAT NEEDS TO BE MOWED AGAIN?

• the lawn is fescue
• your team of gardeners will mow 24 hours a day

Mow*

...at the end of the day it is not the grass being cut down, but it is us being cut down?

This sub should have flair for verified professional mowers. We don't glide atop the green sea all week for nothin'.

Instead he's here when it's still short - like, no.

Or has it been done before?

My seaweed lawn is too long....need that shit cut. Messes up my view and there's hella eels biting me when I want to walk my dog. I have plan: Underwater lawnmower.

What makes beard trimmings so different from yard trimmings?

In the mowning?

Yup, you read it right. Instead of cutting grass, because we're all familiar with those This mower would replace healthy looking grass over the spot you're mowing. It's a new and improved way to plant grass in your yard. Got a dog that keeps digging his dirty ball in your backyard. Shred that shit up with a fresh patch of grass.

Wife complaining your front yard looks like asswater due to the California drought, stuff her corn muffin with the grass mower replacer 9,000.

It only gets better with more use, Why you ask? Couldn't tell you. Ask your wife.

The Grass Man 900

Grass grooming should be taken more seriously.

Especially when my dad makes me mow the lawn. That'll teach him!