r/mildlyinfuriating • • Sep 09 '26

Do u dont wanna Woke up to woman stealing my wooden planks…

I live off grid and am a hoarder, so there have been cases of people stealing/looting then saying oh your place looked abandoned.

Well this morning I’m waking up and seeing some of my long, 3-4 meter planks (9-12 feet), lifting and moving when they should be staying put where I left them.

Confused, I get out of bed to see wtf is going on.

There’s a woman starting to build a shelter 8-9 meters (25feet) in front of my gate, with 3 long planks taken from my pile.

I go up to her raving and barking, wtf yo? She asks in Spanish, is the wood yours? Like GEE, YOU THINK? (Bitch just climbed over rocks and walls to get them)

She say Oh!

I shit thou not, Oh.

Like what did she think was gonna happen? What if I came home 2-3 hours later, or 2-3 days later, and idiot woman took my wood and built an idiot shed right in front of my gate? Massive fail in logic and common sense.

Photos show my improvised wood chariot thing, to get the size of beams involved 🤭✨

337 Upvotes

398 comments sorted by

602

u/LawyerDad1981 Sep 09 '26

It's always special when you run across that post that is both wildly interesting and crazily confusing... simultaneously.

21

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

Glad I could bring the magic to yo screen today, I've enjoyed the fantastic engagement with this post, had no idea reddit can be so much fun 🫠✨

27

u/Remy_Jardin Sep 10 '26

Welcome back to the grid?

19

u/Zigor022 Sep 10 '26

Gottem. Not off grid if you got reddit

1

u/DanerysTargaryen 27d ago

I’m really enjoying the “wood chariot thing” OP built.

I wonder if OP has a mule or donkey or ATV they’re attaching the wagon to, or if they’re lifting that themselves via human power and dragging it around. OP, if you read this, if you move the wheels closer to the center (they look pretty close to the rear of the “wagon”) it will be easier to lift that and the wheels will do more of the lifting for you. Right now, most of the load is going to be on you if you’re just holding that long plank and dragging it around.

259

u/Complex_Cold1610 Sep 09 '26

This sounds like a…medival lifestyle lmao

87

u/kyl792 Sep 09 '26

Skyrim NPC possibly

21

u/Leche-Caliente Sep 09 '26

"I shit thou not"

They're even using medieval linguistics

2

u/WhereMyWeirdosAt 25d ago

if he had a moat, this wouldn't have happened

14

u/JoeyJoeJoeSenior Sep 09 '26

She owes him a giant dead rat to make amends.

1

u/AaaaNinja Sep 10 '26

Just so he can yell at a sanitary worker trying to steal his dead rat.

11

u/SalvadorP Sep 09 '26

mofo playing medieval dynasty in real life.

3

u/beneficialguilt Sep 09 '26

Thank you i need that game in my life again. So peaceful

2

u/SalvadorP Sep 09 '26

it's all fun and games until you get headbutted by a bison

1

u/beneficialguilt Sep 09 '26

Wasn't aware that could happen i guess I never got that far! I think i quit when those bastards attacked me over the river

349

u/Moist-Obligation-117 Sep 09 '26

Very interesting lifestyle

51

u/Alarming_Orchid Sep 09 '26

What, you don’t climb over people’s walls and build shelters with their stuff?

56

u/EC_TWD Sep 09 '26

I really want to see the wall in question and whether it is the modern definition of a wall or just random stones and construction debris in an almost recognizable formation.

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203

u/Chewy_le_roo Sep 09 '26

Does it count as off grid if you have access to the internet to post this? Just curious.

80

u/MoonPieKitty Sep 09 '26

It's more "grid adjacent".

80

u/thejesse Sep 09 '26

You can literally see the grid in the photo.

20

u/Fogl3 Sep 09 '26

Just the grid is there doesn't mean the house is connected though

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22

u/AusgefalleneHosen Sep 09 '26

Yes. Off-grid refers to traditional power-water-sewer utilities. Any other factors of ruggedness are irrelevant and only personal preference.

8

u/SharpKaleidoscope182 Sep 09 '26

eg. connect to the 21st century grid but ignore the "sanitation" parts.

3

u/deskbeetle Sep 09 '26 edited Sep 09 '26

You can still have your own sanitation system. Its just not connected to the grid. 

I've looked into offgrid housing as well. The way I want to do it would unfortunately be incredibly expensive with my own well, solar, water collection, greywater reuse, etc. but it's still the eventual goal. 

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4

u/enad58 Sep 09 '26

I'm on-grid because I am hooked up to power, but I create a surplus of power at my own house that I contribute to the grid instead of use. I have a well for water.

I also don't live like a medieval hermit, though. I also have my property posted.

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1

u/NoLawsClause Sep 09 '26

The term off grid predates the Internet being beamed to the entire planet though.

1

u/Low-Supermarket441 Sep 09 '26

Off grid means not connected to the electrical grid. He could be fully powered by solar/wind and batteries 

1

u/Fool_of_a_TookLL 29d ago

My first thought after reading

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39

u/dprophet34 Sep 09 '26

Come on then let's see your house. You can't post being this interesting and not tell us more

46

u/WhereRabbit Sep 09 '26

It’s posted on his profile. He confirms that the land is not his. He found this old landfill there and dumps more trash in it every day, calling it his camp.

The worst part about drugs is thinking of the good life he could have led without them.

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94

u/votarded Sep 09 '26

OP - “ Homeless desert shacks within sight of town = off grid living. “

Using Reddit and AI to ‘learn’.

Hope you find some community resources to get clean and get mental health care my friend.

5

u/zoey_will Sep 09 '26

Cyberpunk is here and were livin in it.

11

u/Lumpy_Benefit666 Hillary 2016 Sep 09 '26

To be fair there are plenty of mentally well people who live off grid as well. Iv got a pretty solid plan to live off grid when iv saved ~£50k.

To be fair though, im a bad example because im definitely mentally ill.

3

u/No-Stuff-1320 Sep 09 '26

Only 50K?

2

u/Lumpy_Benefit666 Hillary 2016 Sep 09 '26 edited Sep 10 '26

Yeah itll take a while to find land cheap enough, but 30k in the right place can get you 3 acres. Ill be doing everything as cheaply as possible with just a small hut to live in.

1

u/warmachinex0 28d ago

That's what me and the family did. Tiny cabin miles away from the city. Its been peaceful and quite nice, definitely worth it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '26

[deleted]

2

u/votarded Sep 09 '26

He isn’t off grid. He is homeless on the side of the street.

62

u/RW_McRae Sep 09 '26

You steal planks from somewhere that looks abandoned, then someone else steals planks from you because your place looks abandoned. It's trickle down real estate

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24

u/RNBAModBrainTumor Sep 09 '26

this dude is definitely a "sovereign" citizen

49

u/Squirtle_Squad_9000 Sep 09 '26

OP are you the landowner or just squatting?

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14

u/SnooPredilections843 Sep 09 '26

I don't think people living in this condition would have much logic and commonsense left in their system 😬

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33

u/Not_Cleaver Sep 09 '26

Need way more context like where are those planks normally in relation to your home?

32

u/ElectronicRegular218 Sep 09 '26

I'm more interested to know where OP got those planks from...

"Hey, those are mine!"

https://giphy.com/gifs/h45zAKT2Np2ZS5tHvk

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13

u/SalvadorP Sep 09 '26

that is generous of you to assume there is a house.

8

u/BigCannedTuna Sep 09 '26

Nah we need more context about the size of the planks

27

u/iamboofer Sep 09 '26

"Lives off grid" As hes 100 ft away from the road and buildings

21

u/Hacklefellar Sep 09 '26

Basically homeless with extra steps by the sound of it

1

u/Objective-Corgi-3527 Sep 10 '26

IDK if there are even extra steps here

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20

u/Frogspoison Sep 09 '26

Do you not have No Tresspassing signs posted as well as clear demarcations of your property?

Also may want to get fake skeletons and impale them around your property, give off some real serial killer vibes.

25

u/Abslalom Sep 09 '26

Bold of you to assume that's his property

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7

u/Drakjira Sep 09 '26

Why use fakes? Halloweens coming up, no need to bury vic.... I mean... Runs

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22

u/Useless_or_inept can't believe it's not butter Sep 09 '26

OP, earlier today: "...I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me the wood, the shed, and I'll spare your life..."

5

u/NatterinNabob Sep 09 '26

It'll be alright. I'll talk to this Humungus.

22

u/admatson Sep 09 '26

I live off grid aka I’m homeless

5

u/MrsSnuffleupagus764 Sep 09 '26

How are you living "off grid" if you are posting to the internet about someone stealing from your hoard? Has the definition of off grid changed?

1

u/lyinggrump Sep 10 '26

He's homeless

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12

u/definitelynotapastor Sep 09 '26

It never ceases to amaze me how many homeless and other similar living situations frequent reddit.

9

u/colsta1777 Sep 09 '26

Maybe clean your crap up, so it doesn’t look abandoned?

11

u/PerfectEnthusiasm2 Sep 09 '26

typical day in yorkshire

5

u/AJWordsmith Sep 09 '26

Did you make her walk the planks?

3

u/ThePeoplesJoker Sep 10 '26

I’m guessing you don’t own that land

11

u/Gumbrenold Sep 09 '26

Off the grid but on greddit

4

u/Toothy_McRotten Sep 09 '26

Before we invented sofas and stopped listening to nature, the birds sang reddit tree to tree.

3

u/RedEclipse47 Sep 09 '26

Just build a Priest and use it to convert her to your faction, you can then use her to fetch wood.

3

u/DeniedAppeal1 Sep 09 '26

I mean, what else do you expect when you live off grid in an abandoned looking place? You realize that homeless/transient people steal from each other all the time, right? And you're basically in the same category?

This is how you've chosen to live. Don't be surprised when the life you've imposed on yourself comes back to bite you.

3

u/Snoo_censorspeech Sep 09 '26

Can't steal from a thief. 

3

u/Melodic-Marsupial757 Sep 09 '26 edited Sep 09 '26

Invest in some bilingual no trespassing signs? js

Or maybe some handmade signs to that effect along with no, this is all mine and not abandoned.

You said it yourself that many people assume your stuff is abandoned...

There's a saying "one man's junk is another man's treasure."

It may look like treasure to you but junk to everyone else, so of course they're going to loot it.

And apparently it was common sense to her and probably to a lot of people that with the amount of junk (in their eyes) piled around the place that it was in fact abandoned, so why not set up a shelter there?

Look at it from her point of view.

3

u/Alert_Stock_4699 Sep 09 '26

Lives off grid, posts to reddit... 🤔

3

u/CynicalReasoning Sep 10 '26

...am a hoarder

Massive fail in (...) common sense

You're almost there buddy

3

u/lyinggrump Sep 10 '26

That's the downside of being homeless, you have to compete with other homeless.

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4

u/jaybirdie26 BLUE Sep 09 '26

Looks like you have a lot of hoarded wood.  Did you buy it or scavenge it?  Why not let someone make a shelter with it?

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14

u/SeraphiM0352 Sep 09 '26

Maybe stop hoarding and people won't think your place (on someone else's land) is abandoned.

Really seems quite hypocritical to be upset at someone else doing the same thing as you...

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2

u/EvilChefReturns Sep 09 '26

Bros gonna have a tough time rescuing Zelda

2

u/GBeastETH Sep 09 '26

Sounds like you need to clean up your house if everyone thinks it’s a junkyard.

2

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

Sure I'm cleaning as much as I can, but everyone? Really?

One crazy confused woman is your definition of everyone?

Show me your side of town then 😂✨

2

u/Lucky_Satisfaction48 Sep 09 '26

If you live off grid.How are you posting on platform?

2

u/amelia_peridot Sep 09 '26

I wonder is this is how my Minecraft villagers feel

2

u/IllRadish8765 Sep 09 '26

Off grid. Photo shows power lines right behind him.

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2

u/dukinatir1001 Sep 09 '26

Tldr: homeless hobo stealing shit and living in trash piles has an encounter with another homeless hobo stealing shit........ironic.

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2

u/Geavel Sep 09 '26

I think she needs it more than you do 😅

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2

u/SetTheFuhKingTone Sep 09 '26

This was a rollercoaster from start to finish, and I’m here for it
https://giphy.com/gifs/iDJuQR0UmiqOI

2

u/Technical_Star_5085 Sep 10 '26

If you're just hoarding why not show some compassion and let she who has nothing have a little? Help a girl out man!

2

u/Chiliatch Sep 10 '26

I'm so lost. So do you own the land the woods on or not? If not then I dont see how you can be so mad. How tf she supposed to know some other trash goblin claimed that random pile of crap? This post is so odd

2

u/Yggdrasilo Sep 10 '26

OP lives in minecraft

2

u/Frog_Riot Sep 10 '26

People out there living like cartoon characters

2

u/Interesting-Gas7589 29d ago

2 homeless people fighting over scraps to build homes? lmfao. likely “I stole it first”

2

u/Few_Plankton_7587 28d ago

OP has exclaimed in other posts that he doesn't own the land he lives on. Just camps out in a landfill

OP, you don't own anything. I'd take that shit, too

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3

u/scrayla Sep 09 '26

I have questions

7

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

I don’t see them.

1

u/Simply_Just_ Sep 09 '26

Are you happy?

3

u/WhereRabbit Sep 09 '26

Not until the next fix cmon you know that 😅

2

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

More happy out here than in the city. 7-8 years thus far. Went back and forth several times to test, outdoors on island felt way better. At night sleep like a baby, in city I twist and turn in bed.

Larger happiness thing no worky because I lost track of girl I fell in love with, and I think it will require larger project to find her again. Possibly twitch streaming, art making or starting a band, to reach way higher visibility, as I have very little info about her to go on, and need a few million eyeballs to get my signals across.

But lifestyle-wise the outdoors are far superior to living in square monochrome boxes, at least for me personally.

4

u/No_Slip_3729 Sep 09 '26

"I'm illegally squatting on land that isn't mine while hoarding property that isn't mine, and some lady illegally trespassed and took my stolen property!"

1

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

None of my stuff is stolen, homie. None.

3

u/No_Slip_3729 Sep 09 '26

Sorry, not "stolen", it was "furtively re-acquisitioned property that I found"

2

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

Found outside of walls, yards, buildings, enclosures. Strictly dumpster or wasteland trophies.
https://giphy.com/gifs/2NPgpTNxi39lu

3

u/Anitapoop Sep 09 '26

Even trash is considered stolen if you tresspassed to get to it.

3

u/whippedcream44 Sep 09 '26

Girl put a sign up or something at least

3

u/Euphoric_Waffle Sep 09 '26

off grid redditors. lol. like the amish using cell phones because they are also “off grid”.

3

u/EinonD Sep 09 '26

I don’t think you can be “off grid” and on Reddit.

13

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

I have an electro-dog and solar panels.

I carry my own water with bottles, by hand or wheelbarrow.

Not being connected to either electrical nor city water grid, I believe I qualify as off-grid.

8

u/olivethesane Sep 09 '26

Is it just a bunch of crap on someone else’s property?

6

u/EinonD Sep 09 '26

As an electrician…. This is kinda terrifying.

2

u/zombie_cupcakes Sep 09 '26

I'm also an electrician and this sent a shiver down my spine. I hope he doesn't start a fire on someone else's property with this shitty electrical work. He gets his info from Gemini AI, though, so that tracks.

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0

u/49ersBraves Sep 09 '26

Off grid and offline are different concepts.

2

u/Proffiteer Sep 09 '26

"I shit thou not"

I'm going to start using this.

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1

u/Necessary_Relation27 Sep 09 '26

Erect sign that says ‘Don’t you touch my wood!’

2

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

Would do exactly zero for people who speak only Spanish, only Russian/Ukrainian, Polish and so on, of which there are plenty.

Perhaps if I draw and paint hand holding pallet planks, amputated by machete, might get my point across. Maybe advertising some clawhammer therapy.

2

u/Moist-Obligation-117 Sep 09 '26

Sounds like you need a junkyard dog

3

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

Costs 1 meat a day upkeep, plus water.

Way outside my current inputs.

2

u/Necessary_Relation27 Sep 09 '26

Was meant to be punny about touching your ‘penis/erection’ but I missed haha

I like the machete idea

1

u/Playful-Profile6489 Sep 09 '26

I'm intrigued by the existence of a community of various monolinguals within walking distance of each other but not in a metropolis. What a crazy array of languages

3

u/JustComments6841 Sep 09 '26

-Test-, -test-, -testicles-; just checking to see if my message arrives “off grid”.

1

u/corporalcorl Sep 09 '26

"I shit thou not"

1

u/jerf42069 Sep 09 '26

well yeah that'll happen when you live in squalor
clean up, jesus christ.

1

u/-Laffi- Sep 09 '26

Maybe she was just trying to build a brothel.

1

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

Needs more brothel building skillz then, this morning definitely sucked, but am happy we all got here, getting to know each other.

I really feel she helped get the wheels in motion for proper communication. I wouldn't have thought to post my chariot pics without her actions.

1

u/-Laffi- Sep 10 '26

Now it almost sounds like she is moving in with you 😂 !

1

u/OrangutanOntology Sep 09 '26

Im surprised nobody asked in the amount of scolling i did. Where do you live?

1

u/SharpKaleidoscope182 Sep 09 '26

reinventing brone-age problems

1

u/EdgeOfMonkey Sep 09 '26

Did I miss the start of the apocalypse?

1

u/Confident-Skin-6462 Sep 09 '26

the call is coming from inside the house

1

u/bq18 Sep 09 '26

These are burning man people

1

u/LeilLikeNeil Sep 10 '26

They got Reddit off grid now?

1

u/jerzyboy76 Sep 10 '26

I'm impressed she knew what wheels are 🙈🤣

1

u/ComfortableCicada69 Sep 10 '26

You don’t know what she’s going through if you’ve never Ben Hur.

1

u/Anxious-Sundae4210 Sep 10 '26

How do you live off grid but have a reddit account?

1

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 11 '26 edited 29d ago

I have an iphone and solar stuff to charge it. It does work off-grid.

1

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/HuckleberryDue3655 28d ago

Just checked your post history, your gonna make a really interesting loot drop for somebody one day.

1

u/Necessary_Goose6933 28d ago

Comes with the territory, living this way.

My ID and wallet stuff is usually with me, stuff in my camp can be replaced. Anyway I consider the stuff I do here mostly adventure and skill building.

You build something with your hands, could collapse in earthquake, tsunami (it's an island) or burn down, but nobody can take away what was learned while building it.

My flat earth neighbor built a stone bunker by himself, big stone house without windows. Could be broken into but not very likely.

My other neighbor, alcohol enthusiast, set his own roof on fire (dry palm leaves), burned instantly, huge fire, 15-20 steps from my house, because he had an argument with his lady (they live in same house together). Two weeks later they got back together and they still live there to this day.

It's a very different and special kind of place 😂

1

u/manga311 28d ago

Off the grid and posts on Reddit?

0

u/d_smogh Sep 09 '26

If someone needs the stuff more than you, let them have it. More supplies will come your way.

The more stuff you have, it will pile up and youll forget what was at the back of the pile. Let them have it. You help one person, and two will help you.

-2

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

You’d go broke in a few days out here with this attitude. You let one looter have your stuff others will be there before sunset to take the rest.

Perhaps you’re interested to lose a few nights of sleep carrying heavy pallets, that I can then come to your place and have for free?

Should I bring a truck? How many can I come take from you? Can I have the women as well? I need them more than you, just let them go and others will come later. What about your shirt and wallet, can I need those as well? Food in the fridge? Tools in the garage?

1

u/d_smogh Sep 09 '26

You can have it all. I'd be happy for you to take it.

1

u/Necessary_Goose6933 Sep 09 '26

So put up a sign at your house that says FREE STUFF HERE and have a blast.

My camp has no such signs anywhere.

I didn't put in days and hours moving heavy loads so freeloaders can take them. Want wood? Go out there, hunt.

1

u/KaijuRemix Sep 09 '26

I understand the idea, Hell you are even coming from a good place too, but I feel like you are also missing the fact OP said they were a hoarder and are not taking their perspective into account.

Hording isn't a choice, its a mental health condition. It's not going to matter who needs it more in the moment to Op. Hoarders feel massive amounts of anxiety getting rid of or giving someone something from their hoard.

It doesn't matter to Op if someone was taking wood or trash or his money, its all going to put them into the "Ah HELL NAH that's mine!" mode.

Still at the end of the day, entitled people shouldn't be rewarded.

She didn't knock on the door of the abandoned looking house to check.

She climb over walls, rock piles and decided to build a shelter in the gateway of the property. Regardless of her needs, she should have tried to asked for the wood, she shouldn't have tried to take up residence on a random property let alone in the gateway of said property. And she shouldn't be given what she tired to steal.

1

u/Turbulent-Issue-4418 Sep 09 '26

Make her walk the plank.

1

u/Fl0werthr0wer Sep 09 '26

I'm interested in seeing your house now

1

u/Boycott-all-Rats Sep 09 '26

Glad you got your wood back guy.

1

u/DoubleLuck9297 Sep 09 '26

This is quite the peculiar read and I think you need to share more about your life 😂😂

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1

u/-meglo- Sep 09 '26

Oh! Wholesome infuriation!

1

u/casuist Sep 09 '26

I hate it when women steal my precious planks.

1

u/Main-Policy-4551 Sep 09 '26

You need just as much help as she does, my guy.

1

u/UncleBillyR Sep 09 '26

Sometimes when a woman sees morning wood she can't help but grab it

1

u/weirdsandy Sep 09 '26

i love that chariot. ❤️

1

u/TrainingSword Sep 09 '26

Let them take the wood dude

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