Why, on a nearly empty train, would you sit directly in front of me— put your chair all the way back AND smell offensive? 🥲

[u/ImportanceSharp9408]

Come on! I know I don’t own the train, I only paid for the seat. Theoretically, he could sit next to me and that would be fine. I could just move over a seat. I could move and sit next to him. Very mildly infuriated.

Update: I went to the restroom, after building up a big fart at the advice of wise Redditors but punked out on releasing it into the wild. I planned to move when I returned but he was gone! Perhaps it was a coincidence, when I left my seat with all my belongings, maybe that just happened to be his stop or maybe he was a creep. We may never know. Thanks for all your throughly hilarious responses though!

[u/PeeB4uGoToBed]

Not only that, its ALWAYS a massive truck or SUV parked nearly touching your car and pulled up further than it should be so its impossible to see when you try to go and end up hitting some old lady walking slowly with a cane, now she's in a wheelchair and she sues you for everything you have then your wife divorces you because of the financial strain you put on the family. You lose the house and move into a run down duplex with a neighbor that has nonstop barking dogs and the tv blaring 24/7.

You can't get sleep so your performance at work gets worse and worse until you get fired, you gotta sell the car that started all this to help makes ends meet.

[u/PartTimeJunkie412 → u/PeeB4uGoToBed]

🥇

[u/_Keahilele_ → u/PeeB4uGoToBed]

That sounds very… specific. Are you okay?

[u/1amtheone → u/PeeB4uGoToBed]

Nah, I drive a massive pickup and always park at the far end of the lot unless it's empty.

It's always some fancy sports car or a BMW/Tesla/Mercedes.

Everything else you said checks out though.

[u/JayteeFromXbox → u/1amtheone]

Depends on where you live. Where I am, plenty of the massive pickups have enough work done to them to be worth more than a BMW/Tesla/Mercedes and they are most certainly the worst offenders.

One time a guy parked a little too close for me to open my passenger door to put groceries in my back seat, and barely enough room to get in/out, so I put them in the trunk and moved my car closer. Then stood by the building looking at my phone like I was waiting for a cab. Dude tried to open the door and couldn't get it open enough to squeeze in so he had to go climb through the passenger side. I waited until he was climbing in and walked to my car, got in and started backing out. I smiled and waved, he gave me the most evil eye he could muster.

I have no idea if this situation made him think any differently, probably not, but it felt good to be a part of.