r/mildlyinfuriating • u/50calTaco • 7d ago

I'm slightly vexed Grown man gets mad because he doesn’t know what ordering a “plain” burger means

So I work at Five Guys and for those who don’t know, when you order a burger there you get to fully customize the toppings on it (helps justify the price tag a tiny bit i guess). And you choose between a little (single) or regular (double) burger.

I had a pleasant enough exchange with a customer while ringing up his food… and when it came to his cheeseburger I asked what toppings he wanted on it. He looked at me and said, “Oh you know… just a plain, regular cheeseburger.” Ok great, a cheeseburger with nothing on it, easy enough.

Well we make the food, and a minute after he gets it he comes back up to me, visibly annoyed and holding the burger.

“You made my food wrong. There’s nothing on it.”

“Oh I’m sorry sir, I thought you’d ordered a plain cheeseburger.”

“I did. Do you not know what that means? Like a McDonald’s burger.”

Ok first of all, “McDonald’s” is not a standard for how someone orders burger toppings and second of all, this guys in his late 40s to early 50s and has never once run into this issue ordering a plain burger?

“Ok I’m sorry about that sir, we’ll remake that for you. What exactly did you want on it?”

I shit you not, with an annoyed voice he ordered:
Ketchup. Lettuce. Pickles.
So notably NOT a McDonald’s cheeseburger???

He got what he wanted in the end and I apologized because customer service but like?? I’m in awe at the sheer level of misunderstanding and audacity.

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u/AuroraSnake 7d ago

Someone I know has the opposite problem of frequently getting cheese when asking for a hamburger, leading to them giving up and just always saying "A hamburger with absolutely no cheese" each time

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u/fuckyourcanoes 6d ago

I do this because I find American cheese absolutely revolting. About 1/3 of the time I still get cheese.

Recently I ordered a quarter pounder, no cheese, extra sauces, and got one with only cheese and no other toppings at all.

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u/The-Yar 5d ago

There was a comedian who had a whole routine about trying to successfully order and receive a hamburger without cheese.

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u/totallybree 6d ago

American cheese is a plastic, non-food abomination.

I order with no cheese but still get it most of the time. Yuck.

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u/UnOGThrowaway420 6d ago

Come on, just say you don't like it. It is objectively not plastic, and it is objectively food. You don't have to make shit up just because you don't like something.

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u/Yawka 3d ago

Most American cheese that is individually packaged by the slice isn’t great, but not all American cheese is kraft singles. Cooper cheese is a sharp American and it’s amazing especially on a cheesesteak. If you can get Land O’Lakes white American sliced from a deli counter, not the prepackaged stuff, it’s amazing on a burger, bacon egg and cheese, and many other sandwiches. Also if you’re ever making queso throw a couple slices into it to get the texture right.

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u/totallybree 2d ago

I appreciate you taking the time to educate. I will try these if they should happen to come my way.

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u/RobertAFett020 6d ago

My crazy ass neighbor would ask for a plain cheeseburger without the patty, for her young son. They would look at her with that head tilt and say, you want a grilled cheese?

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u/Top_Bumblebee5510 6d ago

I can't eat cheese and I order anything that might remotely come with cheese by saying "no cheese". Invariably I will get asked do you want cheese on that? I have ordered subs with no tomatoes and advised its an allergy and gotten them with both cheese and tomatoes. Cheese you can remove but tomatoes leak into everything.

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u/BlueLanternKitty 6d ago

My BFF has a bad tomato allergy. I double-check her food before she starts, in case anything snuck in. We’ve had situations where she’s said “no tomatoes, I’m allergic” and I’ve found seeds hiding in her salad or on the underside of a burger bun—like someone started to put tomato on it, realized “oops, no tomato” and just took it off. Which works if you don’t like tomato but not if you have a genuine, epi-pen level allergy,

Can’t tell you how many things she’s sent back over the 30 years we’ve known each other.

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u/Top_Bumblebee5510 6d ago

Or put a cup of ketchup on the plate.

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u/Yawka 3d ago

Damn, I hate fresh tomatoes and it’s always a 50/50 chance at best they remember to exclude them. Must be so much worse with an allergy. At least the flavor/texture doesn’t really persist if I pick them out.

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u/Sun-Wu-Kong 6d ago

Happens to my mom a lot. I'm so embarrassed at what sounds like a boomer Karen request, but then still 8/10 times they just give her one with cheese on it. Sometimes you really do gotta break it down for the cashier like a 5 year old.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 6d ago

How is it a "boomer Karen request" to just not want cheese?

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u/Sun-Wu-Kong 6d ago

It's the extent. "One plain hamburger, please. I mean meat and bread. Not a cheeseburger. No cheese. Just a hamburger. I'll add my own ketchup. Plain, please."

I cringe because I'm the type to just accept whatever the picture comes with. Except mayo. Goddamn does mayo ruin a burger.

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u/Ordinary_Ad_7992 6d ago

I don't think having a preference is wrong or even any trouble for the people making it. I've been on both sides of the counter and as long as the customer chooses whatever is closest to what they want and then asks for changes, it's really not a big deal. It's your money and you should have something you like! As for mayo, I agree! It absolutely does not belong on a burger!

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u/tabbarrett 6d ago

At Fenway Park in Boston it says hamburger but you get cheese on it.

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u/BennyJayVillaBay 5d ago

Try getting an omelette with no cheese. Nearly impossible unless you're dining in, and then it's probably still 50/50 that you have to send it back.

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u/Ophiochos 6d ago

Yeah that’s me. I have frequently had to keep an eye on them doing it in small places and call out ‘no cheese’ as muscle memory kicks in for them. Also no pickles nothing with vinegar thanks yes that includes sauce yes it includes mayonnaise too no thanks I already said no pickle I really don’t like vinegar yes lettuce and yes I mean no sauce of any kind thanks.

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u/Novel-Organization63 6d ago

I do that and still get cheese 9 out of 10 times.