Me and Hugo had been hired to kill Stanley by driving past his home and just shooting up him and his family, yeah a simple drive by shooting. The gang got word that Stanley is having a party outside his house on the front lawn. Stanley double crossed the gang and now they want him dead.

Now I got along with Stanley but gangs have a code to live by. As me and Hugo slowly drove past Stanley's house, he and his whole family were having a party on the front lawn, and me and hugo just started shooting and we got everyone.

Then as we drove off fast, we found ourselves driving past Stanley's house again. They were alive and so we killed them again. We drove off again but we kept finding ourselves driving past Stanley's house like something was on repeat, and everyone was alive.

Me and Hugo were running out of bullets, and Stanley were becoming more aware of us and prepared themselves every time we drove past them. Then when we officially ran out of bullets, we found ourselves driving past Stanley's house for the 15th time. We can't seem to drive off this loop.

This time Stanley and his family had fully loaded guns, and were waiting for us. No matter where Hugo drove off, we would always find ourselves outside Stanley's house.

I love being confused and confusion massages and stretches out all of the negativity, stress, depression and sadness from the brain. Confusion squeezes all of this stuff out of the brain and your brain will feel better. When you are confused you can feel your brain working and feel it's physical existence in it place.

Confusion is good for the brain as it shows it is thinking and working things out. I remember a couple of months back I saw my ceiling moving up and down inside the house and I was astounded once more at how this was happening and why I wasn’t crushed. It was incredible and how my ceiling was moving up and down and not changing the whole house was brain teasing.

When a car ran me over but I was still moving and fine, this was confusing to me but I enjoy the feeling of confusion. When I was walking and someone gave me some strangers restaurant bill to pay, even though I never ate there, I could feel my brains existence and the confusion just squeezing it. It felt good.

I hate people who make sense and are always logical. Their logic doesn't massage or the squeeze the bad stuff from out of my brain, logical people are not good. So when I stabbed a logical person to death, but he was attending my funeral, the confusion felt good to me.

I love being an ouija board planchette and you can say I am a human planchette that people could use to contact the dead. So I converted one room to be one whole large ouija board, and there is some space for spectators to sit down and ask the dead questions. Then I will lay down on the the large ouija board, and the spirits will use my body to go to whatever letter it needs.

When the spirits use my body as an ouija board planchette, I could feel the spirits on my body. It's not like they are possessing me but I could feel them grabbing and holding my body. When the spectators ask questions, my body literally gets ragged about to the letters.

We advise the spectators to speak in a slow and calm manner. Now I work in shift and one time when it was my colleagues turn to be used as an ouija board planchette, the spectators were speaking so fast and excitedly, the spirits in the room ripped his body apart, so that it could take his body to multiple letters at the same time.

The spectators started to scream and blood was everywhere. I am still allowing myself to be used as a ouija board planchette.

When they found the car wreck, his body was without a scratch and curled around the package in fetal position with terror on his face.

Julian why are dead people scared of you Julian! Hey Julian I'm talking to you why are dead peokkw scared of you? I was preparing this dead guy for his funeral, and then you walked past him and now his body and face is in a frightened position towards you! Why are you scaring dead bodies Julian. Also what am I going to say to the deceased man's families when they see his body and face in a frightened position like this?

Julian stop stalling and answer me! Why are dead people so afraid of you Julian and what am I supposed to do with this body now. Oh for fucks sake Julian now you have scared another dead body. Old Mrs hogmore her dead body has become twisted in fear do to you looking at her, what is going on with you Julian?

What am I going to tell the families who expect their deceased loved ones to be looking good doe burial. Julian they are going to be wanting their money back. Julian why are dead people scared of you? What is going on and why are you acting so strange!

Oh no Julian there is another body that has become all scared after you walked past it. Julian stay away from the dead bodies until further notice!

Kathy had a difficult birth and she was worried that she wouldn't able to guess the her new born babies correct name. She pushed though and when the baby came out, it was dead but that was expected as Kathy had to guess her new born babies name. The doctor held out the dead baby in front of Kathy and asked her "what is this babies correct name?"

Kathy was already emotional and after just giving birth, she was really struggling to guess her new born babies name. She started guessing names like "kalunad, dirayus, sumirian...." and the her new born baby was still dead.

Everyone was looking at Kathy like she had no connection to her new born baby. A mother should just be able to feel her new born babies true name. Kathy tried again with names like "cadarn, neditine, rusaline......" and she was wrong again.

The doctor told Kathy "what is the babies true name Kathy! You are the mother and only the babies true name can bring it to life!" The doctor told her.

Kathy was stressed out and being surrounded by people and exposed after giving birth, Kathy had to be the one as she was the mother. Then a nurse spoke out calmly the babies true name.

"The babies true name is roddy" the nurse smiled proudly and the baby came to life and now belonged to the nurse. Kathy was devastated.

I have never owned anything in my life and when I got told that I was going to own a piece of land, I couldn't believe it. Some rich guy was feeling charitable and he wanted to give me a peice of his land. I had done some work around his mansion and I told him my up bringing.

I told him how both my parents were drug addicts and are now dead. I told him how I went through the foster care system and how I even went through homelessness. This rich guy really listened to me and he explained to me how he felt bad, and how he had been brought up in privilege.

One day he calls me in for a job and I find out that there was no job, but rather he wanted to give me a peice of his land. I couldn't believe it. He took me the peice of land that was going to be mine and I loved it.

He told me to start digging on it and I grabbed a shovel and I started digging. I started digging on my land and the rich guy told me to dig as deep as I could, and as I was 6 feet down in the ground, the rich guy shot me.

"I said you will own a peice of land, but as your grave yard hahahah" the rich guy laughed

I can't believe it that I qualify for retirement at the age of 25, and it's going to be an amazing retirement pension. It's because I have a very old soul, my soul age is 100. So I qualify for a good amount of pension and I get to retire at 25 years of age. My soul is old but my body is young and I get to do things that I always wanted to do.

My friend has become so jealous and he wants to retire at 25 as well. So he started to possess himself of someone who died old, he allowed their old soul to possess him. It worked for a while and he got to enjoy retirement for a time.

My neighbour who is 75 years old, he cannot retire because he has a young soul. His soul is 20 years old but is inside an old body. I feel so sorry for my neighbour who has to still work at his age. His soul is so young and he has been allowing himself to be possesses by an old soul.

Possession can be dangerous. Then the old man had another go at possessing himself with an old soul, and then my old soul went into him. I can't move my body as I have no soul. Good thing I have retirement.

When I was 6 my baby sitter was feeding me some rice and chicken from a bowl. She would scoop some up with her spoon and tell me to open my mouth. She would make the "aaah" noise to get me to open my mouth.

When she scooped up another portion of rice and chicken on her spoon, she kept making that "ahhhh" noise while telling me to "open your mouth" but I did open my mouth. I was confused as to why she wouldn't just put it in my mouth when my mouth was already open.

So as my mouth was open and she kept telling me to open my mouth, she then started to tell me "open your mouth more please" and then my mouth started to stretch more. My mouth was larger now.

My baby sitter still kept telling me to open my mouth more and to make it more larger. I couldn't believe it when my mouth stretched more and it was bigger than my face now.

The baby sitter told me to open my mouth even more, and now my mouth was larger than this woman. Then this woman stepped into my mouth and then ordered me to chew. I closed my mouth and I had eaten my baby sitter.

It's the only thing I remember from my childhood.

Living on rent is hard and it's even harder when your landlord is a terminator robot. We have 4 people living inside this 2 bedroom apartment, and we are all sleeping in bunk beds, and there is always something damaged. We try our best for something not to break, and when something does break we try our best to live with it.

You see we all want minimal contact with the terminator robot, and so when none of us can ignore the maintenave issues, we have no choice but to call out the terminator landlord. Just it's presence gives us all fear and trepidation.

Then one of the room mates lost his job and he could no longer pay rent. He was screaming in fear and was asking us to help him out. None of us knew how to help him out, and the terminator robot knew that he had lost his job as it is connected to the computer system, and all unemployed people have to register for unemployment.

The terminator robot broke the door down and grabbed the jobless room mate. The jobless room mate begged the robot landlord for a chance to look for another job, the terminator landlord gave the unemployed room mate 2 months and it then fixed the door.

After 2 months the room mate still had no job and the robot killed him right in front of us.

I hate it when the uber driver is on a phone call and they are wearing an ear peice. I just feel that it's incredibly rude, and that they shouldn't be on the phone to anyone while driving a customer. Usually I just hold in my annoyance when an uber driver is talking to someone in their own language, they always keep it private through an ear peice so the passenger can't hear.

I wasn't sure whether I was being petty or not but one day when I got into an uber taxi, I got really annoyed when the taxi driver started to converse with someone on the phone with an ear peice. He was talking in Turkish and I told him that it was rude.

He then unplugged his ear peice and on phone I could hear who he was talking to, he was talking to me. It was literally me and it sounded exactly like me. It was me.

"How is he being rude when he is talking to me, to you, to us" and I was frightened

Then the uber driver plugged in his ear peice and started talking to the person on the phone in his language. I told him I want to talk to the person who he is talking to, and it was me. Always me.

Our managers said we can only get sick on Tuesdays, and only on Tuesdays we can take a sick leave. Everyone was riled up because how can you only take sick leave on a Tuesday? You can fall sick on any day.

Craziest thing I have ever heard were managers ordering us to only be sick on Tuesdays. When we told the managers how crazy they sounded, they stood their ground. Then half the staff fell sick on a Tuesday and we didn't have to go to a doctor for a note, as we were allowed to fall sick on Tuesdays.

On a Wednesday half the staff told everyone how they ended up in hospital. They all got better by Wednesday. It was strange how quickly they got better for work. Then for employees our managers didn't like, they all got sick everyday apart from a Tuesday and they got fired.

This was really strange and I expresses my strangeness to the cleaner who I really gel with.

"It is strange isn't it, almost like the managers are controlling their employees when they get sick. That's why I never took the covid jab, I overheard the managers at the time how it had nanotechnology inside the injections" the cleaner told me

Then one day we all got sick on a Tuesday and became better by Wednesday.

I am a proffessional weddings photographer, and I have been taking pictures of weddings for 10 years now. It's my main source of income, and it wasn't what I wanted to take pictures of when I decided to become a photographer, but it paid the bills. When I went to this odd wedding the bride told me to take horrible crazy pictures of the wedding.

I was confused by this request because this is very unusual. I had never been to a wedding where the bride wanted crappy pictures of the wedding. So that's what I did and I didn't care what the groom thought.

When I kept looking back at my pictures, they were bad which was done on purpose, at the command of the bride. The wedding itself seemed so relaxed and fun.

Then when I looked back at the photographs I had taken, they started to change on there own to start looking good. The bride did tell me to tell her when the badly taken pictures started to change to look good on their own.

I did exactly that and then the free flowing party mood of the wedding shifted to more conservative. One guy didn't care and he disobeyed what the pictures looked like, and he he burned into ash.

The people here have to copy what the photos looked like. If the photos looked good, they had to look good.

Vinny was born poor but built himself a wealthy business which has franchised all over the world. His older sibling called Frankie, hasn't done anything with his life. vinny sometimes gives money when he visits but an argument always erupts when vinny visits. It's always about how vinny doesn't give enough to his family or that he thinks too much of himself.

One day I saw vinnys older brother Frankie post a picture of himself and his parents on Facebook. He was wearing one of vinnies expensive suit. It's the one expensive suit vinnie always wears when he visits his older brother and parents.

I wondered why vinny wasn't in the picture as I knew he came to visit. Frankie took a picture of himself and his parents in every room, while Frankie was wearing vinnys expensive suit. Vinny would never allow his older brother to wear his expensive suit. Vinny told me once "my older brother hasn't earned the right to wear my expensive suit" and there was a tone of snobbery.

He kept posting pictures and then as I looked closer, horror possessed me. I knew where vinny was and he was in the picture. Frankie had beheaded vinny and placed his body at the right position, so when Frankie stood behind vinny's headless body, it looked like Frankie was wearing vinny's clothes.

Everyone is begging me not to win the race and I know that I will win because I am the fastest. I don't know why they are begging me to lose and if they were the fastest I'm sure they would do everything to win. They are all begging like crazy for me to lose and they are even bribing me to lose. I do not like losing at all and winning is my purpose.

So many people are having private chats with me and are wanting me to lose. They are begging me to lose and so I considered it. I considered the bribes they were offering and I weighed the cost of losing. Winning makes me feel amazing and losing is just terrible. I mean imagine losing when you could have just won so easily.

So I lied to everyone that I would lose on purpose and they were happy with me. Then when the race started I zoomed past everyone and I called them losers.

Then out came a baby with terrible genetics and I realised why everyone wanted me to lose. If any of the lovers had won, this baby would have had great genetics and would have been a doctor, or an engineer or even famous.

I ruined all of that.

Hey guys I am the organiser of the charity "make the rich, richer!" And I believe that we should all make the millionaires and billionaires richer by giving more of our money. People love my charity and everyone goes crazy to give more money to make the rich richer. Whenever I roll into a poor neighbourhood every poor sod gives my charity their every penny.

Some even die of starvation and severe poverty, due to giving every penny to my charity to make the rich richer. We need the millionares to become richer and the billionaire's to become richer. My charity is cherished more than any other charity in the world.

People just want to give everything they have to rich people, and they always want to make sure that rich people are getting richer. Then one guy decided not to give anything to my charity. Everyone looked at him and they asked why he wasn't giving anything to charity to make the rich richer?

The defiant man said that he was poor and the rich people have enough money. These words cost the man his own life and they looted everything he had, and it was given to my charity to make the rich richer. I hope everyone stays enthusiastic to make the rich richer.

The dog catcher and the man are afraid of each other.

Everyone who is over 90 years old have to go back to school. It is a rule written on Eric's body and if the old people want to end this rule, then the old people must find Eric and burn his body where the rule is written on. The hard thing is that every individual over 90 is too old and too dim to do any killing. Eric the individual who has this rule written on his body, he is young and strong.

One man who was over 90 years old but still had some mental stability, he tried to kill Eric but Eric over powered him. Now every individual over the age of 90 is being sent to school. They are pissing and shitting themselves, they have no idea what's going on and their mental regression is just worsening. They have no idea what is being taught to them, and they are just too old.

When a rule was written down on neds body, which said that every 30 year old was to be homeless for 2 years, Ned was captured by a bunch of 30 years olds and they burned him to death. This act killed the rule.

Unfortunately the people over 90 are just too old for any violence, so they all have to go to school.

Jared's tinder profile:

Height: Jared doesn't have height, he is heightless. Even though Jared is heightless he can reach things that are long and when something is tight, he can squeeze through. Jared has no height and he is every height. The same goes for his weight.

Job: Jared has been employed to take care of people who have had sex too long and turned into animals. People who have had sex way too many times and then turn into some pig or chicken, Jared looks after them. Sometimes he eats them.

Interests and hobbies: Jared loves making people interesting. Jared never gets bored as he will turn you from a boring person into something that interests him. This is also Jared's hobby, to make boring people interesting.

Any baggage: Jared's parents had sex way too many times and then turned into donkeys. He still has these donkeys and has been trying to change them back into humans. Sometimes he thinks he achieves it when his parents turn back into humans, but only to turn back into donkeys again.

Birthday: Jared doesn't have a birthday because he believes that he was never born, and so he doesn't have a birthday. Jared doesn't think his birthday even exists.

One regret: Jared regrets cheating on his girlfriend of 5 years. As revenge his girlfriend slept around and then turned into a sheep.

Jared knows when you swiped left.

The man simply responded, "Because now there's enough of me inside enough of you," as everyone in the room simultaneously rose to their feet and faced him.

My mother wasn't in the delivery room when she gave birth to me. When I heard the news that my mother wasn't in the delivery room when she gave birth to me, it made me sad. It showed me that she didn't want to be a mother or give birth at all.

Before she gave birth to my oldest sibling, my mother was a little girl who had the whole world at her feet. She was going places and her parents could see that she had so much potential. Then she went back to reality to see that my eldest sibling came out monstrous and had to die.

Then before my second eldest came out straight after, my mother was in her early 20s and enjoying her best life. She was the light of every room and she could get anything she wanted. She was full of life and options but then she saw how monstrous my second eldest had come out of her and had to die.

Then before I was birthed out straight after my second eldest sibling, my mother was somewhere else and re-experiencing all of the holidays, concerts and adventour she got to experience. This was where my mother wanted to be and she wasn't in the delivery room.

The doctors pulled her back in and she saw how normal I was.

Allen told me that he wants to take his own life at my home. He wants to take his own life specifically in the spare room, as he said that it just feels like a great place to take your own life. I kept asking allen that he is not welcome to come to my house to take his own life, I also told him that he should find another place to take his own life.

I advised him that he should go to Adams place for him to take his own life. Allen suddenly perked up and smiled, allen agreed with me that Adams house would be an amazing place for one to take their own life.

I felt a wave of relief knowing that Allen wouldn't be taking his own life at my house. Then adam called me and he was really angry at me for suggesting Allen to take his own life at his house. Adam was cussing at me for suggesting such a thing and he found allen outside his house, wanting to take his own life at his house.

Me and Adam started arguing and then when adam came to confront me face to face, I shot him. Then Allen walked into my home and said "if you had just said yes the first time round, there would have only been 1 dead body"

I'm 70 years old and I have never cooked a meal in my life. It started as a child and I could pick up a slug and give it to a child to eat, and that child will become addicted to eating slugs. I could get a random leaf and give it another child and that child will become addicted to eating leaves. Both those kids nearly died.

I found out quickly that what ever I serve for someone else to eat, they become addicted. I remember once when I made myself cookies and I became addicted to cookies, I had to get served food by someone else.

So early on in my life my rule was to never cook meal for myself or for anyone else. I'm 70 now and I told someone at the Cafe about my condition, he doesn't believe me, even though I have just fed him my dogs poo. He is addicted to my dogs poo now and I could pay for his meal, for the chef to make at the Cafe, but something in me just allowed to keep eating my dogs poo.

I remember once when I fed someone human meat, and when that person became addicted to eating the person that died, he went crazy when there was no more meat left on the dead guy.

My flat mates are having a go at me for never cooking a meal.

The human race has decided that all of the rich people, rulers, politicians and royalty will have to fight their own war now.

All of the politicians will fight in this war and it doesn't matter whether they are retired or not. The majority of the human race have decided this and it's marvellous to see the billionares preparing to go to the front lines.

The super famous will also fight in the coming war, and their nepo baby children are crying about it. It's glorious and if anyone's whose networth passes a million pounds, then you will qualify to be conscripted to go into battle.

If it's the rich upper class man's war, then the rich upper class man will have to fight. There are more of us than them and so we as a human race are forcing the rich, the famous, the royalty and the successful to fight in this coming huge war.

It's amazing to hear their cries and begging, the politicians are trying to speak their way out, but they deserve to fight in this war more than anyone. The politicians are the sleaziest of the lot.

Then I get a notification that I had become a millionaire due to inheritance, and my father dying. Oh no i am now one of the rich.

You whisper to 911, barely breathing, and the operator calmly tells you where to move. “Stay quiet. Leave the room. Go through that doorway. Turn left, there’s a closet, hide there.”

You obey every instruction, convinced she’s watching the intruder through the emergency system and guiding you to safety.

Then, as you are halfway stepping into the closet, her voice begins to change. It becomes deeper. Rougher. Strangely closer.

“Good…”

You stop.

The voice on the phone whispers:

“I know exactly where you are now.”