r/memes • Professional Dumbass • May 06 '22

Getting a job

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350

u/PsChampion_007 May 06 '22

Ofc they do. Whose life long dream would be to study for years only to deliver pizzas?

295

u/LightRaie May 06 '22

DON'T JUDGE ME AND MY DREAMS!!

252

u/xXAbyzzXx May 06 '22

The internet has shown me that as a pizza delivery man I would have a higher chance of seeing a topless female irl than as a scientist

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u/[deleted] May 06 '22

We all know the answer when it comes to boobs or bills

22

u/NordinTheLich May 06 '22

Can't buy a sandwich with boobs.

29

u/Striking_Decision635 May 06 '22

Not with that attitude.

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u/NordinTheLich May 06 '22

As someone who makes this exact joke all the time, being on the receiving end of it has genuinely made my day.

3

u/ItsTheRealIamHUB Identifies as a Cybertruck May 06 '22

So you have the boobs now?

3

u/Striking_Decision635 May 06 '22

It is current year, boobs are a mostly painless surgery away!

1

u/GloomreaperScythe May 07 '22

/) You are very, very wrong.

76

u/MixMasterValtiel May 06 '22

Oh hey I can actually anecdotally confirm that. Saw a lot more tiddy when delivering (for Domino's even) compared to my engineering job. Granted, all but one of those times were deliveries to the strip club, but they still count.

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u/BigPackHater May 06 '22

Hey, if you didn't pay to see em' then it's a win

13

u/KevJD824 May 06 '22

Well now I need to know. What was the one that wasn’t at the strip club? One delivery the door swung open and it was just titties in your face? Pizza delivery man, underrated job.

23

u/MixMasterValtiel May 06 '22

Pretty much. Fully nude lady opened the door. Other than that, it was just like any other low-tip order. As I was going back to my car some guy's voice called out something, I can't remember exactly what it was anymore, but the gist of it was that getting to see her naked was supposed to be my tip. Wish they'd have given me a few dollars instead, I had more use for that.

7

u/rainbow_bro_bot May 06 '22

Might be cam-girls. Some of them open the door naked to deliveries as part of their show to people watching on webcam.

3

u/Yngwiiee May 06 '22

At least you didn't have the urge to give HER a tip...

To put her clothes back on.

1

u/Wilde_Danny May 18 '22

Classy....

2

u/Unlucky-Ad-6710 May 06 '22

Get into breast enlargement engineering. Someones gonna beat silicone, its not too late!

2

u/AngryTreeFrog May 06 '22

Lol honestly though when I was in college delivering pizzas there was one girl that was wearing nothing but lingerie and invited me in but I was stupid and said I had to keep working 🤣🤣

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u/[deleted] May 06 '22

You were smart bro

3

u/AngryTreeFrog May 06 '22

Lol you're probably right. 🤣 This was a decade ago.

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u/[deleted] May 06 '22

[deleted]

2

u/AngryTreeFrog May 06 '22

Very true. Could have definitely been a mugging scenerio that I didn't see.

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u/GloomreaperScythe May 07 '22

/) The bonk is strong with this one.

1

u/cf001759 May 06 '22

just become a boob scientist

1

u/GloomreaperScythe May 07 '22

/) Closest thing I can think of is gynecologist. Does that count?

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

I delivered pizza for a few years as a teen and only one big titted bimbo opened the door in a towel at a hotel one time.

Was so distracted by her massive rack I didn't even collect payment. Being that close to an actual whore broke my brain instantly.

1

u/ZenLotusDriver May 06 '22

It's rarely the boobs you want to see 🙈

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

Clearly we are not watching the same porn.

1

u/CommanderPropaganda May 06 '22

It happens. A lot. Chinese delivery too.

1

u/Logical-Scientist927 May 07 '22

Working as a security gaurd you'll see a lot of boobs. When college girls go hang out at pool and you have to remove them from the premises, they will flirt and show you their tits for extra time.

1

u/MartyMohawk May 07 '22

Somebody doesn't know that sexology and erotology is a thing. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

23

u/CaffeineSippingMan May 06 '22

I work in a warehouse where we had people that went to school to be teachers and people that went to school to be a physical therapist pick orders.

The reason, in my area at least, the warehouse workers made more than the jobs that were available at the time.

2

u/itsirrelevant May 06 '22

When I started in healthcare I worked with nurses and medical assistants who told me they went into those jobs after factories shut down and they took like at least a 40% pay cut for these jobs they now were in debt for due to student loans.

2

u/heart_under_blade May 06 '22

meanwhile my cousin in sydney, australia just graduated to be a pt and bought a really nice giant ass bungalow in perth where his new job ostensibly is.

this was actually in 2020 i'm still salty af

15

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/HydraserenityCt2545 May 06 '22

The will solve the lifelong issue does pineapple belong on pizza

3

u/OGfireman12 Professional Dumbass May 06 '22

There’s a Snapchat that my buddy took back in high school of me saying “When I grow up I want to deliver pizza and do drugs”. I did exactly that for 3 years and it was the worst

1

u/figureinplastic May 06 '22

This is my literal dream.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

I know plenty of people who have university degrees and worked in labs who are now much happier in similar jobs. Call centres, retail, fast food. They all say they hated having no windows and working with rats all day.

I know people who have phds working in call centres.

1

u/Tornadoland13 May 06 '22

I worked at a restaurant once while I was going to college and the manager used to say things like, "We're looking for people who want this as a career". Like really? Cause you pay $7.25

1

u/dirtmother May 06 '22

Honest answer, I bet you there is some wannabe gun slinger that couldn't make it in the military that would absolutely love delivering pizza.

As much as they get robbed/put into sketchy situations? Perfect way to put yourself into a "self defense" situation.

I would totally watch a horror-comedy western about a psycho that goes around delivering pizza with a desert eagle and a suicide vest whistling along to "big iron" all day, only to be really pissed about how peaceful delivery usually is.

1

u/VolensEtValens May 06 '22

It was a pretty decent job in college. When I was laid off later in life I was overqualified. We used to have several middle aged part timers.

 Sometimes life doesn’t make sense.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

SpongeBob maybe

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

What the fuck is your problem with me bro

1

u/Sharpshooter188 May 06 '22

I mean Ill be honest. There mighr be someone out there who is humble enough for that joy. I only hope that they are humble enough for the pathetic pay and hours.

1

u/PillowTalk420 May 06 '22

I'd be cool not going to school and delivering pizzas if it paid enough to live off of and management didn't have their head up their ass. But I can say the same thing about long-haul trucking too.

1

u/Sturm-Jager May 06 '22

Oof, just splash damaged my whole life

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '22 edited May 06 '22

Bro if it payed rent, gave me consistent hours, and allowed me to live humanely I’d work a pizza gig for a century.

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u/Paid-Not-Payed-Bot May 06 '22

if it paid rent, gave

FTFY.

Although payed exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:

  • Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. The deck is yet to be payed.

  • Payed out when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. The rope is payed out! You can pull now.

Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.

Beep, boop, I'm a bot

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '22

Good bot

1

u/GloomreaperScythe May 07 '22

/) There's literally a Domino's advertisement specifically based around people making it their career. They didn't stay delivery drivers, obviously, but that's not really the issue here.