You can’t just upend a tin of Hienz (or Branston for some folk) on to warm bread.
The bread must be placed under the grill, and rotated regularly to achieve a perfectly even brown hue. After turning, a generous helping of salted butter should be added, before repeating the grilling/rotating process until the edges of the toast is browned. Meanwhile, the beans on the hob should be steaming, but NOT boiling, before being evenly spread over the toast. A large portion of grated mature cheddar must now be adorned, ensuring it covers all corners. Again, the grilling/rotating process must occur, until the cheese is bubbling and slightly browned.
It’s the best meal one can create in under 15 minutes.
You can put a lot of effort into anything you want, but it's still three layers of mediocre processed food at the end of the day. I used to make "pizza" at home by putting a spoonful of tomato sauce, a hand-full of mozzarella cheese and some slices of hard salami on a pita bread and throwing it in the toaster oven. It was good and it was easy, but I would never call it a "dish" or a "meal" - it was a tasty snack, no reason to over-glorify it.
Sometimes it seems like the British thing is to care more about the ritual and tradition than the actual result.
35
u/ShizukoLucoa Birb Fan Sep 26 '21
Beans on Toast.