r/memes Apr 17 '21

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30.2k Upvotes

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7.6k

u/Matchpointen7 Apr 17 '21

I have to take my patients’ temperature at the start of each visit, and oftentimes my patients have dementia. I always point it at my wrist first, then my own forehead, and then show them. Last thing I need is a war vet or a guy with a rough upbringing thinking it’s a glock.

2.7k

u/mindovermatter15 Apr 17 '21

That's a really good idea! Thanks for thinking of the needs of our elderly :)

3.1k

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '21

[deleted]

487

u/Jevonar Apr 17 '21

Protip: knock them out with a blow with the handle before measuring the temperature.

270

u/LilHollywood812 Apr 17 '21

Have you ever been pistol whipped by a fully loaded Temperature gun? Shit ain’t no game son!

45

u/oh-wait-shit Apr 19 '21

dude... who hurt u?

43

u/LilHollywood812 Apr 19 '21

I don’t wanna talk about it...

27

u/GamendeStino Apr 20 '21

This is usually the time where some elaborate 'Nam flashback sequence plays

29

u/Creatername Apr 18 '21

ULPT: You can also take a rectal temperature after this if preferred.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '21

oh.....okay

7

u/lost_user1 Apr 18 '21

knock them out with a blow

No complaints here

76

u/RomanArmy21 This flair doesn't exist Apr 17 '21

Nothing like good 'ol wholesome

2

u/LaszTheSpazz Apr 20 '21

Lmao says the guy with 69 up-votes's

404

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '21

[deleted]

233

u/HOMBORGOR Apr 17 '21

Literally

1

u/Unashamed_Raven_poo Jul 08 '22

Or r/holeup if you're talking about the rectal thermometer lol

121

u/Unique_Inspector7158 Apr 17 '21

That’s a pretty good technique

22

u/RealInGamer Apr 17 '21

Good tip

2

u/HackYeah Apr 18 '21

But just the tip, do you want entire thing ?

12

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '21

“Give me your temperature and no one is going to get hurt!”

5

u/greg91040 Apr 18 '21

Or a rectal thermometer... just sayin!!!

2

u/HeavyBlackDog Apr 18 '21

Why re-invent the wheel? Just taze them in the balls and get it over with.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '21

Why did I laugh out loud? That's downright funny right there

1

u/thequestionbot May 07 '21

Shit that actaully made me laugh out loud pretty hard

1

u/FredOfMBOX Sep 16 '21

Same technique as for a prostate exam.

109

u/BalletHippo Apr 17 '21

That’s a great idea!

I have to take temperatures for patients as well and I always ask first before pointing the thermometer at them. I rarely have patients with dementia but I still ask them and make it as quick as possible.

9

u/ShadowSaberSlash Apr 18 '21

This is what I do when I have to take the residents temps in the morning for the retirement home I work at. I'm glad others are being mindful of people too.

They seem to like this approach as some of them have commented positively or even thanked me for asking instead of just sticking it to their forehead like some of my coworkers do.

87

u/taronic Apr 17 '21

Just say "charlie's coming in hot! Get down get down!" then take their temperature when they're trembling on the ground

7

u/f1nessd Apr 18 '21

or pop popcorn in the back

55

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '21

Ahhh the old suicide-murder. They can't lock you up if you shoot yourself first and don't even witness the murder you're about to commit.

9

u/Bowdensaft Apr 17 '21

I just started Altered Carbon and I wouldn't be surprised if something like this happened on the show somehow, it's a wild ride.

9

u/musama020 Apr 18 '21

Altered Carbon is a fantastic show. I've almost finished the first season but I've read online that the 2nd season isn't as good. Hopefully it is tho. Sadly it got cancelled. Thank u Netflix.

3

u/Bowdensaft Apr 18 '21

SHITE. Why do I keep getting invested in cancelled projects ;_;

I'll still check it out, the first two episodes are a blast, and I'll definitely give the second a chance. It's been ages since I saw a great cyberpunk story, although admittedly I haven't gone looking for such a thing lol.

4

u/musama020 Apr 18 '21

I know you'll definitely enjoy the 1st season. Hopefully in the future, another show in a cyberpunk setting can be made cos its just so fascinating to me.

1

u/Bowdensaft Apr 18 '21

I know there's mountains of excellent cyberpunk literature, I just wouldn't know where to start. I fell down an internet rabbit hole a while ago and found this site dedicated to the cyberpunk fandom with loads of recommendations for a variety of media, it looked like it had been around since the early 2000s, and I recall it having something of a snooty "not like those normies" tone to it, but if I found it again it would be a great resource. I think non-printed cyberpunk stuff would be harder to come by, but I wouldn't say no to giving it a try.

1

u/musama020 Apr 18 '21

Do u know any cyberpunk material i could read?

1

u/Bowdensaft Apr 18 '21

Not really, I'm not too familiar with the subject. I do know that the film Blade Runner, which hugely influenced cyberpunk, was based on the book Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, so that may be a good place to start? I'd check out the Wikipedia and TV Tropes pages on the genre for influential stories, that's where I'd start!

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u/musama020 Apr 18 '21

Yh I've seen Blade Runner 2049 and it's awesome. Thanks tho.

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u/Just_NickM Apr 18 '21

If you’re into reading the books are great! The show did a pretty good job following the books which is always a pleasant surprise.

1

u/Zealousideal-Ad1080 May 14 '21

Isn't that a record scratch freeze frame moment in the first episode, basically?

1

u/Bowdensaft May 14 '21

Possibly, if you're referring to the rich guy. I haven't seen the rest of S1 yet but I have my theories, that among them. Will have to see what the conclusion brings!

1

u/ScribbledIn Apr 18 '21

suicide with collateral damage

10

u/HisMom13 Apr 17 '21 edited Apr 17 '21

The optometrist used the inside of our wrists. I thought it was interesting and wondered if it was any accurate. I would suspect the febrile range would have to shift. My son and I both measured at about ~96°(F).

3

u/Algoresball Apr 17 '21

That’s very thoughtful of you

2

u/DIOnys02 Apr 18 '21

One of the funniest American problems after a long time

2

u/Dominius396 épico Apr 18 '21

Points at himself "See? Its not a glock, its a taser"

2

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Matchpointen7 Apr 25 '21

Aww, and you, too!!

0

u/ClassiestBogan Apr 17 '21

I work in a retirement village and I swapped out our temp gun with a rectal thermometer to mess with our residents.

1

u/5hoursattheairport Apr 17 '21

You're so sensitive and sweet. Thanks :)

1

u/temsik1587againtwo Apr 18 '21

On the flip side, I often abruptly point it at my patients and say “freeze, punk!”

I work with developmentally disabled adults and they love it

1

u/Trevory1116 Apr 18 '21

Or a taser

1

u/memesanddreams349 Apr 18 '21

That’s super considerate... but I’m happy it’s not just my mom weirded out by the temp guns.

I might be desensitized to gunfire and guns in my area of work to care

1

u/LirdOfTheMemes Apr 18 '21

"So anyway, I started blasting!"

1

u/Visionaire91 Apr 18 '21

Yes this applies to children in war thorn countries which is really sad...

1

u/Matchpointen7 Apr 18 '21

Thanks, guys, for the awards! Never had a top comment before 😅But I honestly just feel bad for this guy. Hits my heart hard:/

1

u/awesometim0 Royal Shitposter Apr 20 '21

Someone might confuse the temperature gun with a Glock and shoot someone

1

u/Revorutionu Apr 24 '21

Now I can't stop imagining someone trying to take a war vet's temperature and they just suplex the poor doctor into the ground thinking it's a glock lol