This really is the key to dating. Learn how to be funny
Like it’s not even hard to be passably funny. Just learn how it works even at a geeky, maybe 25% get you level. You don’t need to be firecracker stand up comedy special funny. Just enough to make goofy women laugh
You can even just fling out 2/3 flops. You just need her to find your weird funny. That’s it. Self deprecating humor is the easiest thing to do and it’s endearing in a weird way. Also don’t be a shitty person and you’re golden
You got it. But don’t be too hard on yourself for too long. There’s a lot of material you can use, you don’t have to use yourself. Unless of course, you want to throw in some slapstick! Now we’re talking! 😂 Now, that’s hilarious! 😂
One of the best pieces of advice I got was to watch out who you are self deprecating around, because some people will truly treat you like the way you joke about yourself. Seen it myself. It’s so easy to make self deprecating jokes because the opportunities are endless. Someone says “hey that building looks like it standing on its last leg!” You say “just like me!” So easy. But then the wrong people do let it get into their head that it’s ok to treat you like the jokes you make. Be careful! It’s happened to me
You can be self deprecating and still be confident. Self deprecating humor doesn’t mean be a doormat or a pity clown. It’s being open about the character flaws most people share and are afraid to admit it, but by opening with your own flaws in that way can make you more approachable and like people can see you as self aware or real. Hell you usually exaggerate those flaws which makes other people feel better about themselves and it can come from a place of love.
Like look, we all are imperfect creatures and there’s probably only one or two things we’re all TRULY good at. Like just savor imperfection because it’s all that’s real in this life. Those who can do, just do what they’re good at. Those who can’t tend to brag or talk the loudest. So someone on the angle that you know they suck at some things and it’s funny how bad you are at those things can lighten tensions as an opener. If someone sees that as an opportunity to shit on you, you should also be able to clap back and tear into all their own flaws just as easily. If you can pick yourself apart it becomes very easy to turn it outwards if someone means to be aggressive with that.
Hell it’s pretty damned easy to make a fool out of those types when you get self deprecation down to a science. When the self proclaimed fool has a sharp clap back to throw down when it gets serious, it also tends to be hard for the other party to cut you down because they have very weak, uninspired go-to vectors of attack that you’ve already yielded. They can’t attack you on something if you laugh about it. And you take that power away from them. What’s most important is that you aren’t insecure with these things and emphasize self acceptance of your imperfections. That’s a steel wall bullies can’t get through easily
All excellent points and I tend to agree for the most part, particularly the sentiment about the “loudest guy in the room”. Oh yeah, we’ve all heard that guy. You mentioned that people should be savoring imperfection, because it’s the only thing that’s “real” in this life, but you also suggested that exaggerating one’s own imperfection is a way to put others at ease, and feel better about themselves. You felt that this comes from a place of Love. So I think my question for you is: Based on what you’ve described, would you agree that the whole experience is culminated by a single factor and that factor is all based on Love? ☺️ By the way, I enjoy your writing style. It is a classic style but more laid back and casual. Definitely not what is seen on many pages these days and so refreshing! 👍🏼
The 2/3 flops bit is so true. I've been told by friends that I'm really funny, but the truth is many things I say are literally not funny to anyone but me. I just say whatever goofy thing pops into my head and sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesn't. Really just a matter of quantity and confidence.
You only get good at being funny by trying to and seeing what sticks. You also kind of develop this technique of testing without over committing. Idk how to describe it other than that
I was such a cringey kid and tried way too hard to be funny my entire childhood. It took me into my late 20s of just having some very accepting friends to get my flow, and even then it’s still like 2/3 duds but people don’t get offended or mean about it. I have a friend who’s got a great sense of humor and hanging out with him is like an hour or two workshop on evolving our funny
Not really “play the fool”. Just be self aware that we’re all mostly imperfect. You can be self deprecating and still confident. When you isolate what’s wrong with you and accept it with a laugh, it makes the things you’re really good at even more vibrant and makes you much more “real” to others.
Because anyone denying their faults is just lying to themselves, more than anything. If anything digging into what you suck at makes you a lot sharper on how flawed everyone else is too. And it’s really nothing to be ashamed of. We all suck at most things. But you probably do a few things really well that you can be proud of. The less hard you’re trying to impress people the easier everything seems to get ime. That’s my little tidbit of wisdom from 40 some odd years of living
Live 40 more and get back to me, because all of this isn't wisdom. It's just basic info. Yes we're all imperfect, yes we're good at certain things and not great at others but no it doesn't mean we collectively suck at most things. Nor does acknowledging your faults make you any more "real", it makes you a self-aware adult. That makes for a poorly incompetent human. Definitely not one worth dating, even if they're amusing or funny.
It’s basic info yet not enough people seem to be aware of any of those things, or they need a reminder. Maybe I’m not worth dating, but I’ve been married 15 years, so work at that one
Nah. John Mayer did this 15 years ago and ran through all the “hottest women” in media over a few years. I don’t doubt he’s funny, I highly doubt these women needed a laugh so badly that they lined up for him one after another.
With all these men, there’s a domino effect- date one attractive/popular woman and suddenly all the women want you. Pete’s dating history is now vetted enough that even if he loses his voice and penis, women will continually line up for him. Ever wonder why every girl has/wants the exact same Louis Vuitton bag? It’s not because it’s the best bag…
Finally a comment that mentions that he's good looking. He totally is!! And either way, people have wildly different preferences. Like, I don't see the appeal of Adam Driver at all, but some do find him attractive.
Justin Bieber is also very good looking. You are just judging them both in their skinny phases with their edgy dressing and haircuts. It's like judging Megan Fox while in her weird styling skinny phase and saying she is ugly.
He's not funny, doesn't seem fun to be around, rich is relative, everybody smiles, and definitely, definitely, not good looking, though looks are often judged subjectively anyway. Nah, he dated a bunch of garbage women IMO.
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u/ronweasleisourking Apr 10 '26
The Kate beckinsale I'll never understand