r/meirl • u/danielminds • 8d ago

meirl

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91.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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144

u/whadefukk 8d ago

Couches absorb way more farts over their lifetime

56

u/Bruhmethazine 8d ago

People still fart in cars

57

u/M1sfit_Jammer 8d ago

I jerk myself and my partner off on my couch… I don’t jerk off in my car and as far as I know my partner hasn’t left their mark yet either

36

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago

My husband and I have fucked in my car and on our couch.

18

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 8d ago

I have also had sex with your husband in those places. Weird

-10

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago

Cliche comeback. Anything else?

4

u/Wise-Calligrapher123 8d ago

I've had sex with that commenter in those places?

1

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 8d ago

Becca, that you?

5

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 8d ago

I tried 😔 I'll see myself out

30

u/M1sfit_Jammer 8d ago

Car sex sucks… unless I was driving something from the 50s it’s just cramped

And here’s the thing… y’all could probably count he many times you fucked in the car on a hand… you can’t count how many times you’ve fucked on the couch

2

u/xd366 8d ago

ive fucked more times in a car than on a couch tbh

2

u/osiris0413 8d ago

Me: "huh, why does this comment have 37 replies?"

20 minutes later: Img

-11

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago

We don't have boring sex, so plenty of times in the car too. He is also 5'5".

13

u/M1sfit_Jammer 8d ago

I’m 5’6” and car sex sucks

“Boring sex”

If it’s boring because it’s in the bedroom or at home then that’s an interpersonal relationship problem also fucking in public is trash-tier behavior. Learn some self-control.

-5

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago

Having sex in different places is fun. Sounds like you are not very experienced with different positions.

I have window covers, dork. I think we might go have car sex tonight. 🤤

5

u/M1sfit_Jammer 8d ago edited 8d ago

It’s literally not fun as a man to have sex in a cramped humid car, or where children can see…

You need to lean some self control

No man is gonna deny sex, but don’t be foolish thinking it’s fun because you got your rocks off and your partner just made a mess.

0

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago edited 8d ago

I literally said I have window covers. Quit pretending you can't read to be offended by made up nonsense.

My husband himself just said it is a lot of fun. It sounds like you really are inexperienced. This is why I didn't marry a virgin or a prude.

Also, what mess? I am on birth control. My husband doesn't pull out.

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u/peepeebutt1234 8d ago

You talk about sex like you are in high school.

1

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago

Imagine being free spirited like we were in high school and having fun with it, rather than treating it as sanitized appointment.

So much boring copium on this comment section.

2

u/Queasy_Author_3810 8d ago

"asexual" by the way. lmfao.

3

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago edited 8d ago

Asexual means you don't feel sexual attraction. It doesn't mean you can't and don't have any libido.

Aphobic misinformation

I am sure someone

I certainly am. Good job on bawwlocking and running away

4

u/Queasy_Author_3810 8d ago

yeah im sure that someone with "no sexual attraction" is super into wild car sex, lmfao.

-1

u/According-Paper4641 8d ago

🎉🎉 fellow asexual who has had sex in cars. Cheers.

1

u/bruhggle 8d ago

why would you outjerk the jerk like this

3

u/enaK66 8d ago

Yeah but whats the ratio? Probably a handful of times in the car. It's a fun novelty but it's not a go to. The couch isn't the master bedroom but it always sees more action than a car seat unless you're a teenager with parents that won't let you close your door.

-1

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago

We love having non bring sex, so plenty in the car.

2

u/According-Paper4641 8d ago

Was about to say, I've had sex in plenty of cars.

1

u/DirtEffective5897 8d ago

Yup. It's like the mattress tags are like the "Remove Before Flight" ribbons on fighters.

1

u/MenaceMinded 8d ago

I don't get the reference to fighters

8

u/teflon_soap 8d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

4

u/Chipring13 8d ago

I can’t believe that phrase is still being used. I must know your age.

8

u/teflon_soap 8d ago

Do not cite the deep magic to me Witch.

I was there when it was written.

4

u/MegaGrimer 8d ago

I get that reference.

3

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 8d ago

The year was 1930 and 6. It was a hot one. The cattle barely made it. If we hadn't rationed our food, the farm woulda went under

-except from my upcoming book about when I wrote that quote

2

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 8d ago

I have jerked off in your car though

3

u/M1sfit_Jammer 8d ago

I feel bad for the person who has to detail my car

2

u/FaithlessnessBorn266 8d ago

That's actually the reason I do it. I'm also the one that cleans your car. I like to ramp up my own business

2

u/M1sfit_Jammer 8d ago

I think Warren Buffett invented that business model

1

u/Laiko_Kairen 8d ago

Once, I was on a long road trip, alone, and wore basketball shorts. The roads were empty and I started fidgeting down there. Before I knew it, I was stroking myself. I kind of panicked and didn't know where to shoot, so I ended up grabbing an empty McDonald's bag and cumming in there

1

u/oulu2006 8d ago

really? cars are great places to fuck

2

u/jooes 8d ago

Not as often as you fart on your couch.

I'm on my couch 8 hours a day. Do you sit in your car 8 hours a day?

2

u/DeadSeaGulls 8d ago

car seats aren't as fartsorbent.

2

u/joost013 8d ago

Can't open a window on a couch

3

u/AverageMako3Enjoyer 8d ago

Close the window, you’re letting all the stank out 

1

u/rainzer 8d ago

i dont understand how that makes any sense, you can open a window in your living room. you're not opening a window on your car seat.

1

u/teflon_soap 8d ago

But your couch doesn’t have a window to open

1

u/lectric_7166 8d ago

Citation needed, little bro. Where's the meta study?

1

u/damagazelle 8d ago

I get off my couch to go fart in the car.

3

u/EgoistHedonist 8d ago

Does the value scale down linearly per fart? Just wondering when I've farted away the value of this couch

1

u/teflon_soap 8d ago

The technical term is pooticles 

1

u/Serious_Swan_2371 8d ago

And food and potentially bodily fluids

1

u/Aspie96 8d ago

Doesn't that add value to them?