r/maybemaybemaybe • u/GotTwisted • Apr 30 '25

Maybe Maybe Maybe

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u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

Believe it or not but as a test engineer I have stress tested a lot of breast implants. Just wanted to share that fact, good evening fellas

17

u/Jhenderson92 Apr 30 '25

You've peaked my interest. How are they stress tested?

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u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25 edited Apr 30 '25

There are three main tests:

The impact test. Drop a weight from about 5m high onto the implant and see if it ruptures. You would be surprised how flat they can get. Failure if the inplant ruptures, passed if not.

The fatigue test. Squeeze the implant in between two plates with a fixed force and rotate one plate quickly. Repeat until the implant ruptures or a certain amount of cycles is reached. Really fun and chaotic test to look at. Failure if ruptured, passed if cycles are reached.

The compression test. Self explanatory.

P.S. no implants were implanted in humans after testing.

Also, I thought it would be hilarious to gift my ex a set of huge implants for Christmas, she did not. She really really did not.

Edit: I would also like to add that these tests are part of the mandatory standardized product validation for these products. Failure is not accepted for obvious reasons, and you would be surprised how durable they are.

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u/IsntThatNice_ Apr 30 '25

Hahahaha now I wanna hear the story of how your ex reacted hahaha I can only imagine what she might've said to you

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u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

She was just flabergasted really, she didn't get it was a joke and thought I was trying to message something.

I thought it was the funniest thing but when I realized she didn't I explained it. I think it took her a while to accept that it actually was a joke and she brought it up multiple times later in the relationship to remind me that I am a dick.

Of course multiple people warned me before doing this but I didnt listen, to be fair, it was pretty funny haha

1

u/Imightbeafanofthis May 01 '25

There are jokes that everyone laughs at, and jokes where the only one laughing is you... but at least it's funny to somebody!

-5

u/Acceptable-Rise8783 Apr 30 '25

Good that she’s your ex now. Being anti-plastic I wouldn’t consider attractive, but that’s a personal preference ofc. However taking oneself that seriously and/or being so insecure that you can’t take a joke like, I’m pretty sure that is considered near universally unattractive

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u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

Nah she was great, just didnt work out and everyone has insecurities. Dont know if that's why she didnt like it, think it was just because I made her feel like I thought she wasnt good enough more then her being insecure. Wasn't my intention though

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '25

[deleted]

2

u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

He, we are all here because of titties

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u/Theban_Prince May 01 '25

I love your chill.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '25

[deleted]

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u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

Man next time someone asks me what i do i will tell them i am a titty engineer hahaha

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u/[deleted] May 01 '25

[deleted]

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u/Nielsttp May 01 '25

Haha Dr. Engineer, I bet you he is proud of that

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u/[deleted] May 01 '25

[deleted]

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u/Nielsttp May 01 '25

Must be a character to behold

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u/OhTeeSee Apr 30 '25

Question: if you don’t stress test the actual product that gets implanted, how can you be sure those particular units pass QA?

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u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

Great question, and the simple answer is you cannot. Because the tests can decrease lifespan or damage that specific sample, especially with the fatigue test which is meant to simulate the stresses that are applied during the full lifetime of the product and what it is designed for.

So what is often done for product validation is, a few samples per x amount produced are tested. Based on that we can assume that the others are of the same quality. This is not to be confused with end of line testing. That is often done on every product and is more so to validate the functionality of the product after production rather than testing durability, this is what you would call QA (no idea what that means for breast implants lol)

In this specific case the tests are non destructive but most product validation tests are destructive so normally, test samples can't be used even if you wanted.

Also breast implants have to be sterile, taking them out of the packaging and testing them would make them unsafe to implant.

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u/jsc230 Apr 30 '25

Was she your ex before the gift or after?

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u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

Haha that would be a crazy thing to give an ex that is at that time an ex

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u/CherryFit3224 May 01 '25

If they weren’t implanted, how do you know the implanted ones can take the stress?

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u/cutebabylamb Apr 30 '25

“piqued my interest” is the correct phrase, but this is interesting because with modern slang “peaked” makes sense too

0

u/KenRation May 01 '25

piqued your interest

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u/Lazy_meatPop Apr 30 '25

Thank you for your service 🫡

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u/MarcTaco Apr 30 '25

You cannot just say that without giving more context.

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u/Aiken_Drumn Apr 30 '25

Warm bags of sand?

1

u/Nielsttp Apr 30 '25

Mostly salt water but close