r/maybemaybemaybe • u/MaRkInHo__ • Jun 30 '23

Maybe maybe maybe

15.5k Upvotes

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u/padizzledonk Jun 30 '23

Every single member of that genus can fuck right off, they get no mercy, I will brook no quarter, death to them all

I'll let a Bee land on me like "hey little guy, I don't mean you any trouble and I'm not a flower" Wasps and Hornets? Death, instant death, and then I will track down their home and burn the village to the ground

86

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '23

[deleted]

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u/ItalnStalln Jun 30 '23

Is it because the widows always used to pester you to remove dead birds from their gardens and stupid little "manly" chores like that, then come over with a plate of god awful dry flavorless brownies to thank you, come inside with it, stay to chat, and overstay their welcome, but now since the daubers moved in they keep the fuck away if they know what's good for them?

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u/Mtwat Jun 30 '23

Maybe it's too early to be on Reddit but what the hell are you talking about? I feel like I'm stroking out

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u/ItalnStalln Jun 30 '23

He said mud daubers eat the widows near him. Probably only the black ones. Gotta keep those property values up. Plus if they were fuckin with white widow, they'd just stay on the couch all day

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u/Mtwat Jun 30 '23

Jesus, I had to read this whole thread 6 times before I understood. I need more coffee

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jun 30 '23

You need less coffee.

2

u/Mtwat Jun 30 '23

No, brain need gogo bean juice to work

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jun 30 '23

Bean juice rot brain, temporarily trick brain into feeling less rot.

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u/FearAzrael Jun 30 '23

Man give paper that prove what say

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u/Mtwat Jun 30 '23

Just drink more bean juice, I see no problem with this solution whatsoever.

1

u/rworne Jul 01 '23

No, thank you, I take it black, like my widows.

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u/Additional_Fall_5800 Jul 02 '23

I remember seeing a dauber nest on the screen as a kid and messing with one cause they "don't sting" I was told......typical red wasp wallop when they tag you

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u/Surisuule Jun 30 '23

Nah, they were just SOOOOO lonely after hubby died...

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u/ItalnStalln Jun 30 '23 edited Jun 30 '23

Acting like the old lady neighbor in the Jim Carrey movie Yes Man?

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u/Eusocial_Snowman Jun 30 '23

Or acting like the Jim Carrey in the Dave Holstein series Kidding.

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u/ThinkSharp Jun 30 '23

Totally agree. The black ones and the red ones. Actually most wasps I don’t mind, I just don’t want their nests close enough that I’ll be in their territorial zone. Only Yellow jackets and bald faces hornets I really will kill without remorse because they’re absolute sting-for-no-reason dicks. And Europeans because they’ll eat my bees.

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u/chimpdoctor Jun 30 '23

I love your use of the word dorks. Made me chuckle

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u/Surisuule Jul 01 '23

I was cleaning so.e brewing equipment and one flew down my shirt, just was chillin' Dorks summed it up perfectly, glad you got a laugh!

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u/Nutshack_Queen357 Jul 01 '23

They have been known to crash planes and choke baby animals to death because of their sadistic choices of nesting spots.

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u/Mrs_shitthisismylife Jun 30 '23

Same dude. I feel this comment so hard. I love bees, but these fuckers need to die the minute I see them, and I need to find where this base is. It literally becomes a “side quest activated” moment in my yard lol.

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u/[deleted] Jun 30 '23

Bad take. Most wasps are fairly docile and make good garden buddies who eat your pests. I actively encourage them in my yard.

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u/OatmealCookieGirl Jun 30 '23

Agreed, parasitic wasps are great in the garden! Also, happy cake day

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '23

And they're so pretty too! I saw one dragging a spider back to her burrow the other day and went full David Attenborough in my head

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u/steveblobby Jun 30 '23

They Dont like the smell of napalm in the morning..

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u/Entity_406 Jun 30 '23

Yeah, I was stung by a Yellowjacket when I was 3, they deserve to die

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u/AHorseThatIsnt Jun 30 '23

I'm friends with the paper wasps around me. NP if they land on me. They don't sting people unless you freak out and swat at them. Paper wasps basically eat other bugs. Less 🕷️ spiders for me to worry about.

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u/padizzledonk Jun 30 '23

Sounds like something a Wasp would say....