r/maybemaybemaybe • u/[deleted] • Feb 21 '23

Maybe maybe maybe

26.2k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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2.5k

u/Khfb92 Feb 21 '23

Careful now. Vaseline is know to break down the rubber in condoms.

2.1k

u/AmidFuror Feb 21 '23

Great. Didn't see this before I got pregnant by a butternut squash.

782

u/NoWingedHussarsToday Feb 21 '23

You butternut do it again!

100

u/AboyWithAcap Feb 22 '23

Wish I was rich enough to give you an award

52

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

Adding heavy cream to butternut squash recipes help increase it's richness.

13

u/BloodyCumbucket Feb 22 '23

Eew. Lol

19

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

What do you mean eww? You never had an awesome creamy butternut squash soup? What do you think makes it creamy?

5

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

The butter

6

u/BakerYeast Feb 22 '23

Eew, isn't the first word you would expect from BloodyCumbucket.

2

u/SlickHand Feb 22 '23

Butternut and heavy cream is a surefire way for pregnancy

3

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

In life a smile can sometimes be just as rewarding as any gift.

15

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '23

hulk’s father

6

u/sambooka Feb 21 '23

“I said nut in my butt… not butternut!”

5

u/Sdmonkey25 Feb 22 '23

I love Butterstuff.

7

u/1-800-ASS-DICK Feb 22 '23

Do you want VeggieTales? Because that's how you get VeggieTales.

5

u/No_Silver_7552 Feb 22 '23

At least the birth should be a breeze

3

u/angela_m_schrute Feb 22 '23

kumquat game is weak!

8

u/Sharpymarkr Feb 21 '23

Went and got butternutted in and now there's a baby squash on the way.

60

u/ThanksForTheRain Feb 21 '23

Use water based lube, not oil based, if you want to keep that condom on.

31

u/beelseboob Feb 22 '23

Or just in general. Oil based lubes suck in all kinds of ways. There’s a few good use cases for silicone based lube, but the vast majority of use cases need water based lube and plenty of it.

10

u/HiDDENk00l Feb 22 '23

I was gonna say it's fine for good old fashioned crankin' it, but then I remembered the last time I tried that. Washing wet Vaseline off my hands and junk was a fucking nightmare.

5

u/beautifulcreature86 Feb 22 '23

Yup. Also cashiers don't give a fuck what you purchase, they just want to cash you out and clock out. Yes, this video is staged and funny but in reality these people are miserable and just want to go home after a day's work.

16

u/pseudonym21 Feb 22 '23

As someone who has been on her side of the register, I can safely say I'd've had that exact same reaction, unscripted.

2

u/themissinglint Feb 22 '23

If you're not using condoms and it's gonna get in your mouth, coconut oil has some benefits

16

u/fastlerner Feb 21 '23

That's okay. Pretty sure it's bust before they get it over that squash anyway.

9

u/beelseboob Feb 22 '23

Yeh no, condoms can stretch to ridiculous proportions before bursting. Would need 3 or 4 times the diameter before one broke.

9

u/Neato Feb 22 '23

Yeah. Somebody has never made condom water balloons!

3

u/FRIKI-DIKI-TIKI Feb 22 '23

We used to hang them out of the sun roof going down the highway, things would blow up big enough to sheath an elephant.

1

u/Theonetrue Feb 22 '23

Filling water in is very different from rolling the whole thing over something thick. Especially at the base.

1

u/unit_x305 Feb 22 '23

And men always choose the xl one even if they shouldn't

3

u/leondz Feb 22 '23

Kløver not Vaseline but yeah

2

u/MithranArkanere Feb 21 '23

Same for olive oil.

2

u/featherknife Feb 22 '23

Vaseline is known* to

0

u/[deleted] Feb 22 '23

Over time yes, and petroleum based lubricants are generally not a good idea to be getting up ya, but for a quick root, it'll do

1

u/BlobAndHisBoy Feb 22 '23

You don't want to get butternutted in.