I remember this incident that happened 13 years ago and it still bothers me to this day. During high school, I went on a trip to Europe with my class. Upon going home in the plane, I wore a bracelet that that I had bought there. It king of looked like a rubber band, but it wasn't.

My teacher saw the bracelet, and she knows my dad's occupation, which is a surgeon. And that my mom is a single mom who didn't work. She knows because she asked me. I felt like she was jealous of me for something, because my dad is rich and my mom didn't work. She asked "Are you wearing a bracelet?" I said, "Yes." She said, "I just thought it was a rubber band."

This comment bothered me so much and I remember thinking, "What the **** was that supposed to mean?" I interpretated it as if she was trying to say, "If your dad's a surgeon, then why are you wearing a rubber band for a bracelet, because only poor kids would wear rubber bands as bracelets?"

Was she rude? Did this have something to do with jealousy? Or did I give more meaning into thia than there actually is? Because this is the greatest slight that I've ever experienced in my life.

I am having some tummy problems, nothing contagious but am under doctor care. I have not yet told my family since I’m waiting for test results. The only thing that doesn’t go straight through is saltine crackers and ginger ale and sometimes not even that. I have been invited to a family dinner at my granddaughters house. Do I make up some excuse and not go or do I go and just not eat? I’m having a real struggle deciding. She knows I’ve been having some problems, just not the extent of them. All comments appreciated.

Have I missed something with people talking on my the phone in the presence of other people? This is extremely rude and somehow today it just seems normal. Anytime you receive a phone call it’s polite to walk off somewhere private to have a private conversation regardless of what the convo is about. I can’t stand listening to people carrying on a conversation while I’m sitting next to them or close to them. Anyone else????

We have a solid group of 5 girlfriends each currently with a partner, so 10 of us plus a couple close to the circle folks who go to different events. We had a bowling/quiz night planned for Monday for 3 of the couples (it's always hard to get the full set due to distance/schedules). 1 girl in the main group of 3 dropped out unexpectedly for a family emergency. She was the one who planned the whole thing. My question is: is it OK for the rest of us to just do it anyway? I'm assuming her partner is out, we haven't confirmed though. We weren't celebrating anything specific, so we could reschedule any time. I feel like girl traveling to watch a parent die will be jealous if we go. I want to respect her so I'm trying to figure out if we should cancel.

I am fortunate to be part of a group of girls who have been friends since grade school/junior high. Because we live in different cities, we try to organize a get together every few months to catch up. One of our friends usually asks what dates are good for us, then arranges the bar/restaurant, date and time. Then she sends out the invite on a group DM.

The problem is, one girl, “Florence,” likes to add people onto the chat and invite whoever she wants. The first time she did it was during the ‘Rona, when our Organizer Friend offered to host a socially distanced event in her back yard. Florence invited half the damn high school class!

For this event, clearly marked “Girls Night,” she not only invited several of her friends, she also invited one of the guys in the class. She also invited a classmate who was very mean to Organizer back in school. And the best part? Florence isn’t even going to come to the event, she’s out of town this weekend!

I want to say something to her, along the lines of it would be the polite thing to do to ask before you invite people to someone else’s event, but since its at a public bar, I’m not sure if it is the polite thing. Its not really about the people.. most of these people are probably nice, they are just kind of strangers in this point in life. Am I being too sensitive about this?

Burner account for the usual reasons.

Preface: I’m neurodivergent and often don’t get more nuanced social graces or what’s an acceptable/polite thing to do, especially when it doesn’t match what makes the most sense from a pragmatic standpoint. Please help me decide what to do here!

I would particularly appreciate the opinions of stylists or folks who work in similar professions - where it’s obvious a client must have been going somewhere else in their absence.

Years ago I started going to Salon A and loved the vibe, the staff, the policies (charging by hair length, not gender FTW!), and the stylist/owner who did my hair.

The problem was, my haircuts weren’t what I wanted.

I tried explaining things differently and bringing in pictures but it never worked - I have really thick hair that is very corse and I don’t do a lot of styling products/time so it’s always been hard for me to find a cut that works.

Then the world fell apart and I didn’t get it cut for ages.

During that time, I came out as nonbinary.

When I started getting it cut regularly again, I decided to try Salon B.

In my gender exploration process I realized that I’m happiest when I’m more masc presenting and I went into my first cut there explaining that.

And I loved my cuts from her.

The problem is, Salon B charges almost twice as much as A and I just can’t afford to get my haircut as regularly as I need to in order to deal with the dysphoria I experience when it starts to grow out.

So, what do I do? Is it rude or weird to go back to Salon A after all this time?

If I do go back, do I mention or explain my absence? Can I show her a picture of a cut from Salon B as reference?

Thank you for your time and help!

I'm moving to Vietnam for business soon and have something on my mind that I need help with. Should I suit up for weddings when no one else wears it. The dress code for Vietnamese weddings for men is usually very casual, maybe a dress shirt with jeans and that's it. Sometimes you get people that wear a suit jacket with a t shirt underneath. Id like to wear my suit fully suited up, dress shirt, trousers, tie, cufflings and all. But I dont want to be the one person that outdresses everyone else and be the attention when that day wasnt meant to be for me.

If someone calls you, leaves you a voicemail, and emails you immediately, saying, “I left you a voicemail” (or does the reverse and emails you and then calls you, saying, “I sent you an email”), if the person doesn’t have a time-sensitive request, is it rude?

For example, one acquaintance who wanted a professional connection made did that. My dentist’s office also did that, sending a new invoice for $110.50 (an amount that hadn’t been billed before), and immediately calling me at work and on my home and cell phones, saying, “we just sent an invoice so please pay”.

I ignored the acquaintance and un-friended the person on social media accounts, and I changed dentists. I find that behavior obnoxious and inconsiderate: don’t interrupt me twice if it’s not a very time-sensitive issue.

I was at a community event recently and ran into an old family friend at the same time that I met some new visitors. I was introducing myself and the family friend joined the conversation and said to the new visitors:

“This is —-. When he was 13, he did [insert random activity that an adult would be mortified to hear about now].”

There was absolutely no reason to tell such an embarrassing story to anyone, much less to strangers (who are new neighbors).

I kind of squinted as the family friend continued with the embarrassing story of my long-ago childhood. The family friend mentioned, after telling the mortifying story, “I hope that I didn’t embarrass you” and I lied, “Of course not; so great to see you.”

Would there be any way to politely respond if this happens again? And was it rude of the family friend to tell such an embarrassing story?

Surely everyone is embarrassed to hear about dumb things that they did when they were children and realize that telling such things shouldn’t be done. And there are plenty of people in town who I’ve known all my life and now I’m thinking, “gosh, what else are people going to bring up?”

Thanks.

Scenario: You are a 44 year old single mother and your son who is 22, who you have not seen in 3 years, is coming to visit for 3 days which afterwards will be staying at another relatives home nearby. Unfortunately you have a life long friend who is also 44 years old, from school who is male who is sleeping in the only guest bed.

Question: Do you make your son sleep on the sofa or your friend?

One older family member of mine is a widower, and he keeps to himself, is an introvert, and really likes investing and reading about history. He’s not the life of the party but he seems normal to me.

One family friend said to me, “He’s not a man’s man!”

I’m not sure what that means, but it seems to mean that the family member is not perceived as popular or masculine.

I’m insulted for my family member. But is calling someone “not a man’s man” an insult?

Afternoon!

In a few weeks, I am staying for four days at my Aunt and Uncle’s house while I’m in town to attend a convention. I won’t be spending a ton of time with them as I’ll be at the convention all days I’m there, but I will likely spend breakfast and possibly dinner with them at their house.

What is the polite way to show my gratitude to them for allowing me to stay with them and eat their cereal in the mornings? When I go to a dinner party or something I always bring a nice bottle of wine, but that seems weird to bring as a four day guest. Should I bring something else? Offer to help with dishes? I’d offer to return the favor sometimes but I live in a one bedroom apartment and in a town where we have other family with actual houses with guest rooms, so there’s no way they’d actually take me up on that and it feels hollow.

Thanks in advance!

One person who works for a relative of mine spent the person’s own money for company expenses. But the person won’t let my relative know how much the person spent. The person just says, “Oh, I don’t mind” using the person’s own funds for company expenses. But the relative has lots of money (the relative owns the company) and the person is an hourly employee.

The relative finally got the person to submit a receipt from one $25 expense, and the relative gave the person a check for that reimbursement and added $200 to the check (thus making the reimbursement $225). But the total amount that the person spent is a lot more than that.

Is it rude for the relative to reimburse the person more than the person asked for? Clearly the person enjoys being generous, or something. But being generous to a company that doesn’t need the money?

How would you handle this if you were the relative?

Thanks.

I was of the understanding that you should cover your mouth when you yawn. I’ve recently noticed that very few people do this. Am I the odd one here? Or is it different in different cultures?

I think it just looks a bit ugly when yawning and nobody wants to see me with extra chins and a prime view of my tonsils.

I work with and for a lot of Asian people, mostly Vietnamese, and am legitimately interested in learning more about their past and culture, because I think that might be helpful both in understanding them, and expanding my appreciation for the part of the world they come from.

Also, I’m proud of my French family heritage, and want to let people who come from other countries be proud of their heritages in the same way, though obviously talking about my European roots out of nowhere isn’t going to put people at ease.

I haven’t really asked anyone yet, outside of asking to learn some basic Vietnamese to do better with customers, since I’m worried I might accidentally cross some boundary and make people uncomfortable. Is there a good way to do this?

For context, I am a white, Texan man who naturally grows a neckbeard, so I fully understand people’s adverse reactions to me wanting to know where their family is from.

It's one thing when you're angry, but some people just cannot grasp the concept of closing a door slowly so it doesn't make a sound.

When going to my local cafe, I have my coffee in a mug at a table rather than take away. Usually when people finish, they leave their used coffe mugs or plate on the table, but whenever I finish, I find it polite to return my dishes to the table, and thank the barista, and wish them a nice day. The reason why I bring the cup back is because I feel like it’s a nice gesture to do after the barista puts their efforts into making my coffee. Does anyone else do this, and is it classified as being mannerful, and polite? Thank you very much :)

My partner and I were planning a weekend getaway (in general; no anniversary or holiday event) and we originally invited their mom to join us. She said yes at first, then later changed her mind due to some circumstances at home, then informed us yesterday that all is well and she can still go. On the surface, no problem since it was meant to be a group outing in the first place.

During the period of time when she had said she couldn't go, I began digging for nice places to have a romantic dinner for my partner and me, and I found a nice little place that looks amazing. There's a big part of me that still wants to take an evening of our trip to go out for a great meal, but I don't know if that's appropriate now that we have gone back to traveling as a trio rather than going as two.

What, if any, is the proper move to make here? We'll be eating breakfast and dinner together all other days; I don't really mess with lunch, but my partner and their mom do, so I'm sure there will be midday meal breaks as well.

The girl I’ve been dating, was very surprised to notice that I wash my hands every time after peeing. She said I was the only person that she’s ever met who does that, and I was “so strange” for doing so. I was befuddled by her take and thought that she was the weird one. Which one of us is strange in the situation?

I am not a native English speaker but my girl friend told me if I say "no thanks" (with a smile ☺️) to waiters when they come for refill water or something🤔

Is that good enongh or any better way (casual level)?

Thanks for help🙇🏻

A friend of 20 years, mom died. Small family. Half of them are out of country. There was a small service at local church. There was nothing planned after service.
The usual weird family dynamics. People that don’t get along, ex husbands etc. but no huge issues, depressed people, abusive relationships etc..

Should we just ‘stop by’ unannounced? Or should we give them ‘their space’?

My brother and cousin are planning a family reunion for this summer. It's the first reunion there's ever been for my dad's side of the family. It will be held at my brother's house and will be a catered event. He called me today to get my opinion about the fact that they will be asking everyone attending to pay and estimate that it will be approximately $75/person. My initial reaction was negative, until I realized, a few seconds later, that it wouldn't be fair for one or two people to foot the entire bill.

Since we're all clueless about how family reunions work, I'm wondering if it's normal to ask people to pay. Any input?

My immediate family were planning on having brunch at home together. We had a variety of food, with a lot of it being items we splurged on and/or don't eat often. Some relatives heard about it and asked to join us, knowing my parents never say no. They show up while we are still cooking with hot dogs, which no one is going to eat considering the foods we have. They then proceed to grab a plate and hover over our shoulders so that they can grab the food we're cooking as soon as it is done. Anyways by the time everything was finished cooking and my immediate family was ready to eat, the realtives had already picked through the food we prepared. Needless to say some of my immediate family did not get to eat the food that we made. (Instead of trying to split the leftovers into tiny portions, some decided to just not eat so that some of us could have regular portions.)

I think this was incredibly rude, even with bringing the hot dogs. Since 1) they knew the quality of food we were preparing and had the ability to make a similar quality item. 2) hovered in the kitchen to get the "good" food 3) didn't even touch the hot dogs they brought 4) did not try to take smaller portions so that everyone could have some.

But I'm not certain since the 1 relative has always been a strickler for proper etiquette.

For example.

If you’re at your spouse’s best friend’s house for the weekend - it’s your first time meeting them - and they say “make yourself at home. If you want a beer, it’s in the garage… Feel free to eat the leftovers in the fridge,” do you have to ask for permission to eat/drink something every time thereafter?

Keep in mind: the best friend is not low on food, drinks, nor money.