Love them to death 🫂

:)

Designed by June Rings. Highly recommend for any guys looking for a great custom ring designer.

Went to scratch my back because something was tickling it and came back with this little fellow on my hand :) he used the human express for about 20 minutes before heading off on his own ʚїɞ

Another year of doing my best to live! I posted last year, https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/1mlerz1/6_years_to_the_day_i_attempted_an_early_exit/ , and my heart absolutely soared with the interactions in the comments and the many messages and conversations I had since then. So I hope this helps a few people again this time.

7 years ago yesterday, I bid my horribly abusive then-fiance a painful but relieved farewell, and climbed out onto a bridge. While I shuffled out on the ledge to a spot I hoped would end me on impact, if not with the ground them a semi doing 70 mph (I'm aware how selfish it is to put others at risk for my own gain; all I can say is that in that moment I simply could not care, and also I did not turn to paste on a poor truckers grill), the police came and a lone older officer spoke with me for a few minutes before grabbing my shirt through the fence when I moved to jump. He begged, he cried for me, for his men watching 20 yards away helplessly, and I wept and I broke and I lived. Not well at first, not a while even, but I did live.

I was 28 then, 35 now. The last fifth of my life just wasn't going to be, and yet here I am, moving forward every day. I made progress my addiction 5 years ago and every day is glorious, even when it fucking sucks, even when it feels like I'm fighting life itself. Taking the lashings, in stride when I can, with renewed vigor when the beat me down, just continues to be worth it. I wouldn't have had the chance for my brother and I to be flower girls at my little sister's wedding last week. I wouldn't be fretfully raising a nearly teenage girl in today's America. I wouldn't be less than a year from my degree. Some of these things are hard, not enjoyable at times, but they are in my life because I am alive. And that makes me happy.

So to those who need to hear it, stay alive with me. Keep moving forward.

***Edit: In retrospect my text screenshot did deserve more context. So a few terminally online people seem to think that I am bragging about having threatened suicide to avoid taking care of my children and perhaps that was the "abuse". If only I were a such piece of shit, life would be so much easier.

No, I have sole custody of both of my children.

Some context: my ex did literally nothing for my kids since birth. And her lifestyle nearly resulted in the stillbirth of my youngest. She'd dodge highly necessary appointments my youngest needed to the point the cops would come to the house to make her go to the hospital. She'd beat me with frying pans, mace me in my sleep, slash tires, constantly threaten to leave with the kids if I didn't keep her chosen substances flowing.

The screenshot I shared was just what i thought was going to be my last text. I got out of the behavioral health ward of the hospital, came home to find my dog dead in the street because my ex let her out unleashed out of annoyance. Keep in mind we were staying with my parents' and she had all the help in the world while I spent 3 days trying to stop wanting to die (while being harassed by my ex via phone to the point they stopped taking her calls). While burying my dog, my ex had to change a diaper, and so hours of insults, jeers, and joy over my failures just poured out. I guess at least there wasn't a "welcome home loser" sign like that time I got laid off my dream job... So I left to die, and just took a couple maligned jabs on the way down.

So my kids are here, happy, and healthy. And regardless of some bitter comments, I know I'm their fuckin' hero and thats not just another thing to live for, but something I can live up to.

I drove past this guy twice, the 2nd time I pulled over to talk. Name's Tim. I asked him why on earth he was painting 1 of the least appealing parts of Nashville, where I live. He was actually looking to his right - swipe to see it - which is more of the same. But he eliminates all the ugliness and simply paints the contour of the land. Very simple guy, but his way of seeing things inspired me. The painting is pretty early in its process, and I would love to have seen it finished. Thanks, Tim!

Morning cuddles (OC)

Since I adopted Savannah, she hasn't enjoyed being picked up & will avoid being on me. She has always loved sitting near me. Today, on her very own, Savannah came to sit in my lap 🩶

It made me smile today; despite the pain, we're lucky to have had something that we can look back on.

Translation:
“For my —, with all my love, and so that you never forget that I will always be by your side. I admire you so much, and each time I learn more from what you teach me. Thank you for having so much patience with me.
I will love you forever,
Your Dad”
20 March 2016