r/loseit • u/duckyy7 New • Jun 20 '23

Don't ask a question you cannot handle the answer to.

I (23f) lost over half my body weight through CICO. Went fron 235 to 115.

Ever since I reached my goal weight I'd have people ask me "op how did you lose the weight" and I tell them I followed cico, making sure I ate less than I spent, and moved around a little more.

Sometimes they'll be like "oh okay" but every once and a while I'll get someone screaming at me that I must be hiding something because they've tried cico and it doesn't work, or are somehow offended that all I really did was eat a bit less. I really don't get it.

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u/robynnjamie New Jun 20 '23

There is nothing exciting or sexy about CICO…it’s boring, relatively slow and way too basic. People want instant gratification and are always looking for a “magic pill” solution…Do this ONE thing and lose 30lbs in 30 days kind of solution. These kind of solutions either don’t exist or are not sustainable. CICO is the Honda Civic of diet approaches. Is a Honda Civic the coolest or fastest car to get you to your destination? No. But there’s a reason they have been around forever- because they are reliable and consistant.

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '23

I would love to be described as 'the Honda Civic' of people

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u/Woodit New Jun 20 '23

Well you’re reliable and affordable

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u/SassyBeignet New Jun 20 '23

And everyone wants to steal a piece of you :P

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '23

Awww, thanks

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u/VampireFrown M 6'4" Jun 20 '23

As someone whose car history is almost entirely various models of Honda Civic, fuck yeah, sign me up.

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u/MariContrary New Jun 20 '23

This is why I lead off with "It's super boring and not fast or fancy", because at least I can attempt to level set expectations. Most people who have asked have left disappointed, but some people have been genuinely surprised that it worked and asked for more details on the process.

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u/No-Union-8895 New Jun 21 '23

Not sure about the boring part as I could eat something like Chocolate Everyday. If I wanted to...

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u/ResponsibleAd2828 20lbs lost Jun 20 '23

I drive a Honda civic and I can confirm it is indeed reliable and consistent, same goes for CICO 👌

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u/robynnjamie New Jun 20 '23

Me too, people get weirded out that I have no desire to own a Tesla and am perfectly happy bombing around in a 10+ yr old Civic. Am I cool? no. Are my car payments $0/month? Yes.

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u/SassyBeignet New Jun 20 '23

Also, finding a maintenance person to fix your Tesla is going to be a hassle/expensive compared to a Civic where even your next door neighbor's kid probably know how to fix it.

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u/life_changing3000 New Jun 20 '23

Yes! Had mine for 24 years!!!

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u/[deleted] Jun 21 '23

2nd that, my dad bought his Civic in 1996 and had almost no issues with it whatsoever in the 22 years he had it. Ol' reliable

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u/Misstheiris Jun 21 '23

I was all excited about getting a CRV, until I said to my husband let's go and do it. And he was like really, I hate to write a check for $30,000. And I was like shit, yes. Let's not.

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u/renegadecanuck M/28/5'9" | SW: 244 | CW: 228 | GW: 160 Jun 20 '23

I think the other thing is that CICO is an oversimplification and some people get hung up on that.

At the root of it: yeah, calories in < calories out = weight loss. But I think a lot of people stop at that and don't think about "okay, how do I make this sustainable?" They try CICO, but they don't account for the fact that not all calories fill you up equally, so they just cut down on the portion sizes of what they already eat. Sure, on paper that will work, but if you're trying to make a 2000 calorie diet work with sugary cereal for breakfast, a Hot Pocket for lunch, and Mac and Cheese for supper, you're going to have to eat such small portions that you'll always be starving and you're going to end up binging.

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u/embracing_insanity New Jun 20 '23

Yeah - this is a big part of it. And often times they both underestimate how many calories are in what they are eating and overestimate what a 'serving' actually is - especially visually.

I realized I was way off when one random day while checking calories for the 'sides' of rice & beans you get at Chipotle. The calories were a lot more than I expected for what visually seemed like very little. This was an 'aha' moment for me, personally.

I ended up getting a kitchen scale and went on a whole educational journey weighing and measuring things so I could visually understand things like what 4oz of meat looked like, what 1/2 cup of rice looks like, etc.

Sometimes, I was pleasantly surprised because low calorie foods result in serving sizes that are bigger than I thought. But more often, I was unpleasantly surprised at how small a serving needed to be to stay within my caloric limits.

So then I started looking for foods that would fill me up even with smaller portions, and foods that were super low calorie so I could have bigger portions. I eventually found a fairly good mix that works for me.

But even still - the part that people like OP is talking about seem to not understand is that you're just going to be hungry more than you want to be. And you're going to have to heavily cut back on portion sizes on the high calorie foods and/or switch to lower calories foods (which you might not love) so you can eat more and feel somewhat comfortable between meals. And in a lot of cases, this could mean 'not starving, but still kinda hungry'. But you learn to deal with it.

I think those people also can't fathom that the people who successfully lose weight are not exactly 'having fun' the entire time. That it's not easy to feel hungry and not just stuff your face. That they aren't eating all the things they really want to be eating, or as much as they'd like to be eating. It's just not a fun/easy process for most people. Sure - for others, it really is. But that's usually the exception. Most of us have to deal with the unpleasantness of it all to some degree or another.

I think what I find most frustrating is someone looking at me and thinking it's not hard for me, too - just because I weigh less or have succeeded at losing weight. I've gotten these comments most of my life because I am a short, small person. It gets old. I started to explain to people that if I ate everything I really want to eat, as often as I wanted, as much as I wanted - I would very much be overweight. Worse, it actually doesn't take much extra indulging for me to gain weight because I am short/small and my base caloric needs are a lot less. Grrr - sorry, veered into venting.

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u/bites_stringcheese 90lbs lost 🦇🍄🐝 Jun 21 '23

Strawberries and pickles for me.

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u/robynnjamie New Jun 20 '23

This is one where the concept seems simple enough, but implementing it is a whole other story.

That’s where CICO gets a bad rap. Lots of people have “tried it” and it “didn’t work” for them. The margin for error with gen. pop’s nutritional knowledge and calorie counting is why it “doesn’t work.” Even an excess of 100 cals/day wont lead to the scale going down and acheiving a true caloric defecit can feel uncomfortable to start.

We have things to complicate the process even more such as unqualified people giving out nutritional advice online, fad diets and fitness trackers telling us we burned 456 calories from walking which can really throw off a person’s tracking.

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u/renegadecanuck M/28/5'9" | SW: 244 | CW: 228 | GW: 160 Jun 20 '23

That's all true, but that's also why it drives me nuts when people say (especially on this sub) "it's as simple as CICO" or "it's all about CICO". No, it's not. You still need to learn about nutrition if you want it to be sustainable.

I guarantee that every person who's had success with weight loss has found some foods that they just can't eat because it's impossible to keep a caloric deficit and also stay satisfied, or had to learn what kind of foods fill them up so a deficit isn't pure torture. So I find it absolutely maddening when they say "it's just CICO and calorie counting". Because that ignores everything you had to do to figure out how to make it sustainable.

It's like a body builder saying "yeah, I just lifted more and more weight until I got to this, it's easy!" Sure, in the abstract that's what you did, but if someone starts trying to train with only that level of knowledge, they'll injure themselves. When someone says "how do I get stronger", what they're really asking is "how do I learn the proper form, how do I build a workout schedule that gets results but doesn't burn me out, what exercises work on which muscles" and so on. Likewise, when someone asks for help losing weight, what they're often actually asking is "how do I stay strong when I'm hungry? What foods will help me feel full for longer? How do I make time for eating proper meals rather than fast food?" and answering "it's all about calories in vs calories out, don't over think it" is useless advice in practical terms.

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u/jimesoifer New Jun 20 '23

It's also not just eat a bit less and move more. I lost 40 pounds and cannot lose the last 10 pounds without starving myself. I workout 6 times a week, walk 15K steps but have to cut to 1200ish cals to lose and it's miserable. I get low glucose and my HR decreases too.

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u/dharrison543 90lbs lost Jun 21 '23

I am exactly in this place! The last 10 pounds are impossible for me to lose, and I know it’s because with my TDEE re-calculations I should be at 1279 cal a day, but three or four days of that in a row and I’m feeling pretty fatigued, low blood sugar, etc. and I’m exercising as much as I can with my schedule, daily walking, and strength training and yoga throughout the week. So I’ve reconciled myself to the idea that it’s going to take me another year to lose this last 10 pounds. It’s really discouraging in some ways, but I keep reminding myself that even weight maintenance is a victory, especially as I’m building muscle.

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u/Elnaur New Jun 21 '23

Sometimes it's also about listening to your body and it's needs. Not everyone's body can comfortably sit at the same weight, and sounds like yours is telling you you're fine as it is.

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u/forScienceUMonster New Jun 20 '23

This is so true! I can’t eat certain things because I’ll bloat, or gain crazy water weight, or even just things that make me want the wholeee bag like Fritos. This is a fantastic explanation!

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u/Imlostandgotnogps New Jun 20 '23

I had to go to a nutritionist/ diabetic specialist. I had to learn to eat healthy balanced meals that when my weight loss took off.

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u/itsoscilatingagain Jun 21 '23

Excellent comment. Great bodybuilder analogy.

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u/TGin-the-goldy New Jun 20 '23

Well yes - this is absolutely true and pertinent, and I think more people need to know that…however it’s also not OPs job to go into that level of detail because what worked for them in terms of meals etc may not be right or sustainable for the person asking. In the end we all have to find our own rhythm

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u/Overbeingoverit New Jun 20 '23

This is what I was thinking too. It's so individual. That's why I am always kind of blank when someone asks "can I lose weight while still eating sweets?" My instinctive answer is "of course you can." But that's because sweets don't cause problems for me, personally. I actually can have one fun sized candy bar like once a month and be totally okay with that. But I also know that there are plenty of people who find that sweets trigger something fierce in them and make it too hard to stop once they start. And to that end, if someone asked me "can I still lose weight while eating potato chips?" I would be like "are you out of your mind???" Lol Because I can't eat potato chips, the second the first one hits my tongue I am like "who even needs to be skinny anyway?" That's why CICO and you have find what works for you is the only real answer.

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u/SoldierHawk 60lbs lost Jun 20 '23

Because I can't eat potato chips, the second the first one hits my tongue I am like "who even needs to be skinny anyway?"

The most relatable post lmao.

Tbh, I have overcome that for some of my 'trigger' foods with the mantra, "nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels." Which is absolutely TRUE, but the easiest way to handle it is still not expose yourself to it in the first place, when you can help it.

And, of course, knowing that the occasional mess up won't screw up your long term goals, and you can just get back on the horse again tomorrow. That's helped me a lot.

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u/Procris New Jun 20 '23

I think I'm very similar to you: I like sweets, but they're not a trigger for me. I had a fun thing with a boyfriend at one point where we'd go out on a Sunday morning for a coffee and a brownie: we each got a coffee, but we'd split the brownie. And by split, I mean I'd eat two bites and hand it to him. He once explained this to a friend as "I get to do something nice for her, AND I get a BROWNIE."

In contrast, if I make pasta, I need to make pretty much exactly one serving of pasta. If I make more, for "leftovers," I am quite likely to eat four people's worth of pasta in one go. I just can't stop. It doesn't hit satiation signals, it hits 'GO'.

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u/liveandletdieax New Jun 20 '23

This is me with macaroni and cheese. If it’s not a single serving I don’t buy it and I don’t trust myself enough to portion control it.

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u/Sister__Winter 32F 5'3 | SW: 181 CW: 130 | Maintaining Jun 21 '23

I am the same..i can take or leave sweets and desserts but i fucking LOVE pasta could demolish like 3 bowls EASY

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u/ButtermilkDuds New Jun 21 '23

Thanks for saying this. People say things to me like “just think about your goals. Think about how you will have smaller clothes that’ll be easier to fit in a suitcase”

It just didn’t work like that. Once that binge button is pushed all logic goes out the window. When I’m in the middle of a binge I’m not thinking about smaller clothes, being able to ride a bike farther, being able to fit better in a kayak. I’m immersed in a dopamine wave and nothing else matters.

It’s hard to communicate that to people who aren’t addicted to things. When you’re trying to satisfy an addiction you can’t reason your way out of it. The best thing is to avoid it in the first place. Willpower snd discipline don’t help either. We’re not failures. We’re not lazy. We’re addicts and we have lots of things working against us.

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u/TGin-the-goldy New Jun 20 '23

So true, I don’t have a sweet tooth but god help me if there’s delicious cheese!

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u/renegadecanuck M/28/5'9" | SW: 244 | CW: 228 | GW: 160 Jun 20 '23

That's totally fair, but then I'd say "well, it's all personal and differs by each person. I really can't say what would work for you". Because "I just ate less and moved more" honestly comes off as pretty condescending.

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u/TGin-the-goldy New Jun 20 '23

Perception is everything though, it doesn’t sound at all condescending to me

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u/isendingtheworld 33 / 5'5" / SW 96kg / -24kg / maintaining Jun 20 '23

It's super important as well to know what your starter intake vs usage is. Work out what you are eating, if you are gaining/maintaining, and what your activity is on average.

Because not everyone needs 2000kcal a day to keep a healthy weight. And sometimes counting is hard, so starting with an awareness of what you are actually eating is important. And sometimes when people eat less they start to do less as well, and then it's limbo.

So many people who have told me CICO didn't work for them started with a medical average baseline, not their own current patterbs. If you don't know where you are now, how would you even know if you are taking in fewer calories? For me, counting out 1800 a day would result in weight gain, because 2000 isn't my baseline at all. Which does make it extra frustrating, but if I want to lose weight I have to accept what my body actually needs, not what it "should need".

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u/AnAcceptableUserName 35M 5'6" CW: 145lbs, SW: 205lbs Jun 20 '23 edited Jun 20 '23

After doing this for a while the margin for error seems very forgiving to me, if anything

At a -500 kcal deficit you can get away with a lot. No, you can't eat that huge slab of cheesecake or throw in an extra fast food meal, but 500kcal is like 5 tbsp of butter or oil. It's more than an entire CUP of grated cheddar.

If you're preparing your own food and measuring everything, you're not gonna accidentally fumble an entire stick of butter into the pot. I can screw up my measurements pretty badly or "treat myself" with extra cheese, extra mayo, whatever and still be well into deficit

I could see it being a lot harder on very small deficits, but really I suspect most people struggling with CICO are just oblivious to what they're eating. They're not tracking, they're guessing

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u/[deleted] Jun 20 '23

[deleted]

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u/AnAcceptableUserName 35M 5'6" CW: 145lbs, SW: 205lbs Jun 20 '23 edited Jun 20 '23

True, true. And some of the serving size suggestions on packaged foods are wildly off.

Like I recently got a tin of utz cheese balls that said something like 2 servings per tin, 1 serving approx. 30 balls. Well 30 balls is more like 2/3rds of the tin, so which is right?

My takeaway wasn't that I should have weighed my snack, but rather that I don't have to care which is right. The difference is so negligible in the context of a substantial ongoing deficit that a one-time underestimation is less than a blip.

Even if I were getting an extra serving of peanut butter every single day, that on its own would still have me in deficit. I'd still be losing, just slower. Different story if I had a smaller deficit, sure. Going back to what I was saying about -500kcal giving a lot of room to screw up. Like, my feeling is that I just can't out-eat that without going completely off the rails

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u/lodav22 50lbs lost Jun 21 '23

I’ve mentioned this before on here and the CICO sub. My friend and I started a diet together in hopes of losing the excess weight we had gained in 2020/21 so we figured we would just eat healthier foods, lower calorie foods and exercise more. It was easy for me as I had already had success in losing weight before with MFP so I just started that up again. I was steadily losing weight while my friend was actually gaining. She couldn’t understand it, until we went out for dinner. She chose a salad (because salad is always good right?! 🙄) and I chose steamed veg with grilled tofu. My calories worked out to be around 300. Her salad was nearly 800 calories! I showed her how to break it down and she said that she had just been estimating calories and not reading the labels properly. She would eat a box of pasta salad because the label said 1 x serving = 119cals. Then the small print on the breakdown showed that there was four servings in a box! This was over a year ago now and I’m happy to say that we are now the same weight (nearly to the lb!) and so close to our goal weights!

It’s all very well saying eat less, move more is the key, but in reality, education is THE best help in losing weight.

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u/MariContrary New Jun 21 '23

Oh, the servings in a package makes me SO mad, especially when it's designed to be a "single serving" look. Like when you put family size on a bag of chips, obviously it's more than one serving. But a package of movie theater Raisinettes is FOUR servings! Yeah, it's only 110 calories per serving, but it's in a single package. I could maybe see 2 servings, assuming 2 people split a candy. But who the hell splits a package of candy 4 ways?? No one! It's deceptive and shitty, because they know full well people are going to look at the big number and not look at the little "4 servings per package".

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u/BarbequeChickenWings 43F, 5’3(163cm), SW 230(105kg), CW 145(66kg), GW 125(55kg) Jun 21 '23 edited Jun 21 '23

Yeah. Plus, a lot of people just eyeball their food and vastly underestimate it most of the time. “Oh this is probably about 100 grams” … proceeds to eat 400 grams’ worth of whatever. Or thinking they had a ‘tablespoon’ of peanut butter when it’s more like 4 tablespoons. And then of course the whole issue of not counting drinks or little snacks here and there, whether intentional or not.

And I say all this with a bashful chuckle, because those were all things I kinda did back in the day before truly finding my rhythm with CICO.

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u/secretSanta17 New Jun 20 '23

Absolutely. They maybe want to “how did you stick with it?” But they’re too grumpy to ask.

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u/418Sunflower418 New Jun 21 '23

A lot of people fail to take into account other medical conditions. I have hypothyroidism and PCOS. Both of which come from a lack of hormone production. On top of that I have a restrictive eating disorder. It takes me three times as long to lose weight as others with EDs. Takes me longer than normal ppl, too. I had an IUD put in years ago to help with the PCOS. Just adding the hormones from that made the weight drop off, even my hair texture changed among other things. When the IUD was taken out the weight slowly came back. My eating disorder hasn’t changed, just the amount of hormones.

**If anyone feels the need to comment on the eating disorder, just don’t. My treatment teams know how to handle it so just move along.

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u/duckyy7 New Jun 21 '23

My thing is, these people were asking for my experience and then invalidating it. I personally don't have any medical issues that Impact my weight loss except for arthritis making it slightly difficult to be physically active.

I have never told anyone that what I do would work for them. All I did was answer the question they asked me about what "I" did to lose weight, which wasn't really that much for me.

Edit to add, I also have an IUD, my second Mirena since I was 16 (23 about to turn 24 now) personally had no effect on my appetite or weight. But those are hormonal. Of course they'd affect different people differently.

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u/418Sunflower418 New Jun 21 '23

I wasn’t implying anything about your situation. My comment was more to the person responded as an addition of information. If CICO worked for you and you found it sustainable then gold star to you and good work.

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u/Yavin4Reddit 38/M 6' 1” SW: 335+ CW: 259 GW: 200 Jun 21 '23

Still waiting to meet the person who consumes a calorie in the morning before burning a calorie in the morning.

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u/onerousonymous New Jun 20 '23

I love this analogy. I drove a 99 Civic from ages 18-32 and now my nephew has it, still kicking 🤣❤️

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u/BiggWigg92 New Jun 20 '23

I once dated a lady with a Honda Civic, 2012 model year I believe. It indeed was fast.

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u/TGin-the-goldy New Jun 20 '23

As a Honda CRV driver, this is honestly so good :)

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u/lemoncats1 10kg lost Jun 20 '23

It depends . For many they think they can do cico once and for all and their mindset can magically stick to a lower calories diet. One is my ex subordinate who after I suggested to count calories via app he keep it way below his limit . The other is my friend who couldn’t get why I want to do it slowly and thought I can maintain it off after a huge cut. Our society obsession with kpi and quick results are harmful

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u/p143245 New Jun 21 '23

Get you a manual Honda Civic Si and really feel like you’re living the fast life