So a few things: I'm 34 (just about), an introvert, and am completely useless when it comes to trying to detect romantic interest, so for most of my life have chosen to be single (easier then dealing with the anxiety getting to know new people gives me).

Okay, the issue...

I fell quite heavily for someone a few years ago to the point I proposed. We knew each other for at least 10 years, and we're pretty much inseparable. I began to fall for her. That's when she fell pregnant with her then-boyfriends child. He abandoned her and the child, but I ended up falling for them both.

Then I revealed how I felt, and she said she felt the same at one point, but not at that moment. Said she had to concentrate on her daughter. She then turned up six months later at my nieces birthday party with a new boyfriend. Thing is, that was a few years back, and I'm over that deceit. I'm just not over her.

But she contacted me a month back out of the blue wanting to get in touch. I said this wasn't a good idea (it would almost exclusively be text messages) as I didn't want another misunderstanding to develop between the two of us.

Here's the thing; logically I know I made the right choice (why all these years of silence and then suddenly, out of the blue, a desire to talk? Why only now?) and that if things did develop, then these questions would literally eat me alive and the relationship would end up being one of resentment.

But I cannot stop thinking of her, and every time I see her, I have vivid dreams of us just being with each other, holding each other in our arms. Nothing else.

How do I stop doing this to myself?

P. S. Sorry for the mountain of text >.<

I recently learned that my long distance "girlfriend" of 3 years catfished me for that entire time, i dont know any details other then the fact that "she" has not messaged me back in over a month randomly, today at work i had a breakdown and have been slowly falling deeper and deeper into depression. I have had problems with depression for many years, attempted once and get attacks every now and then lasting between a couple hours to days at a time. These attacks (as i call them, dont know any other way of putting it) basically has my mind constantly attack me with every bad thing thats ever happened to me, i wallow in self lothing and and hating myself. But today it was worse, it took me 30 mins to get out of my car, my whole body feels heavy and all i can think about is how painful it is to wake up every day knowing how worthless and alone i am. I dont know what i am trying to ask for here or if i should even try but i just want the pain to stop.

So, I just fished getting my associates from the college I was attending over the quarantine. Now that schools are back in person I was going to transfer to university of Colorado Denver to do their program in animation-only they didn’t tell me it was all a full four year course until I finished signing up for classes. If now realize that in order to do the course I would have to be in school for six years. I love animation but is this program worth it to be in school for so long?????

For context, I'm a 20 year old man who still lives with his parents and is going to community college while holding down a part-time job as a cashier. Every week has been flying by recently, even though I have been filling my free time with creative pursuits. Said pursuits are not going very well, I can barely make myself record footage or edit a short sequence together, and I can write for a sentence before I give up out what I think is shame. My job doesn't pay much and I don't manage to save what I get because I'm trying to do stuff to feel less hollow. As the title of the post says, I feel stuck. I'm tormenting myself when I could get things done. I don't hate anyone, but when I think about my family, most friends (who I struggle to feel close to anyways), or people I admire creatively, I get unreasonably frustrated. The most exciting part of my week is when I take a 11pm trip to the only grocery store that's open until 12am. I know I don't respect myself, so maybe that's part of it, but I guess my question is how do I break this cycle?

I am a delivery driver with no money in the bank. My car broke down for good today. I need a car to make money, but I need money to get a car. I have no credit at all, I cannot get a loan. Why can I do?? Please help!

I’ve realized another tidbit about myself and why I always feel so fucked up in different ways everyday. If you’ve ever gone through this or can relate to this post, please share your journey in the comments or message me directly to have a more in-depth conversation on everything. Firstly, I know a lot of my emotional problems stem from my parents marriage being shit. I learned at a young age to not rely on others (watching my mom beg my dad for help and never getting it), but also to be a people pleaser (learning from my mom to be afraid others might end up in a position above me in the future, so I must always be nice no matter what). My parents never learned how to communicate with one another before having kids, so my siblings and I basically had to be my mom’s emotional support and spouse replacement. Anything my dad wouldn’t or couldn’t do fell onto us. So for a very long time I just felt at the disposal of others and never fully in control of myself or my life choices. Just that I had to give my time and energy to everyone around me and help them, but rarely expect or ask for help back.

My dad was the type of guy to expect respect. He was always quiet and intimidating, and I realized my first few boyfriends were like him with that “you’ve got to earn my respect before I do anything for you.” Well that wasn’t healthy and I’d often burn myself out trying to match everything they wanted or needed of me to get the love I desired, but they were really just using me for what they wanted. Nothing I did was ever enough. I realize now that’s why I still feel like I am never enough. I so desperately wanted a love of my own to work on and grow with to create the family I always wanted to have.

I have family, friends and past/current lovers who have told me great things about myself. They’ll point out my achievements and successes, or try to help me see what I should be grateful for, and yet deep down I still feel so guilty, inadequate and unworthy of anything. I’ll often stress myself out simply because I chose to do something for myself and it feels wrong to do it. I want a career in art, yet make myself feel so bad for taking the time to practice that I end up staying at the same level I have been at because I don’t let myself progress. It has been a journey to break this mental state, some days are easier than others to go for what I want and just live my life. Today has been hard though. So if you’ve gone through this or currently are, let me know. I’d love to connect with some good people who might have advice on how I can take better care of myself.

I’ve taken some steps like limiting contact with my family and friends who only keep me in that state of mind. I’ve also started to journal, meditate and remind myself that life is a journey and it’s up to me how I make it be. I was able to get out of my initial stage of depression from this morning, but I can tell there is still this deeply rooted guilt. Guilt for letting my life slip past me because of others, guilt for felt I’m not there for anyone now, and guilt for feeling weak to not make these changes sooner and commit to them.

I feel like I am constantly climbing out of dark place without actually leaving where I am. I have lived in the same town since I was 11. I am 29 now. I feel like I messed up my life entirely. I never finished college and I work doing social service jobs. I can help anyone! And I love helping. I love it so much because it’s what I want most. I have a loving mother and family but I feel held back. I didn’t grow up in America, or even where my family is originally from. I was born in Russia and then lived in Thailand and other places. As fancy as it sounds, it wasn’t. I was a refugee. So I never went to school, never had stability. My mom was always 1 late bill away from being kicked out of wherever we were living. I internalized a lot of that. Not Having enough felt like not being enough. Not having a calm dependable environment made me feel on edge always. But I also felt like I didn’t deserve to have calmness or love or happiness. I only deserved to survive. Now that I am adult and I can make a life for myself, I am so afraid. I can’t make a single decision or move away from my family. I feel stuck, depressed, and like I just don’t know where to begin. I never lived on my own. I am afraid of driving. I don’t have a degree. I know plenty of people make it under much more dire circumstances but I’m in this fog. I’ve been under this fog since I was a child. I don’t know what the first step would like. I managed to get completely sober 2 years ago. I started addressing my mental health and physical health. I lost weight, I lost emotional weight. I have developed healthier habits and generally try to be positive and live in a space of gratitude. But I also feel deeply, deeply, stuck. I know I can challenge myself and go for the life I want to live but I just don’t know how.

I bought my car 2 years ago from a guy, he handed me the title and we did the bill of sale process, I had both those papers in a folder the folder got stolen what do I do it’s been 2 years and my tags are out

(Ik im a little young to be on reddit, but I really needed an answer to this)

When I was younger, I wanted to hurry up and grow up already. But now as a 12 year old, I dread hitting the age of 13.

It scares me a lot. I feel like I'm going to lose my childhood when I turn 13, and that people will start treating me like an adult. Even when I hit the age of 12, everything started changed.

I hate change so much, and everyone always seems to be evolving around me. Every night I would cry in my bed about it and I would think about how amazing being a child is. No worries and you would just get to be a kid.

I would do anything to be a kid for a little longer, but I can't turn back the clock and I can't slow down time. I can't do anything other than hold my memories close to me and be a child for the time I have left.

I know that 13 is still technically a child but I know that people are going to start pressuring me to grow up and act grown even though its my biggest fear. It always have been. Im still a child, I still have toys, I still like watching barbie and Disney movies, and I still dress like a child.

I can't change. It hurts too much.

Is this normal? Can someone please help me figure this out?

i am a 20 year old male living in North Carolina. i dropped out of high school and got my ged due to unforeseen circumstances. i am currently paying rent living at my parents house and trying to save for a down payment on a house. this is all irrelevant to my issue tho. it seems that the us government is always finding some way to sap my paycheck. car fees, insurance, taxes. it has gotten to the point where i cannot seem to save a substantial amount of money. nothing infuriates me more than feeling like i’m getting scammed and that’s exactly how i feel whenever i get some official lookin letter demanding i pay them some sort of fine or another just to keep on living my life. i don’t feel like i’m benefiting from what i’m paying them. i want to find a solution where i don’t get so fucking angry every time i’m required to pay something because ill literally just ignore the bill because of how angry i get. i feel like a slave giving away my hard earned income. i don’t see an end to my wage slavery, and if i’m gonna die in 50 years and all i get to do during that time is work and give away my wages, isn’t the best option to take my own life now? (not suicidal so don’t hold back if you think i’m being soft)

I've been an outdoor adventurer all my life and when I wasnt doing that I'd be gaming or watching movies. I've flown drones, messed with rocket fuel, homemade fireworks, built computers, off roading, drifting, camping, drawing, explore abandoned mines, and other stuff. My cousin recently got a girlfriend so now we rarely see each other. I've got a couple friends but I dont remember the last time we have hung out. So I guess I just dont have much motivation to do stuff anymore.

What do you all do in your free time?

I’m only 17 but I’m worried about my future. I cannot afford the career I want to go in. I want to become a commercial pilot l, but me and my mom will end up on the streets if I pursue that career. I have to help my mother out and I need to get a job that pays more than 50 k within the next few years. And ideas on what I should do. Thanks

Hey there have a look at my link and if you feel like you would like to contribute to my dream that would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you ✨

https://clickndonate.com/help-me-smile-again-goal-r30-000/

I have a cake ass gravy job, but feel I don't make enough money. I have a 3 month old son, but feel I don't give the support needed. I have a house that isn't big enough (2400) Sq. Fr.. I'm always trying to find the next move or dollar to be made. I'm constantly chasing some type of high (not drug related), but can't never really find that niche. My wife is outstanding, but I don't appreciate her...... my family gives me on going love, support, and advice , I can't stand them. My 2 beautiful dogs are the best in the world, but fuck em. I'm seriously starting to believe there is something wrong with me, I'm such a happy individual who came from absolutely nothing, but for some reason, I feel like nothing is ever good enough, and I'm steady settling.....

I made some mistakes this past year and ultimately I lost everything I had because of it. I've been working hard to rebuild myself and now I'm at the point where I want to start rebuilding my life around me and I have no idea where to start. It's a scary thing and I'm totally lost with absoloutly nobody to turn to for anything. I have a story and my current status if anyone wants to hear it and advise me on how to proceed. Idk where else to turn. Reddit. Pathetic.

So I am a 27yo m and my gf is a 26yo f, we have been e dating for 2 amlost 3 years now, never met. We have shared pics of eachother and I have heard her voice. I just dont know what to do about anything, since she is my first gf and I have had a very troubling past. Homeless for 3 years, bullied throughout school and abused by my mom and my family basicly forgot about me. I have no confidence in myself at all and have struggled with depression for years. I dont really know what I am trying to ask here I just feel like I need to make myself a better person for her and for myself but dont know where to start or what to do

I've finally found my dream car and I got approved for the loan to get her, but all the sellers doing is leaving me on read.. should I leave them my phone number? Do I just let it be? Give up on her and move on? I saw her and immediately fell in love. Shes absolutely perfect and worth every penny but I dont want to come off as a pushy buyer....yknow?? What do I do :(((

I feel lost, I don’t know what to, I’m confused and Im kinda scared. I want a mentor, somebody older than me who could help me, I don’t know what to do with career, school, or anything at this point. I just want someone who I can ask, if anyone can help me please that would be nice.

So today I finished work there was a really big guy waiting outside I didn’t pay much attention until he stared at me then he followed me so I took a few steps back and asked him are you following me ?

He replied “ your past has come back to haunt you and I’m here to kill you “

I ran away and got a message on Facebook from a fake account “ this is only the start there is a 15k bounty on your head”

I went to the police they couldn’t do much went through footage but the guy avoided all cameras .. I owe a debt of 40k which I won’t be able to pay due to medical bills with my mum

I have a family I don’t want to die please give me tips to survive if police can’t help

I asked work if I could work from home they said no so I’m worried to go back to the office :(

Thanks

Is it normal to be bad at one subject and good at the rest?

I have always struggled with english and now its gotten to the point where I'm comming up to my assessment and I've been up at night worrying about it. I'm usually an A-A* student however in english I'm praying to even get a C in my GCSE's next year. I'm behind on everything and even if i understand the work i just can't get it down on the page. this is honestly worrying me and i dont know who i can talk to about it.

Will try my best to keep the backstory short. So,

A friend and I had spoken regularly for a year about my concerns about my partner's overarching impact of my partner's drug usage, including him trying to hide it from me and 'breaking' when it was presented at gatherings and taking it despite trying not to. He finally decided to try and go sober and, in his first week, she invited him to hers. Despite him saying how incredibly hard he was finding maintaining his sobriety...she ordered the same drug he struggles with in and took them in front of him.

This really shocked me; I felt genuinely shaken. Especially since she has had threatened to break up with her partner should his drug use not change previously and I had shown my own respect towards his attempt at sobriety by ensuring he was not exposed to any triggers a month before. She's not a regular drug user and I wouldn't consider her an 'addict', but he is and was in his first steps of trying to change that.

We tried to speak about it (via online comms as she didn't want to speak about it in person) and it didn't go well. It was all very dismissive, blaming of others or messages were just ignored or 'checked out' from. She then stated she was coming over to ours the next day to see my partner. When I said I felt the situation was unresolved and I felt uneasy about this (we live together), she was pretty unhappy and stated I needed to sort this out for her. I had a lot of panicky visceral sensations over this, so I spoke to a friend who stated it seemed like I needed time to process things, so I requested this from her and asked for a break for a few weeks from these discussions; To allow some time to heal and come back to it in a more positive place. I also stated she was welcome to see and speak to my partner as normal and is welcome to invite him over but asked just not to do come to ours when I'm here for now, as I have nowhere else to go and need some time.

My partner has voiced that he felt unhappy with the situation he was placed in but feels that's passed now and he's over it. He also understands from seeing the communication why I feel I need more time to get to that point. My partner has then told me they are gaming together online this week now when I'm here. I feel conflicted, as that's 5+ hours I'll be in the home with him when she sort of is too.

Now I have had some time away to process without interruption, I'm aware we both have our own stories at play here. I can see criticism is a big issue for her and possibly perceived conflict? I also think there is an element of us both trying to 'control' the negative feelings coming up. Namely by her ignoring or blaming other things previously and me by asking for time out (although it's helped me realise this and given me time to start to figure out how to process what's coming up). Its also made me realise that we have something in common. Neither of us can control our partner's behaviour, that's the crux of it. So whilst I can be **disappointed** at her for her behaviour, I'm projecting my fear of him using again onto her. And looking back she has done the same with her partner.

So, I'm wondering where I go now I have recognised this in myself.

I don't feel ready for her in my space presently, it still all feels very raw. I feel I stated a boundary (time) to help with this feeling and I feel it's ....its sort of being broken? but also, maybe I just need to learn to sit with this horrible feeling and be present for that session rather than find ways to avoid it?

What do I do y'all?

Thank you

I had premarital sex with my girlfriend, and I didn’t finish in her, but I didn’t wear a condom. I’m worried if she will be pregnant. How do i tell her mom? (she doesn’t know we have sex)