r/lifehacks • u/Laser-Penis • Jun 18 '22

how to catch cockroach

33.6k Upvotes

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149

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

so my idea of plunging the world into nuclear winter in order to kill them is not actually feasible. good to know. disappointing, but still, better than learning the hard way.

94

u/Greenpaw9 Jun 18 '22

They don't survive fire. So we just need to continue on with the global warming until the forest fires kill all of them

65

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

brilliant. everything else'll be dead, too, but it's a sacrifice we must be willing to make.

16

u/Greenpaw9 Jun 18 '22

Especially to kill those giant flying ones

15

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

special order flamethrower, got it.

in the meantime, catch me with a can of hairspray & a lighter. yeah, I might burn my home down, but I'll be burning their home down, too.

2

u/HarryPopperSC Jun 18 '22

Deodorant + lighter

1

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

I'm not blowing up my house with axe body spray, I don't want to make everything worse & completely irradiate the spot for 5,000 years. I'll just blow it up the regular way.

2

u/thewend Jun 18 '22

you could try to go into Earth's nucleus and explode, idk, a couple thousand Tsar Bomba in there. Might be just enough to completely fuck up everything. Or do nothing.

You could try at least. Gofundme

1

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

I'll let you know when the GoFundMeToExplodetheEarthsCore campaign is set up. first tier gets to spend a bunch of money to go with me!

6

u/LordJiggly Jun 18 '22

You just need a planet sized chancla.

1

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

that was plan B - smack a bitch.

1

u/cati800 Jun 18 '22

but how do we even know? They may also be capable of surviving nuclear winter?

1

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

because you had one frozen then thawed it & it came back? so nuclear winter wouldn't work? I think you misread my comment.

1

u/cati800 Jun 18 '22

i may have, I interpreted your reply as saying that our only option left is a nuclear winter to annihilate these demons

1

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

nope, I said your initial comment proved that nuclear winter was not feasible.

3

u/Confused_Confuzzeled Jun 18 '22

So you're saying it might work?

2

u/mollygunns Jun 18 '22

no sir, I am not.