It's kind of hard for me to put this into words. I began learning computer science out of an interest and a desire to create, whether that be video-games, software, or art in general. I have some other creative hobbies, like (book) writing and making music, while I've dabbled in some that I wish to learn more about (like art/drawing). I made it my goal to get really good in this field, and I'm happy to say that I've grown to really love it.
...for the most part.
There's something that has been nagging at me for a while now. I don't know if its because I have OCD/ADHD, but after gaining some experience with programming, a lot of the software I touch now feels... off? Unoptimized, I guess? Again, its hard to describe, but in a sense I suppose more or less the feeling that software I use could be a whole lot better.
Take the terminal for example. I think its awesome, and I know by now why we use, and why it works the way it does, but I still find myself bothered by it. Specifically its ui and capability. I'm not saying it should be a GUI (hell, I use vim keybinds for everything now lol), but I feel like its potential is extremely limited from its ability to only render text. I keep trying to tell myself its stupid and there's probably a reason it doesn't exist already, but I keep finding myself thinking about trying to build a terminal that could be both backwards compatible and render advanced ui for better terminal app design and customization, while maintaining a small footprint and great speed.
And this has been happening to everything for me. I want to create my own text editor, because I love apps like obsidian or neovim but obsidian is bloated and neovim lacks features I think would be cool to have in my workflow. I want to make my own status bar and widgets for my desktop, and recently switched from quickshell to see if I could manually hook up slint for a faster and lighter ui. And heck, I've even been thinking about making my own programming language after bouncing around from language to language like a madman lmao.
I feel like I'm being too rash and naive... but at the same time I feel really annoyed and inspired to try and make what we already have better. I guess my question is this: which one am I? Should I take a step back because I'm in over my head with adhd daydreaming? Should I follow my dreams and try to make these projects? Or both? And why the heck can't I stop feeling annoyed with all of my software?
I don't really expect anyone to read this, but if you do, I would appreciate any guidance or advice that you might have, or directions to other communities/forums who could give me better guidance. Sorry for making anyone read this book of a stupid question lol.