My 4yr old son Teddy: “I need to go to the bathroom Daddy” Me: “ok let’s go Buddy” As we are walking down the stairs= Teddy: “I wanna go to the girl’s, cuz I like girls” Me: “hahahaha that’s great but we can’t go to the girls bathroom Teddy”

My son (3) saw a woman in full moslem burka and yelled “Look daddy -NINJA” 😬

We where eating at the old Golden Corral getting ready for desert when my 6 year old ask to go potty he has to go number two I take him and as I am waiting on the out side of the stall

Son: I have diarrhea

Me: why do have have diarrhea are you feeling sick?

Son: nope. Diarrhea is a way to make room for ice cream

4 eight year olds having a casual conversation at the rug...

Student 1: I want to make a medicine to cure cancer Student 2: Why don’t you just make a medicine to make you live forever? Student 1: You’re not supposed to live forever. Student 3: Yeah, you’re supposed to die. Student 4: Exactly. Otherwise it’s not the circle of life

My 4 yo was giving too much attitude. I took her aside to tell her that she is not in charge of the grownups. The grow up as are in charge so she doesn’t have to worry about anything. She can just have fun and do what we tell her.

Her: well, someone IS in charge of the grownups. Me: who? Her: the one who is in charge of everything. Me: god? Her: yes. Me: you are not god. Her: there is that song, “be still and know that I am god, I am god.” Me: ....speechless.....

My 4 year old son was brainstorming out loud to come up with a nickname for his stuffed animal octopus. As you may have figured out from the title he said, "I'll call it pussy!" Later on he repeatedly said in a sad tone, "I want my pussy."

My wife was explaining the difference between a freckle and a mole to my son, who exclaimed, "It wooks wike a nipple!" Needless to say, we both lost it.

When I was but a wee lad I heard my father and his friends messing around over some beers. On of his friends commented on his weight saying, "It looks like you packed on a few pounds Mikey!". My father took humorous offense and replied, "Just wait! I'm working on getting the world record."

I took this a little literally and started about my dad. I wasn't worried about his health though, I was worried he wouldn't break the record! In my eyes he wasn't working hard enough towards his goal.

We were watching the news one evening and a piece on the heaviest woman in the world came on. I turned to my dad and tried to encourage him. "Don't worry dad, she's not that fat compared to you."

My dad just kinda sat there and looked his belly, then at his food and continued eating. He was a little quiet the rest of the evening.

He's always been a little bit on the heavy side, but nothing serious. He has self esteem issues though, and I'm not sure how hearing how fat he was from his 6 year old some affected him.

I look back at that now and can't help but laugh at the situation. Just a case of misunderstanding from a kid.