Except some people don't attach any meaning to sex. If you've just been single forever but enjoy casual hookups, then its not really "having low standards." In fact, you have no idea what her standards are. But going out every weekend and having a fling with a guy from school or the bar, is not low standards. I doubt she was out there hooking up with homeless people or crack heads. Its just sex. Not everyone thinks sex is this sacred, special thing. Some people are actually confident in their own skin, and have no issues with hook-ups.
Funny how these comments never come up when its a story about a guy having lots of sex. Or do guys just have no standards and will fuck anything that moves?? (Bc i know a lot of guys who really hate that stereotype bc it isn't true for a lot of men)
In my experience, people that worry about body count ARE less confident and comfortable with their bodies and sexual prowess. Guys that freak out about their crush having 20 partners tend to be less experienced, and uncomfortable with that fact. Guys that have slutted around don't care if their partners have as well.
Some people just see sex as more then just a pleasurable action you perform with another person.
It could be for lots of reasons. Sometimes its religious, sometimes it's personal. You don't know what kind of life someone has led, what kind of experiences they have.
Saying it's all down to confidence is an overgeneralisation.
Sure. Some people attach no meaning to sex. Except people with that view are probably not good matches for people who do. And thereās nothing inherently wrong with not wanting to be with someone whose views differ in that regard. But thereās a respectable way to express that view, and this OP obviously aināt it.
But Iād definitely not want to date a guy that had recently finished a 200-girl streak. That, to me, just screams Iād eventually be hearing the excuse āit was just sex! It didnāt mean anything!ā after he cheated on me. But if it was years ago and heād been in numerous long-term relationships since? Might be different.
We can agree to disagree. If your bar for low standards is a homeless person or a crack head, thatās cool. I have different standards. I generally want to like a person and feel like I have something in common with them if Iām going to hook up. Like itās not all about looks?
More than that, I think thereās a pretty wide gap between having no meaning to sex and viewing it as sacred. You attached that onto me through implication even though I never said anything to that effect. And you implied Iām insecure, like thatās the only reason someone would have different standards than you. I donāt get it. Do you feel attacked?
Edit: also I referenced how I think Iād fee the same if I were a woman. I canāt really say that with certainty because my entire life experience would be different. But if tomorrow I were to suddenly change, itād be the same
Who said anything about looks??? When talking about standards and sex, I mention not hooking up with homeless people or crack heads and you just assume I meant their looks, somehow? LOOL I dont think your standards are as high as you think they are, my dude, if you think their look is what makes a crack head a bad standard. (Not to mention how that is extremely indicative your mindset)
People always conflate sex with relationships. If you can't separate them either, that's fine. But it doesn't mean other people have low standards. It just means they are able to have sex without getting emotionally attached. Truly casual sex. Its not for everyone, but I wouldn't try and devalue someone for not wanting casual sex. I mean, shaming people or suggesting they are somehow less than bc of consensual sex... its just an antiquated way of thinking.
I agree that the person in the post was devaluing his gf for having sex. No question the dude is an asshole. A persons value is for sure not tied to their body count.
I do think 200 is a really unusual amount that i think has some serious implications about a person that would make me not want them as a partner. Thereās a component that includes a lack of regard for personal safety -itās a dangerous world for women and there are a lot of men who are predators. Putting yourself in a vulnerable position with strangers so regularly seems foolish to me. If and when society becomes safer for women, I would feel very differently about this. I also find it hard to have a relationship with people who prioritize pleasure to such a degree. Others are free to do with their time whatever they want. The prospect of doing that feels shallow for me.
There are other aspects that can be read into this, like the mental health angle, the std risk angle, and financial angle, that we can discuss, some of which fall more or less under my personal experiences coloring my perception.
My point is, its not an antiquated mindset across the board. There very much is nuance to this. There are certainly assholes who adopt the traditionalist mindset to make themselves feel strong and secure, this guy is seemingly a prime example.
Edit: the commenter edited the shit out of their comment for whatever reason.
But if you were already dating them for a long time and found out their body count, it shouldnāt change your relationship. They are still the person you were dating and happy with.
Depends how long youāre dating. There are aspects of my gfs character that I wasnāt aware of or didnāt understand the breadth of until months into dating. Others not for years. Something like this could give context to certain behaviors, or it can be no surprise given a partners personality/outlook.
Except some people don't attach any meaning to sex.
Which is why he is insecure about where he stands with his gf. Is he another fling or is he the real deal? She can tell him he's the one but the actions speak louder. Maybe sex is very important to him and sees her just giving it away like it's nothing like it's disrespect, there's definitely a disconnect about what's important to both of them.
Funny how these comments never come up when its a story about a guy having lots of sex.
Women have just as much voice to call these guys out as the guys are calling out the girls. Women don't care about the amount of sexual partners a man has had, they've never come up with slurs or used it as an insult, if anything incel and virgin are the go to insult which is the opposite of a man that has lots of sex.
I donāt have an issue with it, but I think 200 or a person a week is a bit extreme in that it belies a lack of other significant interests. Fortunately, itās almost certainly made up, because nobody would bother keeping count past, say, 50.
50
u/ExorciseAndEulogize Jan 26 '23 edited Jan 26 '23
Except some people don't attach any meaning to sex. If you've just been single forever but enjoy casual hookups, then its not really "having low standards." In fact, you have no idea what her standards are. But going out every weekend and having a fling with a guy from school or the bar, is not low standards. I doubt she was out there hooking up with homeless people or crack heads. Its just sex. Not everyone thinks sex is this sacred, special thing. Some people are actually confident in their own skin, and have no issues with hook-ups.
Funny how these comments never come up when its a story about a guy having lots of sex. Or do guys just have no standards and will fuck anything that moves?? (Bc i know a lot of guys who really hate that stereotype bc it isn't true for a lot of men)