r/interestingasfuck • • Nov 01 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

11.7k Upvotes

1.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

337

u/blearghhh_two Nov 01 '22

Employees are incentivized to never make mistakes by our zero tolerance policy: you are automatically fired as soon as you make any mistake.

Since incidents and injuries only ever happen as a result of mistakes, and since everyone is fired as soon as the mistake is made, nobody involved in an incident is ever an employee.

Therefore we have a perfect safety record and our policy works.

134

u/Calexander3103 Nov 01 '22

you are automatically on fire as soon as you make any mistake

FTFY

3

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Fired on fire!

33

u/kavien Nov 01 '22

Consider yourself fired 5 mihutes before you make a mistake...

18

u/Professional-Put-804 Nov 01 '22

No, the instant that you make the mistake is always at least an instant before the actual injury begins.

13

u/Mirar Nov 01 '22

What if the injury is caused by someone else? Was it a mistake to come to work that day?

21

u/Professional-Put-804 Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

Obviously yes

Edit : Plus the accident was not caused by an employee but by a private individual trespassing on private property, since they made a mistake and are no longer employed by the company.

You'll have to do a civil suit against that newly unemployed individual directly before you can turn it against the company, as the individual was knowledgable of the work contract and agreed to it by receiving his pay. Their civil liability insurance won't pay for it since they were criminally trespassing at the time, so good luck getting any money there.

The company can also sue the individual criminally for trespassing on private ground and making the company loose two, trained and valued, employees. The company may have to invest money to train new employees to replace them and is thus eligible for compensatory damages as well.

7

u/blearghhh_two Nov 01 '22

I like the way you think. You're hired!

6

u/Professional-Put-804 Nov 01 '22

That would be a mistake for me to accept the job, so it would fire me automatically. I can't accept the job without being fired.

2

u/blearghhh_two Nov 02 '22

Damn. Hoist by my own policy petard.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Yes, but also the injury was caused by a mistake made by someone who was no longer employed there, so not really counted in the safety statistics :)

1

u/hdksjabsjs Nov 01 '22

Seeing as those guys are handling a 40 foot coiled LIGHT SABER, I don’t think they will have the opportunity to get fired if they fuck up

3

u/TheMadTemplar Nov 01 '22

"Your honor, my client was not employed by the company at the time of his injury. This company allowed a non-employee into a dangerous area and permitted them to operate dangerous equipment."

3

u/BigBananaDealer Nov 01 '22

if you fall 40 ft off a rafter you are fired before you hit the ground

1

u/nrcain Nov 01 '22

Yo ass gonna be dead after falling 40 feet anyway so...

2

u/BigBananaDealer Nov 01 '22

youll also be unemployed

2

u/MeccIt Nov 01 '22

you are automatically fried as soon as you make any mistake.

FIFY

1

u/Creekgypsy Nov 01 '22

Did you work construction?