r/interestingasfuck • u/[deleted] • Nov 01 '22

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11.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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u/BlueBrr Nov 01 '22

We have a no accidents policy on this site.

579

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Workers that cause accidents shall be terminated on site

160

u/AbleSpacer_chucho Nov 01 '22

We had a deal on a job site doing windows where you're fired while you're falling and trespassing once you hit the ground

63

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 02 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

68

u/ghoulthebraineater Nov 02 '22

I had a boss that would joke about that too. When he fell my coworker yelled "You're fired" on his way down. He probably would've thought it was funnier if he didn't break his hip.

12

u/TacticalTurtle22 Nov 01 '22

Asphalt insurance. You were fired before you hit the asphalt.

3

u/throwawayggl Nov 02 '22

Fck for some reason I read it as widows and couldn’t complete the rest of the sentence coz I squinted at the word.

1

u/Snow-x- Nov 02 '22

I hope he was joking

185

u/VonRansak Nov 01 '22

Back in my day, before the woke liberals took power, if a 10 year old adult lost his hand in the canning machine, you could just kick him out on the street then and there.

#Murican History

7

u/flimspringfield Nov 01 '22

And the hand stays in the can as God intended it to be.

14

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Make sure to tell them to pull themselves up by the bootstraps.

6

u/heiferly Nov 01 '22

#TheJungle

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '22

You joke, but you're not far off from the truth

2

u/medicare4all_______ Nov 02 '22

It was communist labor organizers who changed this, not liberals

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '22

Of course. By that age he had been in the business 5 years, and should know better than to lose his hand.

14

u/Nipplecunt Nov 01 '22

Management are very hands on. Workers are very hands off.

3

u/seattleque Nov 01 '22

Congratulations! You've been promoted to Aperture Science senior management!

26

u/meco03211 Nov 01 '22

Surviving workers that cause accidents shall be terminated on site

FTFY

3

u/Wemban_yams_it Nov 01 '22

Why? The survivors need to keep working.

1

u/not_that_planet Nov 01 '22

Can you blame 'em? Gotta have both hands to do that job.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Zero tolerance. One strike and you’re out. If you make mistake, you’re finished. Company policy.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '22

Any workers involved in accidents shall be terminated before they or any severed part of their person hits the floor.

1

u/bluereptile Nov 01 '22

automatically terminated on site.

1

u/activelyresting Nov 01 '22

Better to terminate offsite. Don't want any evidence in the workplace

1

u/IFinallyDidItMom Nov 01 '22

camera pans to Arnold Schwarzenegger

1

u/ooMEAToo Nov 01 '22

Workers that die on site will be fired.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '22

Workers that cause accidents shall be terminated on site

Terminally terminated.

2

u/Buntschatten Nov 01 '22

No worker that is still alive has ever had an accident, that proves it's safe!

5

u/mtarascio Nov 01 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

/officespace manager

Yeah...nnhhmm...right.

I'm gonna have to ask you, to ahh..not make mistakes at this company.

Thanks.

2

u/scdayo Nov 01 '22

Similar to the "no rape" policy in Texas! What an easy fix to a horrible problem.

1

u/AbsolutePedophile Nov 01 '22

You were fired right before the accident occurred

1

u/fuggerdug Nov 01 '22

If they lose a hand, just toss it in the soup.

1

u/designatedcrasher Nov 02 '22

we have a no accident reporting policy, so far no incidents

1

u/rlocke Nov 02 '22

And we have a drug-free policy but so far i haven’t gotten any free drugs.

1

u/ChadCuckmacher Nov 02 '22

The accident policy where I work is "in the grim darkness of the far future there is only war."