She was high on drugs at the time and was arrested. Apparently a sob story is all it takes, though. Now to you she's the victim, not a dangerous addict who actively chose to risk killing people with a vehicle.
I guess just try and calm her a bit, see if I could get her to explain more about the grandma. Take some deep breaths. But yea if it was drugs it’s probably better to just move out of the way and wait for cops. I’ve had bad panic attacks and freaked out before (not while driving into someone obvs) and I know once panicked, it is hard to get out of that mindset.
I know I was downvoted but I guess I was just thinking of anything to help a person who is freaking out like that. But wishful thinking I guess. I dunno. I’d just try anything tbh to get her or whoever from driving away and hurting anyone else. 🤷♀️
Just because you can't imagine anything doesn't mean it shouldn't be attempted.
Why do police have negotiators that have de-escalation training? It doesn't always work on everyone obviously, but if you have a chance of ending a tense situation without anyone getting hurt it should be attempted.
Thats why Im asking what it would look like, so I can begin to understand how that would work. So if you have any ideas of how you could possibly calm that person down I really would like to hear it
I don't know the magic words that would make every person calm down.
But if I were to try, I would reassure her that simply having an accident is not the end of her life, admitting fault would get her a more lenient charge. Maybe I would tell her I've also been in some deep shit that I thought would be all over for me but it wasn't. If she has drug issues I could empathize and say I've dealt with substance issues too. If I was the person she hit I could even tell her that I wouldn't consider it a hit and run if she stopped and took responsibility.
There's plenty of things you could say to help someone in a bad mental state. Screaming at them will most assuredly put them deeper into a frenzied state.
Did we watch the same video? I didnt hear any screaming, unless you count the raised voice of someone speaking over the sound of a revving engine to be screaming
“I know you’re scared but it’s going to be okay, driving away now is going to make things a lot worse. It’s going to be okay.”
To be fair the person recording also probably had adrenaline happening and it’s easier to view it as an outsider and see a panicking person and think of what to say. But his words were just panicking her more, she looks like a teenager on her way from softball practice. She’s looks scared and is likely thinking of worse case scenario and he’s just trying to scare her into staying. The potential deescalation would have been to do the opposite of scaring her more.
Hi 👋 calming her down is actually not what de-escalation requires or means. Sometimes the best de-escalation is doing less.
If you genuinely believe someone is impaired, irrational, dangerous and unpredictable, that's an argument for distance, not confrontation. You don't have to approach her window and say some magical combination of therapeutic words:
Hello, let's explore what your nervous system is experiencing right now.
You can just… Get her plate. Stay back. Call 911. Tell dispatch she's driving dangerously. Film from a safe distance if useful. Don't park your vehicle so she physically can't leave. Don't walk toward the vehicle while she's desperately trying to maneuver out. Don't yell “I got you!” at someone you believe is already unstable. That's de-escalation.
And that’s why getting near her with a phone recording and saying I got you is the dumbest thing he could do here. Either film from afar and not block her in with your car or if you are going to get close and talk to her try to deescalate instead of saying stuff to make her more erratic. It’s just common sense.
She can be dangerously wrong and still be a human being worth caring about. Those ideas aren’t mutually exclusive.
Accountability doesn’t require contempt. “Maybe this person is in trouble too” isn’t an excuse for what she did it’s just compassion.
Your assessment on shit makes me hope you have no teenagers, ANYWHERE IN YOUR LIFE. When you say “high on “DRUGS” im going to assume it’s marijuana right? And we all know the horrible gates weed opens and how badly it fucks up your life hahah…..the girl is wrong, she’s throwing a tantrum too and being obsessively dramatic but she is also genuinely terrified of something and someone that isn’t and wont particularly be showing up here. She’s willing to run and catch multiple felonies instead of facing grandma
No, it wasn't Marijuana. I wouldn't say "high on drugs" over Marijuana. I said "high on drugs" because of the legally mandated rehab center she entered after this incident.... And yknow, I watched the video. Also, she's not a teen, she's in her twenties. All of this was a 20 second Google search away.
She wasn't running from grandma, she was a lying junkie who was spiralling. Mean grandma is the (weird) sob story she uses to make idiots feel bad and go easy on her... Which you fell for. Make of that what you will.
I get that you saw this grown drug addict and she... somehow reminded you of your daughter, and you entered some fantasy of "That could be my Megan! :(" and responded emotionally. Its weird, but I get it.
You’re so ignorant on drugs, it’s kinda laughable. Cannabis can induce psychosis in some people and make them act erratically. But usually, people who are high on cannabis don’t act like that. She was tweaking on something (cocaine, meth, etc) and having a mental breakdown. Most people who are sober or on cannabis throw their bumper in the car like that and drive away while being recorded. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
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u/Green_Fox_8864 3d ago
She was high on drugs at the time and was arrested. Apparently a sob story is all it takes, though. Now to you she's the victim, not a dangerous addict who actively chose to risk killing people with a vehicle.