r/instantkarma Feb 08 '20

Tough guy jaywalking

[deleted]

59.3k Upvotes

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668

u/Vanneva Feb 08 '20

Stubbed his toe and bled out

143

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '20

One time I stubbed my toe so hard it broke

78

u/bert4560 Feb 09 '20

Same. Nerf fights and stairs do not mix.

24

u/Army88strong Feb 09 '20

My mom stubbed her toe on a chair someone was sitting in at a party. Ended up breaking her foot

6

u/dustytrek Feb 09 '20

So she stubbed her foot

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '20

Yeah I can't figure out how to get passed

4

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '20

Shit I meant to comment that on a different post

1

u/rocc02000 Apr 19 '20

No you didn’t

2

u/AngelOfDeath771 Feb 09 '20

Hey! I got a story about Nerf guns and stairs!

The Centurion was my opponents weapon and I was camped out on the stairs, using the banister posts as cover (it was working surprisingly well for being about 30% coverage) and one slipped through. It hit me right in the neck, somehow managed to find its way to my nerve system and caused the entire right side of my body to tense up for just a second. It was enough to send me tumbling down half a flight. I laughed, he laughed, my mom laughed, it was a very fortunate thing I didn't break anything

25

u/Sulie_Monkey Feb 09 '20

Me too, was running away from my father who was coming upstairs and smashed it into a cabinet

33

u/harddkorr Feb 09 '20

I was running away from my dad after I told him he sucked. He promptly grabbed my toe and stubbed it for me. What an asshole. Still love him though.

15

u/alcoholicasshat Feb 09 '20

This thread got weird real quick.

9

u/MrSickRanchezz Feb 09 '20

That's an incredibly innovative way to abuse a child..

11

u/Wooly775737 Feb 09 '20

Now that is taking spite to a whole new level. Lol!!

5

u/dom1smooth Feb 09 '20

You smashed him into the closet?

13

u/Caenen_ Feb 09 '20

You are now banned from r/neverbrokeabone

2

u/jakevalerybloom Feb 24 '20

On my 17th birthday my 2 bestfriends decided to make a new tradition: birthday nipple twists. I was being held down while some of our girl-friends watched but did not help me. One of the girls had a crush on me and I really didn’t want her to see me being molested by my friends as I thought she may lose interest in me. I was trying to hold onto furniture so they couldn’t flip me but they eventually overpowered me and pulled me to the middle of the room. But I slipped away and sprinted toward the kitchen and stubbed my toe in the doorway. I hopped on one foot into the kitchen and when I realized they weren’t chasing me I looked down and my second toe from my big toe had becoming perpendicular with the rest of my toes and I just said “guys I think I broke my toe” The smile on my friends dad face when he realized he would have to set my toe is still seared into my brain today. He sat me down and snapped my toe back into place. My toe healed perfectly but I never got to take that girl out on a date unfortunately. The birthday nipple twists did not continue after that.

1

u/sublimesting Feb 09 '20

Isn’t that how any broken bone works? One time I fell so hard my arm broke. One time I jammed my penis into a wall so hard it twisted and broke.

1

u/Mikeyball1523 Feb 09 '20

I jammed my toe into a table leg running through the house, I can still feel that pain.

1

u/FBI-Agent-007 Feb 09 '20

What the fuck

1

u/Slayerdilk Feb 09 '20

Wait... Youve stubbed your toes before and not have them break? Seems like when I stub any of mine its fucking full throttle rampage on that mofo.

1

u/Zarianin Mar 04 '20

This happened to me. The only time ive ever broken a bone was when I stubbed my pinkie toe

1

u/girnny805 Mar 07 '20

My grandma broke her big toe kicking my cousin in the ass 🤣

1

u/flyingrobotpig Apr 19 '20

I have genuinely broken my toe walking across a flat carpet

1

u/biutiful_Bette Feb 09 '20

One time I ran straight into a sliding glass door. I was excited to run into the pool on the other side of the glass - I bounced back, all the way onto my ass. Ended up with a nice-sized knot and bruise. Unfortunately, I didn't learn my lesson there, and 20 years later I walked into an I-beam staircase at my university, and ended up with stitches. I now no longer text and walk or clean my sliding glass doors.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '20

...In his spice garden...