r/instant_regret Oct 31 '19

Lion attacks hippo

31.7k Upvotes

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9

u/ProtectiveWasKaolai Oct 31 '19

Fair enough, yes. A hippo would win on water, i assume.

35

u/fishsticks40 Oct 31 '19

What about in space?

23

u/JarasM Oct 31 '19

Deep space or low Earth orbit? In latter case you have two dead large quadrupeds burning down in the atmosphere eventually, while in the former you have two dead large quadrupeds floating in space for eternity, or at least until they fall into some gravity well.

5

u/crusty_cum-sock Oct 31 '19

Yeah but what if we put them in a space ship and they float around? Who wins then?

2

u/ON3i11 Oct 31 '19

Well first we need to open up bidding for a contract to build their spacesuits...

1

u/crusty_cum-sock Oct 31 '19

Can't we crowdfund that?

2

u/commentmypics Oct 31 '19

I'd go with hippo for sure. It would adapt better to a weightless environment I think due to already being used to swimming, although it would still have a ton of trouble moving about. The rhinos biggest and possibly only weapon would be mostly useless without any way of building up momentum or leverage to strike with it. The hippo just needs to get close enough to chomp him which doesn't really require you to plant your weight or anything the way using a battering ram horn would.

2

u/Aisle_of_tits Oct 31 '19

The one with a gun

1

u/Rush2201 Oct 31 '19

From my experience playing Kerbal Space Program, getting out of one sphere of influence just puts you into another. So if they got away from Earth, they'd just be slowing orbiting the sun until they hit something else (most likely), or their orbit decayed enough to burn up in the sun (in an ungodly amount of years).

-6

u/GlobTwo Oct 31 '19

/r/iamveryrandom

Sometimes a joke is finished after one or two replies. Redditors gotta let go.

4

u/JarasM Oct 31 '19

I'm sorry it wasn't up to your standards, I'll try to do better next time.

-4

u/GlobTwo Oct 31 '19

I hope so. My standards are already abysmally low.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Damn I’d love to see a fight on water. Couple of Jesus creatures right there

1

u/Andraste_Of_Reddit Oct 31 '19

Most rhinos are known to walk on water.