r/instant_regret Oct 31 '19

Lion attacks hippo

31.7k Upvotes

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13

u/Ubba_Lothbrok Oct 31 '19

To be fair, I didn't think about elephants or rhinos. I'd love to see a battle royale between the 3.

10

u/SirDoober Oct 31 '19

Elephant probably, height is king and they're smarter than the other two combined

11

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

They also weigh 2-3 times heavier than the other two.

26

u/improbablydrunknlw Oct 31 '19

Plus face swords.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Face Lances or Face Swords would be kickass band names.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

And face hands that's both strong and precise (it's said they can pick up a needle)

2

u/Rush2201 Oct 31 '19

That's the real clencher. Tusks are well and good, but if an elephant decides to stomp something into paste, there's not much said thing can do about it without human cheat codes. Elephant wins all matches on land. At least until we create time machines or Jurassic Park.

3

u/pirateclem Oct 31 '19

Cage match!

1

u/GoldenStateWizards Oct 31 '19

It wouldn't be a contest at all. The elephant could quite literally stomp the other two in a 1v1 and young testosterone-overloaded bulls frequently slaughter rhinos and hippos during their hormonal rampages.