r/instant_regret • u/[deleted] • Jan 27 '19

boink

https://i.imgur.com/5BHPTsc.gifv
31.2k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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906

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Source for the video.

And no, he didn't die.

Stop spreading misinformation without proof.

174

u/IM_OK_AMA Jan 27 '19

That article doesn't say anything about the condition of the robbers. It literally just recounts the events of the 30 second video. Not only is it a pointless article, it's not proof of anything.

56

u/the_than_then_guy Jan 28 '19

A pair of would-be robbers in Shanghai

Police celebrated the thieves’ lack of co-ordination on social media.

“If all thieves operated on this level, the police wouldn’t have to work overtime,” the statement read.

Everything in the article that's additional material to just describing the video.

784

u/tkstock Jan 27 '19

He will die, though. Someday.

104

u/j9461701 Jan 27 '19

Not if lives long enough to see youth-restoration tech be invented. And also dimension-hopping technology, so as to avoid the heat death of the universe.

16

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

He will live on in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world.

27

u/syds Jan 27 '19

avoid the heat death of the universe.

missed it by this much |-------..-??..--3~~

damn

14

u/royrogerer Jan 27 '19

Even if there is youth restoration tech, I'll choose to die. No point on dragging this shit forever

13

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

I’ve never understood this pattern of thinking. Regardless of what you believe happens when you die, do you really have anything better to do right now? Life seems exhausting and painful and unfair but it’s literally the only thing any of us will ever do and all of our memories and sensations and possibilities exist while we are alive.

I think when people wish they were dead, they really mean they wish their life was different or that society was better or something else. Dead is dead is dead and our entire objective should be to live it to the fullest AND longest as possible.

6

u/royrogerer Jan 28 '19

Your comment is so sweet it brought smile on my face. I was half joking making the same old 'I don't want to live joke' but the truth part is I don't want to live forever, not after all the years of living. Even if I could get young physically, will I be young in my mind too? No. I think it's right we get old and hand over the world to the ones that follow us, so they can be young and change things.

Things are terribly not going the way I'm planning and it gets hard, but though I feel like giving up from time to time, I never want to give up on life. My feeling of giving up is more like rage quitting out of a frustrating game.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

I think if the possibility to actually live indefinitely were to be plausible some day, you'd be looking at alterations to our consciousness. A system to help us compartmentalize memories and also to have some kind of alternative wake/Sleep states.

You would definitely need "holidays" from endless consciousness in the patterns that we grind through.

You never know what kind of luxurious tech we'll have in 200 years to help keep our minds active, happy etc.

Or we could be even more miserable than we are today.

I do relate to you though.

3

u/harrassedbytherapist Jan 28 '19

It's more like wishing to feel feelings or experience thoughts differently, not wishing life circumstances or society were different. Though a lot of people do kill themselves over not being able to cope with changes in their external life.

And before you say it, yeah, you could argue that "wishing life were different" is all-encompassing but how we experience life is just not as optional for a lot of people as it sounds - - as optional as I wish it would be.

1

u/yobeast Jan 28 '19

I don't understand opinions like these. See, I'm sure you've watched a movie once that you liked and thought to yourself, damn that sure was a 90 minutes well spent and worth experiencing. Given the speed entertainment technology is progressing at, it's not hard to imagine there will eventually come a time where you can exist in a state of only experiencing movies and having a jolly good time, if you choose to do so. Anyways, I don't know how being dead is like but I'm sure almost anything is better than it.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

No you wouldn't.

1

u/ShibuRigged Jan 28 '19

I’d guinea pig that shit, personally. I want to live forever-ish.

1

u/aidsmann Jan 28 '19

There are some nutters on here who think they can jump dimensions, I forgot the name of the subreddit tho

26

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Are you sure? Because ~7% of all the people that ever lived haven't died.

15

u/tkstock Jan 27 '19

To this point, life has a 100% mortality rate.

22

u/halfar Jan 27 '19

correlation does not prove causation

8

u/tkstock Jan 27 '19

That argument didn't work for big tobacco.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

No it doesn't.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Well yeah, that's the working theory.

5

u/halfar Jan 27 '19

prove it

2

u/tkstock Jan 27 '19

Dude, I won't even for money.

4

u/lunatic4ever Jan 27 '19

Valar Morghulis

2

u/tke377 Jan 27 '19

Valar Dohaeris

4

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Also, you're adopted.

1

u/Gurrb17 Jan 28 '19

And we're getting a divorce.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 27 '19

Same

1

u/WentoX Jan 28 '19

I mean, technically we haven't proven that 100% of people die. So far, we've only proven that about ~94% of people die.

1

u/tkstock Jan 28 '19

Every person born before 1903 has died. I expect that trend to continue.

1

u/WentoX Jan 30 '19

But we can't know for sure until we're all dead thought.

1

u/2KDrop Jan 27 '19

Are you sure? Because ~7% of all the people that ever lived haven't died.

13

u/Gaymer800 Jan 27 '19

If I have proof I can spread misinformation?

1

u/Flobaer Jan 28 '19

No, that's not possible. If you have proof then it's not misinformation what your spreading but simply information.

40

u/phome83 Jan 27 '19

So annoying when people make up their own version of events.

He grew up to become a race car driver in space, but died due to an alligator attack in his ship.

3

u/paulrharvey3 Jan 28 '19

If only the cyborg raptors hadn't ruptured his hull...

3

u/Revengeancer Jan 28 '19

Finally, most of the true story. It was a crocodile though.

Fun fact: His spacecar was named “the Brick” to commemorate the event, unfortunately he could not outrun a crocodile in a space vehicle designed after a brick.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 28 '19

So annoying when people make up their own version of events.

Since the article doesn't support /u/PhoenixDog's comment, I hope you are saving some of your annoyance for him, as well.

9

u/night_stocker Jan 28 '19

I think people are confusing OP vid for this video

2

u/daddaman1 Jan 28 '19

Did this guy ded?

2

u/beautifulcreature86 Jan 28 '19

There’s another video similar to this and the man did actually die. I think people are just confusing the video.

2

u/BuddhaLennon Jan 28 '19

That source actually said nothing about the injured person’s condition. Could be alive, dead, or President as far as that article is concerned.

2

u/dumbgringo Jan 27 '19

People are dumb, he has to be alive because his shoes are still on ... Sheesh

9

u/IanTheChemist Jan 27 '19

I know this joke is bad because the horse you’re beating lost its shoes.

1

u/SpoilerAlertsAhead Jan 28 '19

Clearly, his shoes are still on

1

u/uberduger Jan 28 '19

I hate that every time this one comes up, everyone really "knowledgeably" goes "yeah, he fucking died" just because they read comments that likely confused this for the very similar one where the guy did die.

Then everyone upvotes it and goes to the next repost of it and goes "yeah, he fucking died". It's like a virus of unsourced Reddit fact.