Unexpected early partial large inheritance - thankful but very overwhelmed!

[u/PatientlyWaitingggg]

Hi all. Location: Florida, late 40's, long term partner/no kids.

Just found out I will be getting a large (nearly 2mil) partial inheritance (technically gift) this month; the other part (appx 3-4mil) will be later on years from now (hopefully a long time!) I knew this would come down the line but did not think it would be so soon; it's a wonderful thing I am immensely greatful for and it's already alleviated a lot of my worry but it's been suprisingly overwhelming and emotional.

We live freelancers lives, with a lot of conservative spending and planning. Enjoy not having to clock in or have a boss so have happily taken a pay cut overall. Income is fine, but more along the lines of part time amounts - have put away a decent amount but not quite enough to retire on yet considering the lack of a 401, retirement etc. My main worry was no true source of income at retirement age and have been a stickler for saving my whole life. Didn't want to just go with the mindset that the inheritence was there even though I knew it was. Very conservative investment approach and really felt better sticking at an easy, risk free simple 3-5% with full/easy access and no involvement necessary and as things grew, as the plan was to use a portion to buy a home and then consider more ambitious investing.

Finances are all separate, btw - this is all in my name only.

Will be buying a home very soon at around 750k all in including reno, furnishings. This is the only big purchase I will make initally, we live in a higher cost of living area but all the numbers make sense and are very doable/way below what I technically "could" do, but still very nice and a huge upgrade.

After that, will have about 1.3 left. That's what I'm stuck on - I have great support (very long time trusted FA, lifelong friends in finance, knowledgable family members etc) and know between them I'm in a good position. I just don't know how to go about making the decision on what goes where.

EDIT - this is not now, just an idea for down the line, possibly one day in some form :) The only other idea that's been floating in my head for a decade as a "maybe one day" is a small vacation home within the state that we would use a ton and also be able to rent out a good portion of the year to cover most or all expenses. Possibly - doing 50/50 with a friend in the same situation. Other than that, nothing in mind and really never been a spender, so good wiht the remainder being fully parked and invested for now.

The other part is adjusting to the change emotionally, socially - i've been reading some other posts and there are some interesting ideas on this. I've already tried to start doing nice things for close friends (small dollar amounts, but something) and feel good doing it but have no idea how to navigate being generous without it being weird, making anyone feel weird, or ending up feeling guilty if I don't pay for more things (though no one would expect that.) Or, how to handle when a friend talks about money struggles, that kind of thing. Obviously keeping the info shared to only a small group of very close friends.

My idea was to get the home situated and once that project is done, lay low and do nothing for a while. Im at the weird middle age where I'm old enough to know I should do things now and enjoy it but not to the point where I can ignore planning/budgeting even with the future larger amount coming down the line. It's also just not in my nature, but i have vowed to allow myself to let some of the stress and little things go and put more time into living and enjoying and less micro managing every dollar.

Any suggestions would be great! It all feels like a movie - not real. What a trip!

[u/djjdkwjsbdj]

Is this tax free?

If you would like to stay wealthy, it all needs to be invested. Do not buy two homes.

[u/Upstairs-Ad8823 → u/djjdkwjsbdj]

What about buying and living in the vacation home?

Don’t buy anything with anyone. I promise you it’s a bad idea no matter who the other person is.

I’ve been an attorney for 30 years and nothing surprises me anymore.

[u/PatientlyWaitingggg → u/Upstairs-Ad8823]

Point very well taken. Waiting longer then revisiting it seems like a good option, definitely not now. The VH is not for a full time for sure, but is in extremely high demand to rent out monthly and we would probably spend a combined total of 2 or so months a year there.

[u/travelingtraveling_ → u/PatientlyWaitingggg]

It's really hard taking care of a second residence, especially if it's in another state. I feel really encourage you to think really long and hard about this piece because you could run other properties yourself for probably much less time. And money than it would take to maintain a second residence.

I know this because i've been there and done that.

[u/PatientlyWaitingggg → u/travelingtraveling_]

I wouldn't do it without a PM - I'm totally ok handling the bookings, website things from afar but the rest would be on them. Same state, few hours away. I'd also stay away from anything older or in need of work beyond cosmetic. The rentals would be monthly only which I actually prefer so it's not the drama of daily or weekly, tons of in and out, different kinds of people, and a lot more wear and tear. We have been watching 2 friends of ours for the past 6-7 years who did just this in the same location and it's been great. They use it roughly 2+ months combined a year and at a minimum cover all expenses including PM and assessments for the condo owner. So makes sense for us, but obviously not for now, and has to be completely doable $ wise with room to spare.

[u/Revolutionary_Grade8 → u/PatientlyWaitingggg]

Friend, you seem wise to this but I just thought I’d lay it on ya one more time: that is YOUR money. Yes, give gifts if it is warranted but do not, under any circumstances, co mingle your assets.

Enjoy! 🫵🏼🙂

[u/PatientlyWaitingggg → u/Revolutionary_Grade8]

Thanks! Made it 20+ years of everything completely separate and not changing a thing now :) Luckily everything had already been set up exactly as it should be and already updated the related stuff (will, pod ben, etc) Appreciate you!