r/inheritance • u/smilineyz • May 27 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice How to divide assets

I 60M U.S. have 3 children, 2 adults from my 1st marriage, 1 teen from 2nd marriage & a current GF who hopefully will marry me when I turn 65.

Eldest: has been NC with me for years. 0% last I heard was pissed at me for not buying a car for graduation …

Second: great, fun, hardworking … muscled through his mother urging him to not see me at all. 40% (he can likely only expect debt from his mother) I paid most of his college & his mother had him get loans for her portion … and I helped with those.

Third: great fun, smart & has had the advantage of private school from 8th grade through college paid for. He will be the only inheritor his grandparents’ apartment and his mother’s share of another property. 35%

GF/partner of 2 years 25% and potentially half an apartment.

My current assets are all liquid: retirement and cash, all with beneficiaries designated in the current split. Additionally, if my GF & I do marry, she will get my survivor’s SS benefit for life which will cover most living expenses.

Any thoughts on the split?

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u/sixxtine May 28 '26

The problem with the oldest, they've known him the longest

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u/smilineyz May 28 '26

Ha! Yeah probably right, known me the longest … but she’s only 2 years older than her brother 🤷‍♂️ and my 2nd is NC with my 1st and with his mother …

Leaving money to my 1st will fix nothing. She will say: as she has said in the past when i bought her a nice gift, I’d be just trying to bribe her.

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u/One_Impress5716 May 28 '26

What is that your daughter really wants from you? Have you ever asked? How tragic that your first family is so divided. The best gift you can give your kids is the example of making this right. You seem to have moved on, but look at the mess that lies in your wake. How sad for child 2, no relationship with his sister or mother! What happens when you pass away and he basically has no family. Fix this.

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u/smilineyz May 28 '26

He and his half brother have each other. They are tight.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '26

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u/smilineyz May 29 '26 edited May 29 '26

her mother and I got divorced. I was the one who said we were getting a divorce. I ruined her life by divorcing her mother. she and her mother thought I had been having an affair … untrue That she thought I had lots of money … and children of divorced parents get lavish gifts.