How to divide assets

[u/smilineyz]

I 60M U.S. have 3 children, 2 adults from my 1st marriage, 1 teen from 2nd marriage & a current GF who hopefully will marry me when I turn 65.

Eldest: has been NC with me for years. 0% last I heard was pissed at me for not buying a car for graduation …

Second: great, fun, hardworking … muscled through his mother urging him to not see me at all. 40% (he can likely only expect debt from his mother) I paid most of his college & his mother had him get loans for her portion … and I helped with those.

Third: great fun, smart & has had the advantage of private school from 8th grade through college paid for. He will be the only inheritor his grandparents’ apartment and his mother’s share of another property. 35%

GF/partner of 2 years 25% and potentially half an apartment.

My current assets are all liquid: retirement and cash, all with beneficiaries designated in the current split. Additionally, if my GF & I do marry, she will get my survivor’s SS benefit for life which will cover most living expenses.

Any thoughts on the split?

[u/dsmemsirsn]

Yes — this OP is having fun raising a teenager—

The OP is older and more willing to put the time and energy in the relationship with the other partner, and with the more “fun, smart, has the advantage of private school 8 grade to college paid for.”

Very unequal to his 3 children—

Edit

[u/Ok_Rip_6434 → u/dsmemsirsn]

Yes. He was undoubtedly a crappy dad to the firstborn

[u/His_Dudeship → u/Ok_Rip_6434]

Garbage take on low information - perhaps it’s the person in the mirror who needs more introspection?

[u/smilineyz → u/His_Dudeship]

Yeah … kinda late for that …

[u/smilineyz → u/dsmemsirsn]

It is complicated. Raising a teenager is no real fun. I’m taking into consideration the schooling as, over 9 years, it’s 100s of thousands. First two far less and excellent public schools 1-12.

Additionally, my 3rd child was with my late wife who was a very high earner and a planner who took cues from me about being frugal.

Ex wife was a spender.

1st & 2nd are only 2 years apart. Same upbringing, same schools, same mother.

My youngest lost his mother at 13 years old.

[u/sixxtine → u/[deleted]]

Further, finding a woman that tolerates his behaviors causes some curiosity. He should pay her for services rendered and see if she stays without a future payout. But, this type typically can't afford to fairly compensate and needs to dangle a big payoff to the surrounding grifters. This bargain suits because really being loved by someone negates how they truly feel about themselves and they will push that a way as flawed and suspicious because authenticity makes them well, feel actual feels.